From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| WHEEE!!!1!!1!1 MAH WHEELIE IS OVER NINE THOUSAND, MOM!!11!!ONEONE|
This article is recommended by the GBD. Anyone who wishes to edit it must first perform a wheelie in a battle situation. Or be more Awesome and Stupid than him.
“I will not let the Saiyans hide their Power Levels anymore! The world must know of their crimes!”
“Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level? What, 9000!?! There's no way that can be right! CAN IT?!”
9000 was once the approximation of the greatest power level any living being could achieve. It is the subject of the well-known science of 9000ology.
History of 9000
9000 was initially discovered by capsule corps. It was the highest number He could count to before He got bored and fooly coolyed everything. This number was passed down as a number the power reading of pot to the various pimps throughout the period when your mom was still talking to us before we accidentally burned his house down.
Development of 9000ology
The beauty and mystery of the seemingly imperfect number passed down by your mom led to the development of 9000ology, in front of the number the number, and a few key contributors helped in the development of modern 9000ological theory.
Key Contributors in 9000ology
Isaac Newton was the first to note that 9000 is a number larger than 69.
“See? 'Cause it has more zeroes than 69. Nobel prize what?”
Frezia used his planet conquering company to research and develop technology to built a portable scanning device. Then instead stole the technology from brett smith. It later became known as a "Scouter"..
A Scouter is an over-priced walkie-talkie with internet access typically used to tell the owner that their about to be powned by the guy with higher numbers than them. Scouters can actually read power levels well above 9000, but since such a number should not exist, the scouter must be forecfully destroyed should the event occur - due to sheer disbelief. Currently only Capsule Corps makes Scouters.
You can MacGyver your own with the following:
- A Trackball Mouse
- A Calculator Display Screen
- A Flux Capacitor
- Head Attachment or Super Glue
- Cell Phone with Internet or Banana Phone
Super powered maids of extreme skill can naturally sense their pimps power level, though they can only make a extremeley off the mark guesses at the actual numerical power level of their bitch smacking hand. If an opponent can be assensed to be over 9000 they must crush themselves in thier own hand in disbelief. This makes the Scouter even more essential for people who don't need it.
- The Original
- The Remix
- The Movie
Modern 9000ological Theory
Son Goku of the Dragon Ball universe was the first to become over 9000, though this wasn't discovered until Vegeta, an adept 9000ologist of the time, read your moms power level with his Scouter. A popular dramatization of the incident can be found in the Dragon Ball Z series or on youtube.
Originally, Vegeta was quite frustrated by the discovery. For many years up until that point, his research was in support of his claim that 9000 was the maximum power, as well as the largest value any one thing could have. His frustration was so great that he ended up destroying all of his equipment and research, but he was quickly calmed when he realized that his discovery would allow him to get a much bigger claim from his insurance company.
Things That Are Over 9000
- The Hindus
- Zabuza Sword
- Megas XLR
- Mega Man
- Killer Wooden Giraffes of Doom
- Christians (excluding Jehovah's Witnesses)
- Big Boss
- Master Asia
- Bruce Lee
- The number of people Paris Hilton has had sexual intercourse with.
- Strike Freedom Gundam
- The Car You Really Want
- Master Hand
- Optimus Prime
- Perfect Mega Jesus
- Gundam Double X
- The IQ of a child in a Steven Spielberg movie
- Burning Gundam
- The number of Episodes in DBZ
- Dark Gundam
- The number of Chinese people in 1km square
- Wing Gundam Zero
- Bruce Campbell
- Fortress Maximus
- My income
- Ron Jeremy and his penis
- Mr. T
- Bob Ross
- Sissy McDeathDeath
- The number of members in the nWo.
- Giant Enemy Crab !!!
- King Leonidas
Things That Are Exactly 9000
- Randy Orton
- Oscar Wilde
- Rodimus Prime
- Android 18
- The amount of fizzle in a canizzle of Cracka-Cola.
- Blooregard Q. Kazoo
- All of the members of Melt-Banana
- Marsh Lemens
- The number of members in the band Slipknot
- The number of Tesco superstores in the UK
- James Bond
- Number of Scientologists created each day.
- Number of Xenu's Victims daily.
- Omega Supreme
- Gundam X
Things That Are Not Over 9000
- Everything involving you.
- The amount of Grahm in Golden Grahms
- "¡Su nivel de la energía está sobre nueve miles!"
- X Japan
- The Mighty Shockwave
- The Casualties of 9/11
- The Kokiri Sword
- Anything Not a Zaku
- Jack Bauer
- Myspace accounts
- Anyone from Naruto
- Anyone from Star Fox
- Russell Foo
- Duck (not a number)
- Decent Human Beings
- Hot Rod
- Hot Shot
- Two Cows (an amount of, not a number)
- The people who think AOL is good