User:Cat the Colourful/Cristh-o-fobia
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edit The History
“ Are you Christ?”
“ No! ”
“I am ”
“But who is that guy sitting over there? ”
“Oh, you do not have to worry about him. He is just Oscar Wilde ”
Christ-o-fobia (known too as "Jesus syndrome" or "GODOCD") is a terrible fobia-typed disease, that you can get if you read too much bible. Christ-o-fobia is a disease, that makes people go nuts, and then kill themselfs. Christ-o-fobias are from Middle-Ages, when a ship full of rats came to England from Japan, the land of rising fobia. Because the Middle Age-folks werent get the idea about rat-trap, the rats had a perfect timing. Christ-o-fobia started to go nearly everywhere with in the rats, and no one were save from this terrible fobia. After 500 hundred years later, when
8 million of people had died Great Television had maked, this fobia keeps running and running, still! No one is save... Not even you... Buahahahaha...
edit The Signs
So, after 500 hundred years later, this fobia is still alive! If you have any thoughts that maybe you have it, look these Signs. If something of these fits to you, you better be careful...
- Christ-seeing This is the first diagnostic on Christ-o-fobia. After that you get this, you start to see Christs everywhere, until you kill yourself. If you dont kill yourself, you can broke you family totally. Think about it for a while. When your mom (or your dad) comes to give you goodnight-kiss, (okay, not dad) you start to scream:
“ AAARGHH!!! CHRIST PLEASE DONT TAKE ME AWAY!!! ”
- Food-fear This comes after you obtain (or something) Christ-seeing. This one is one of the scariest moods of Christ-o-fobia. When someone give pizza, you start thinking, like: "Hmm... This is my last pizza... After this i die..." When you have thinked bit longer, you understand everything, and you scream:
“ Oh My God! This is my last pizza!!! AAARGHHH!!! CHRIST PLEASE DONT TAKE ME AWAY!!!”
edit So, you have the Christ-o-fobia...
...and we dont care. Hey, its not our problem, or is it?!! ... What? I have to? Well... We can give some things to help you, but this isnt really our problem...
- Burn your Bibles - It helps someone, but it doesnt help anyone. If you are priest, it can help you, but it doesnt really matter when an angry group of angry grandmas woke up from theyre daynaps in Church, and then they come and kill you because you woke them up with youre stupid lightshow! Think again!
- Go and kill yourself - Then youre misery will end, so... Why not?
- Become a Satanist - Actually, this is a pretty a good idea... Youre Christ-o-fobia will end, but laugh again when you have Satan-o-fobia! Nice!
- Become a Jewish - You dont ever try to guess... You gonna have a Jew-o-fobia...
- Become a Cannibal - ...What? Cannibal-o-fobia?
- Start vandalize Wikipedia - If nothing before works, this MUST work! Its so relaxing, and when you do it, you can feel that you are one of them! A long-waited contributor!