User:Cheapinitreal/Tom O'Dell

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Tom O'Dell is the handsome gentleman who comes to the aid of the jackass in the following video. Tom is the undisputed king of the cutlery world and cutlery comedy. His late night weekend television program has made him one of the foremost knife, stabbing, and wholesale business names in the all of the godforsaken galaxy. From his humble beginnings, Tom overcame obstacle after obstacle, with nothing but his overwhelming love of blades, just to bring the passion and love for cold steel in a person's hand back once again. O'Dell has endured countless novice sales boys and sculpted them into the master swordsmen of the the late night infomercial galaxy. He has trained them to sell faster, sell harder, and kill the competition with a big fucking knife when ever possible.

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edit The Early years

Tom always exhibited an almost unnatural preordained knowledge of blades. See, O'Dell's mama died in the birthing process. Tom was a rather portly child and the poor women went into labor all by herself in a Tennessee barn. Tom sustained himself from within the comfort of his mother's corpse until the age of three. He'd plunge his face out her blossoming gash every now and then for air and had fashioned a makeshift nipple out of a piece of her kidney and attached it to her titty sacks for food. In those three years Tom crafted his first knife out of one of his dead mother's ribs and a steel plate in her hip. It was the first prototype of what would go on to be known as the Tomzilla bowie and it set Tom free on the world.

  • A life on the streets
  • His big break

edit The Jim Frost years

  • Learning how to sell knives
  • Losing their program
  • Starting fresh

edit A real American Hero

  • People love knives
  • Sometimes you just need to stab a fucker
  • Capitalism and Death the American way
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