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Last evening, I was to attend the opening of Chef Leopold's latest restaurant, ZOMG. This had all the appearance of being this city's finest new Finno-Japanese fusion restaurants, and I had high hopes of giving it my best rating ever - three out of five.
Alas, the restaurant in question was sadly burned down by the mafia. I gather that Chef Leopold had some difficulties paying back his illicit bookmaker, and is now hanging from a meathook somewhere having been murdered al Siciliana.
But this is all by the by. What is important is that I was left with nowhere to eat or review. Granted I am one of this city's most influential critics, but even so where was even I to get a table at the very last minute? Possibly only at Chez Saigon, with its depresingly conventional spice mixtures.
Then out of the blue, I espied a restuarant with several empty tables, and decided to try my luck. My luck was in indeed! This restaurant, McDonalds provided one of the finest dining experiences of my life!
The first thing to strike the eye at McDonalds is the lighting. Eschewing the standard practice of so many restaurants nowadays, the lighting in McDonalds is incredibly bright. So bright in fact that I was able to read one of my own articles, to my lasting regret.
The furnishings of McDonalds are designed to create the brilliantly realised illusion of industrial utilitarianism. "Look beneath the surface!" the tables seemed to shout, "this