From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Racism, as it is known, is the horrible act of discriminating against a creature not of the human race. Racism is a form of discrimination used around the world, and has existed for as long as mankind. It is known specifically for the harsh actions performed by racists against the innocent animals who just happen to fall victim. Unfortunately, extremely violent racist acts known as lynching most often lead to the death of the poor creatures, and it occurs much too often.
edit The Start of Racism
While racism became has existed for longer as any historian could possibly trace, the term wasn't actually coined until 1865. What was meant to be an inspirational speech from an American soldier to the public at the end of the Civil War ended up sparking what would later be known as the "Race War." During this speech, the soldier stated, "With this victory, we have made a positive stride forward for the peace and well-being of the entire human race." At this point, the term "human race" had never before been used, and many people were shocked at at the man's exclusion of other races. Because of this exclusion, the soldier was deemed the world's first "racist." Surrounded by controversy, the man later stated:
“I don't see any error in what I said. People everywhere eat meat every day. Meat comes from creatures of other races, and it always has. The human race, is, and will always be, the dominant race of the world.”
People everywhere were horrified at the realization that they had been killing innocent creatures, and quickly took vows to stop eating meat of any type. However, most people, unwilling to give up the delicious taste of meat, supported the man, and agreed that racism was reasonable, seeing as, like the soldier had said, "the human race was and always will be dominant in the world." Through this fierce argument, the Race War began.
edit The Spread of Racism
The racism became more and more noticeable. Non-human creatures were forced to eat, sleep, and relieve themselves in locations separate from the self-proclaimed "dominant" race. The creatures lacked many basic rights, such as running for office, voting, or marrying. Many buildings (including some government facilities) displayed incredibly racist signs, warning that all non-human creatures had to stay out of the building. All of these acts had been going on for centuries, but it wasn't until the start of the Race War that people began to notice.
It seemed that the longer the Race War waged on, the worse the racism became. In America, members of the Swine and Bovine races were gathered up in the thousands, occasionally tens of thousands, to be taken to slaughterhouses, where the innocent creatures were tortured and killed. Similar fates awaited the extensive poultry race, who were gathered up in the millions to be executed by the followers of notable racist Adolf "The Colonel" Kentucky. The Colonel not only killed the poultry (most of which consisted of Chicken-Americans), but he fried them, and served them worldwide as food. Fortunately, in 1890, the reign of The Colonel ended when he poisoned himself due to a suggestion that the "fried chicken" be replaced by an artificial meat substitute.
The rate of the lynchings increased dramatically in the early 1900's, when an extremely racist group know as the Kind Klone Kommunity (or KKK for short). This infamous human-supremacist group was known for their strange ghost-like outfits (the original members of the KKK were somewhat poor, and plain white material was affordable). The KKK has been one of the most influential racists groups in history. Their opposers are numbered in the millions. Even some pro-racism humans were offended by this kommunity, claiming that the color of the fabric was discriminating against darker skinned racists. A group of racists in Japan tried to solve this problem by dressing in all-black fabric, but lawsuits from the much-larger groups in Japan forced the removal of the blacks.
edit Protests Against Racism
In the mid-1900s, the Race War gained significance as Anti-racists and minorities everywhere began to revolt, both peacefully and non-peacefully. Some protesters took the calm route, choosing to march for their cause, or to simply use the human-only facilities. On November 18, 1956, a young calf was arrested and later eaten for entering a human bathroom, causing the violent movement to spark greater than it had before. Prisons began to fill up wildly as the angry minorities began to revolt. As the prisons reached their maximums, new, larger prison-like facilities were created. The facilities, known as zoos, were large, but rather than being put into many individual cells, the minorities were crowded into bigger fenced areas, and rather than being secluded, the criminals were put on display for the civilians to observe. The movement peaked in the 70s, when