User:Un-Cat Lover

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 18:51, May 21, 2007 by (talk)

Jump to: navigation, search

That ain't Cat Lover.


This definetly ain't Cat Lover.

Cat Lover is one of America's Most Unwanted. He is the inventer of the HARV and is the stalker of Erwin Rommel. He is the Village idiot of Neo-America. Many have claimed that he was also the true second leader of Berlinlandstan and that neither Jake Featherston nor Robert E. Lee were ever it's leader, but they were wrong. Cat Lover is in fact, none other than the bastard son of Adolf Hitler.


Commander Industries

The late dentarthurdent

Closer, but still not Cat Lover.

Who me

Still not Cat Lover.

Cat Lover started a company in 1942-2 (aka. 1940) that worked on developing a device called EVASYS. It lead to a lot of causilties, and people began to loath him. An increasingly large number of people attempted to assassinate him, so he invented the HARV, an incredibly dangerous weapon. The company manufactured 10 HARVs before taking them off the market.



No, that's Mr. T, not Cat Lover; Cat Lover once said, however, that Mr. T wasn't in the secret Headquarters of Minitrue.

The re-stealthier was a device that blocked signals from getting to an EVASYS, meaning you could hide from radar. However, you couldn't see anyone else, either. Eventually, everyone who was annoyed with this glaring fault turned to a life of crime. The fact most of the people became rapists made Cat Lover to create the Counter-Rape Intelegence Agency.

The Counter-Rape Intelegence Agency

Main article: Joint efforts between Berlinlandstan and Neo-America

Conspiracy Theories

Cat Lover has been suspected to have some role in various conspiracsies.

Cat Lover <-> Berlinlandstan

Several people have theorized that Cat Lover was the true second president of Berlinlandstan, but cocaine can make anything ture. After it was found that Jake Featherston was the true son to Erwin Rommel, Cat Lover was put on trial. Mysteriously, the charges were dropped. Well, actually, no, not mysteriously; it was George S. Patton who said that, and the Berlinlandstein jurors just mis-understood. Wait, there is no Berlinlandstein.

The Society Of The Not-Not-Gay Bashers

Gay choir

Cat Lover missed that; he said he attended the straight choir that night.

Several people such as Rosie O'Donnell, Bill Cliton, and Jack Thompson have accused Cat Lover of being part of the Not-Not-Gay Bashers Society. They claim that several facts support their claims:

  • Cat Lover does have Crabs
  • Cat Lover is gay
  • Cat Lover mysteriously disappears every weekend and is found in a certain mountain.

In fact, a trial was held, and was found guilty on 1 count of possession of Spongebob underwear, 1 count of rainbow badges, and a final count of sleeping with cowboys. He was sentenced to life on death row(aka. drop'd da soap).

Goverment Leaks

Headquarters of Minitrue

Ryugyong hotel

Cat Lover once said the Headquarters of Minitrue was in Pyongyang, North Korea.

“I just flew back from a meeting at the Secret Headquarters of Minitrue in Pyongyang, North Korea and boy are my arms tired.”
~ Cat Lover on the secret location of the Secret Headquarters of Minitrue

For leaking the location of the secret location of the Secret Headquarters of Minitrue, Cat Lover was highly criticed. In a court trial, he pleaded "Guilty, but unfit to serve time". The judges didn't care and he was sentenced to another life on death row (aka. the usual).

Secret Neclear Base

Not so secret

It's literal name is "Secret Nuclear Base."

“So we just keep going straight to get to the White House. Oh, and to your right is the Secret Nuclear Base.”
~ Cat Lover on the public location of the Secret Nuclear Base

Cat Lover was highly critized by the ACLU for leaking the location of the base, despite the information they themselves leaked to the New York Times that included:

  • The USA's battle plans
  • The USA's designs for the atomic bomb
  • The design for bullets that break the locks off doors.

However, it was Cat Lover's Secret Nuclear Base that he kept in the United States for safe keeping. Infact, it's whole name is The Pubic Base "Secret Nuclear Base," thus making the leak more of an advertisement.

American State Prison-Hotels

“I stayed at [an American] state Prison-Hotel last night! ”
~ Cat Lover

Cat Lover was sentenced to be hung by Jake Featherston. Instead, Jake blew his brains out. Cat Lover died instantly.

Personal tools