User:Celestialcat/Wallace and Gromit

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo9
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Celestialcat/Wallace and Gromit.
Wallace gromit qjpreviewth

Wallace and Gromit shortly after the invention of 'Bernard's Watch'.

Wallace and Gromit, an influential inventor and an anthropomorphic dog, are the result of an experiment that went horribly wrong. Their creator, Nick Park, is an evil scientist and cheese fanatic who created the pair using 4 parts Wensleydale, 2 parts Lincolnshire Poacher 1 part Byland Blue, his own DNA, bile and blood.

They were initially created by Park to complete Mission Wensleydale - a top secret MI5 assignment attempting to answer one of life's burning conundrums: Is the Moon made of cheese? The attempt was recorded in the 30 minute documentary A Grand Day Out. The mission was aborted after Park lost his telekinetic link with Wallace and, allegedly, the Moon was subsequently eaten. Obviously this has jeopardized the the duos standing as 'Ambassadors for Nice British People' - a title made up by the BBC.

Nick park

Scientist Nick Park holding cheese-crazed creation, Wallace

edit Wallace

Due to 'the incident' during his creation, Wallace can only survive on cheese (Wensleydale is preferable) and Yorkshire tea (in hard water areas only). He has an insatiable appetite for cheese much in the same way a zombie has an appetite for brains.

His passion for cheese was thought to be an advantage in completing 'Mission Wensleydale' as it was this passion that drove him and his companion Gromit to design and build hotpot#1, the space rocket that would take them to the Moon to bring back evidence of a cheese-based terrain. Disaster struck when the apetite for cheese became too strong and Wallace allegedly ate the moon. Coming out of the controversy that followed, and is to this day still continuing, Wallace and Gromit have gone on to invent a plethora of items. See 'inventions'.

edit Gromit

Gromit

Gromit before the removal of the mouth

“A dog who does not think for himself does not think at all.”

The brains of the operation, Gromit, seemed to gain all the intellegence as a result of 'the incident' during the creation. As soon as the first sparks of life began to flicker in the dog he began spouting the sonnets of Shakespeare, Newton's theory of relativity and a complete deconstruction of Descartes.

Fearing that the intelligence and potential moral integrity of the hound might compromise the mission, Park acted fast and removed the mouth rendering Gromit silent. He soon became used to using complex eyebrow movements, exaggerated hand gestures and body language to communicate.

edit The Moon Controversy

Moon2

The Moon as of 2005

“Not having a Moon is going to be a real problem.”

When the events of the mission where being revealed in the press, Gromit was at the forefront of the controversy of having allegedly eaten the Moon.

“Ay up! He's my special pal; my number one chum! But you know what these dogs are like, they'll eat anything...cracking cheese!”
~ Wallace

The allegations continued in the media. Park and Wallace on one side, Gromit on the other, until the day came that Gromit was able to sucessfully communicate though eyebrow movements his version of events. He pointed out that it would have been impossible for him to have eaten the moon on account of him having no mouth. It would seem Park and Wallace had overlooked this detail when compiling their case against. The matter was settled amicably in court with Gromit being made sole executor of the 'Wallace and Gromit' franchise.

In the meantime a temporary Moon was installed containing the soul of Vincent Blanc of The Mighty Boosh fame made entiely from cream cheese. At this troubling time at least one thing was certain - the Moon was now, and always had been, made of cheese.

edit Inventions

“Neccessity is the second cousin twice removed of invention”
Personal tools
projects