From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
That's What I Am.
|Bow before your overlord|
|Religious Views||Staunch atheist with extremist tendencies, and a fanatical dislike of all adherents to that hateful Cult of Dianetics.
|Interests|| Euthanising fat people, Scientologists, or people who have hurt my feelings
|Aliases|| The Antichrist; Fuhrer of The Fourth Reich; Proletarian Revolutionary Leader; 27th Master of the Universe; The Physical manifestation of God on Earth; Doctor Death; The Second Messiah; The Enturbulator
|Motives|| The complete eradication of the Cult of Scientology from the face of this earth; World domination
|Born||Sodom, September 2nd, 1993
|Habitat|| Various maximum security mental asylums throughout Australia
|Affiliations|| Neo-Nazis; White Supremacists; Holocaust Deniers; The Republican Party; One Nation Party; British National Party; Third Position; Young Earth Creationists; Theosophists; Babylonian Brotherhood;
|Enemies|| 231 World Governments; Church of Scientology; Basically every proper religion; David Icke; Anyone who doesn't share in my fanatical hatred of Scientologists and Psychiatrists
|Victims|| 1000+ (Excluding unintelligent lifeforms, i.e. Scientologists)
|Conservation Status|| Should be extinct.
|Drug Of Choice||Lethal concoction affectionately known by me as "Speedball."|
Greetings humans. Welcome to my user page. Please feel free to look around this page and the other informative, insightful articles I have written. (Unless you're a scientologist, in which case I strongly advise you leave before I kill you...)
Basic Overview Of Myself
I am a very opinionated person, and as such, I have formulated much of my political, racial and religious beliefs in this random article. My ideology has five main thoughts which are as follows:
- Scientology is not a religion. It is an evil cult.
- An evil and fiendish Scientological conspiracy plans to take over the world and establish a "Fourth Reich." (Naturally I can't allow this travesty to occur becuase it will interupt my own plans for a Fourth Reich...)
- I am the physical manifestation of God.
- The Twilight series is almost comparable to Dianetics in its sheer crapness.
- Scientology is not a religion. It is an evil cult. Heil Xenu.
- See also: Enemies of The Church
“I believe that L Ron Hubbard is actually none other than Heinrich Himmler of the SS, who fled to Argentina, made his way to Australia, and is now responsible for the stealing of babies from hospitals and raising them as 'super-soldiers' for the purpose of overthrowing the Australian Fed. Govt. in a bloody revolution. I fear plans for a 'Fourth Reich' to be established on our home soil under the vice-like grip of oppression known as Scientology are already underway, and that it is only a matter of time before they rise up and kill us all!”
“The Scientologist is the enemy and destroyer of the purity of blood, the conscious destroyer of our race.”
Following my rejection from the Church Of Scientology, I have become a staunch hater of Scientologists, and everything they stand for. Was I not living in perpetual fear of the Taser-Monkey's that inhabit the sewers, I know I would have massacred thousands of the grovelling little b******s by now. I've actually written quite a few anti-scientological articles on this website, but because most of the administrators and readers of this website don't appreciate real literature, some of them have been deleted...
Basically, ever since the fall of Germany's Third Reich, adherents and sympathisers to the Cult Of Scientology (particularly in the U.S,) have been waiting behind the scenes for the right time to enact their bloody coup, which, if all goes in accordance with their plans, will see all the free peoples of planet Earth made into slaves, and life as we know it completely and utterly destroyed. Through use of media propaganda and business corporations, and by spying on citizens, this heretical group has gained control of both national and international interests and ideas, and if something isn't done soon, then it will be too late. Already the wheels for a Scientological takeover are in motion, but unless we act quickly and with firm resolute, the Scientologists may just manage to do what they have been waiting to do for the last 75 000 millenia; take control of the earth, and reduce the more far more intelligent lifeforms to slavery. If we are to be freed from the oppressive grip of tyranny of Scientology then we must preemptively rise up and slaughter all the dirty little bastards before they slaughter us. Forward my faithful inferior minions! Purge the enemies and destroyers of the purity of blood! A Jihad on L Ron Hubbard and his hateful cult!
Because of the critical stance I've taken towards The Church in basically all of my writing, and my being identified by them as a great threat to their plans for world domination, my chances of actually surviving 2009 are currently around the 1% mark. May my largely inevitable death at the hands of these monsters serve to further you in your resolve to destroy these creatures once and for all.
Political & Racial Beliefs
- See also: Nazis
Throughout my lifetime I have maintained a strong relationship with the White Nationalist organisation, and both the National Socialist and Republican parties. The White Nationalist organisations' ideas and theories on race have been described as being both racist and white supremacist in nature, but they are not in fact either of these things. These groups are merely seperatists, not supremacists, and their dream of having a "white nation", free from Untermensch subversion, and the parasitic Lebensunwertes Leben, is well justified in my opinion. I am not a racist, merely a realist.
I have always advocated a strong, centralised government, and have always taken steps to ensure that my family and I are free from the pernicious influence the Evil Cult of Dianetics. My righteous beliefs in the need to purify the Anglo-Saxon race have also led me to euthanise, or serioulsy injure, people that I have deemed to be racially inferior, subversive to the interests of this nation, or people that I have percieved burdens on the state.
I also believe this nation should become an autarkic totalitarian state, close its doors on all the Untermensch hammering at its sides, and focus more on boosting the population with pure, undiluted, Aryan stock. While my vision of an Aryan nation may ultimately entail the forcible removal of Germanic peoples from their countries and dumping them here, it's just something they'll have to put up with.
The British National party in the UK and the Republican party in the US are the only groups that truly understand the plight of these once great nations, which have since fallen into decay as a result of Untermensch subversion. The Republicans' ideas of providing tax cuts for the wealthy, and tax rises for less wealthy people in the country are, in my mind, completely logical.
“The worst danger is that we are interrupting the natural selection process ourselves by caring for the sick and the weak... The most far-sighted racial state in history, Sparta, systematically implemented these racial laws. And I intend to do the same as soon as I seize control of the state.”
Great Adolf, as I like to call Him, was a great man with great ideas, such as eugenic standards, incentives to improve the genetic quality of the Aryan people, and marriage loans to help qualified German families have a firm financial basis.
My own indubitably correct belief in the need to keep the "Aryan race" pure has led me on many occassions to euthanise disabled people, scientologists and foreigners, and sterilise those people with mental deficiencies or illnesses that I have perceived as being hereditary. Once my own eugenics purification programme (that I'll inevitably enact once I've made it into power) has been enacted and carried out, and
the Fourth Reich our glorious nation purged of these subversive untermensch groups (that for too long have maintained their stranglehold on ours, and the world's, economy!) we'll be able to usher in a new era of peace and prosperity; an era that should last 1000 years.
Also, the Holocaust is completely exaggerated, and completely blown out of proportion. As any intelligent individual would know, it was simply a very long and boring movie that brainwashed everyone that lived in that period.
- See also: List Of Beings Claiming To Be God
It has been said on may occassions that I have exhibited many signs of extreme megalomania, but believe me, I truly am the physical manifestation of God on Earth, amongst other things. If I am to one day pick this nation up, and pull it out of this depression, then I think a little bit of belief in myself would be necessary, if completely justified. And no, my writing of the book "The Mega-Pwnage Life Of Charles" is not in fact a manifestation of my megalomania, but simply an intelligently written piece of literature for those persipacious, learned people out there who want to learn about me and my soon-to-occur ascension as Grand Fuhrer of this nation. Proof of this is the fact that this witty book has in fact sold over 71 copies so far! And for you soi-disant "intellectuals" out there who think my book was the worst thing since Dianetics; yoor litewawry skillz pale inn compawison too mine!
- See also: Founders Of Whacked-Out Cults
“Let every soul be subject unto the higher power. For there is no power but of Me, The Charles: the powers that be are ordained of Me. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of Me: and they that resist shalt receive to themselves damnation.”
Initially I figured that the complete abortion of Christianity would suit my purposes of genocide and taking-over-the-government-ness very nicely, but as various great leaders have learnt to their cost, taking God away from the people only serves to piss them off. And so I came up with my own version of
circular reasoning Christianity, affectionately known by my imaginary supporters as "Charlist" Christianity.
No, Jesus was not in fact the son of God, (and I would know, seeing as how I am God...), and he wasn't Jewish either. Jesus in fact hated the grovelling Jews, and their Scientologist "friends," and strove to destroy them and their attempts at rising up and purging the humans. As would be expected with any piece of my
propaganda teachings, L Ron Hubbard, that hateful founder of Scientology, is in fact Satan, and yes, is was in fact a Judeo-Scientological conspiracy which resulted in the death of Jesus.
My religion may appear suspiciously similar in many of its ideals and money-making schemes to Scientology, (hey, a guys gotta make money!) but unlike Scientology, my
cult religion will only set you back a few hundred thousand dollars if you want to take its "scientifically proven" medical treatments, and learn its secrets.
Also, Scientologist propaganda is intentionally misleading in that it preaches that humans actually arrived on Earth 75 million years ago in giant space-faring DC-8's, (it was actually in 747's), and that it was Xenu that implanted humans with the R6 implant. (It was in fact L Ron Hubbard and the spirits of malevolent Scientologists that did this evil deed.) For the record, my religion condones the killing of suppressive persons like Scientologists. The bastards must all be purged!
Myself And Occultism
“He who doth not have the demonic seed within himself will never give birth to a magical world.”
Since I was born I have been associated with dark forces, the supernatural, secret societies, hidden powers, and even Satan, who is supposedly possessing me. Many members of the Catholic Church in fact believe that I am possessed by a demon, or am myself a demon. Father Gabriele Amorth, an exorcist of the Vatican was once heard to state: "... The Charles is possessed. All you have to do is think about what The Charles has done, and intends to do... Almost certainly he/it is possessed by a demon." Naturally I find this kind of talk offensive, and so I killed the Father in as brutal a fashion as possible. (I won't go into details, but rest assured, it involved piano wire, several spear-guns, hypodermic needles, a roasting spit, and scissors.)
The famous theosophist Alice Bailey was also under the strange notion that I am possessed by what she calls "Dark Forces." "Through The Charles, energies of the Antichrist have been released...". Given that in theosophism the Antichrist is not a living being, but a destructive force of energy, I justifiably felt angered. Naturally she had to die in even more gruesome a manner than my other victims, and eventually I was able to come up with something sufficiently painful.
Things Other People Have Said About Me
“I am so very sorry.”
“Throughout the vast shadowy world of ghosts and demons there is no figure so terrible, no figure so dreaded and abhorred, yet dight with such fearful fascination, as The Charles, who is itself neither ghost nor demon, but yet who partakes the dark natures and possesses the mysterious and terrible qualities of both.”
“And then god spake unto the world and said, thou shalt have a son, and it shalt Mega-Pwn you. And this son will be called The Charles, and it shall destroy all that you have to live for, and all that you could hope to achieve.”
“In the beginning, God created the heavens, the earth and The Charles, (the latter being created when some of gods armpit sweat mingled with his toe jam,) and thus the first and greatest evil entered the world”
“The Charles was corrupt in Gods sight and was full of violence. The Lord saw how great The Charles wickedness on the earth had become and that every inclination of the thoughts was of its heart was only evil all the time. And so The Lord said: "I will (attempt to) wipe The Charles (whom I accidentally created), from the face of the earth, for I am grieved that it has destroyed everything I have striven for." ”
“Repent! And thou shalt be- Aaaarggh!”
“In the beginning, there was only darkness. And within this darkness many people stumbled around in the dark and usually got a bruise in the head by walking into a wall. That is, until they discovered the light. There was one person who brought this holy light, and this person only could save the world. This one person had the power to change, the power to think, and the power to act. The Charles was definitely not this person.”
Articles I Have Been Blamed For (In Chronological Order)
- Affirmative Action Programme For The Mentally Retarded, (2008) (Which has since been huffed because it just might have negatively mentioned my current high school...)
- The Creature (2008) (This article is so damn long it isn't really worth reading. Any resemblance "The Creature" may bear with his creator is purely coincidental.)
- Churchlands Senior High School, (2008) (Which I had to rewrite because some f****** Scientologists objected to its anti-Scientology content.)
- A Visit To Your Door By Your Local Scientology "Charity" Fund Collector (2008) (Completely random s#^$. Again, not worth reading...)
- The Gozz (2008) (This article is TOTALLY NOT about a certain rotund and pompous individual who goes to my school, (and who actually turns out to be one of my best friends,) who won't otherwise deign to look upon my site unless I actually write an entire article on him...)
- UnBooks:Two Hours in the Life of a Psychopath (Idea: 2007, redone: (2008) (I actually wrote this article for English in year 9, calling it "Two hours in the life of Charles <XXXXX>," (I don't want to reveal my surname) but since I posted it here I've been patching up some of its more dodgy grammar to the extent that it is almost worth reading. (Not really, but hey.))
- The Scientology Test: Are You Gullible And Wealthy Enough To Become A Scientologist? (The Beta version is available here)
- Scientologist Empire
- Scientologists And Their Uses Who would've thought Scientologists could be so useful in so many different ways? Need to clear a mine field, test a new type of poison gas or poison, or test an experimental parachute? Not a problem- they may just be able to contribute something to society after all!
Articles I Haven't Written But Will Claim Credit Forcy:User:Charl3(s)
|This article needs to be expanded.|