From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
I hung out on this lame site called WikiHow for a while. I would contribute humorous responses to obvious joke questions like "How to Time Travel" or "How to Have Sex." One or two people actually liked me enough and one of them actually wrote a biography for me. This is thus my life story. Learn things I never even knew about myself.
Ebenezer Champthom is an award winning physicist in the field of inorganical nanobiology. At age 7, he built his own steamdriven calculator as a proof of concept that steam is good for things besides burning human skin. A mere two years later, he changed the course of his studies and focused more on writing musicals for the little-known Makali pygmee tribe of North-West Africa. Only one year later, receiving numerous awards from the Makali, he returned to his homeland Antarctica where he married a beautiful lady penguin and produced three wonderful eggs. Sadly, one of them was sadly misplaced and ended up in an English breakfast. The other two hatched to be bright young penguinboys each of which are struggling to find their place in this world full of discrimination against penguinpeople.
In his spare time he likes to read books about crop dusting, participate in inverse base-jumping (down to up) and do freelance astronauting. Not necessarily all at once. His single claim to fame came in the late seventies when he robbed three banks and donated all of the money publicly to the "cause for disadvantaged sealions". He claimed "not enough exposure is given to this tragically ignored group and (..) in the end our lives will depend on them". For this act of nobility he was Knighted by the British empire, Samuraid by the Japanese Empire, and Darth Vadered by the Sith Empire.
I have no affiliation with Sir Champthom and all information published here may be inaccurate, dubious or downright wrong. Everything published here is the product of careful research of my left thumb, and thinking what Sir Champthom might be like. He does not know me and I do not know him. I think he does not have any knowledge of me writing this biography and can therefore in no way be held responsible for it. Oh and maybe he's not really called Champthom.
a Nony Mouse