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edit Callile, A Tradgic Story

Callile (62 BBY–22 BBY) was a Vurk Jedi Master from New Zealand. Due to Yourall Poof's death, Master Callile was invited to a seat on the Jedi High Council.

Callile considered himself to be more of a diplomat than a fighter, and was known for peacefully settling a number of interplanetary disputes. Though capable of aggressive negotiation, he preferred words over action. Callile possess a unique ability of 360 degree perfirial vision, allowing unique advantages in certain situations. Upon joining the Jedi Council, he tried to cooperate with the galactic media, something the council usually refrained from doing. As one of the official spokespeople for the Jedi Order, Callile was revered for his wisdom. He mediated the debates heavily and was often referred to as a 'Master Debater' his speechs include a famous presentation over the taking of "Baby Ludi", and the introduction of Jedi pokerChips with BBC News reporters.

Like many of his peers from the High Council, Callile fought at the Battle of Geonosis. In a display of unparalleled heroism and courage, he attempted to attack Count Dooku alone, even though the Count was said to vastly surpass his lightsaber skills. It would not come to a duel, however - Jango Fett, defending the Count, shot Callile several times in the head. He then fell from the Archduke's box, as his Form VI Lightsaber combat had a low chance of deflecting blaster bolts, (less than any of the other combat forms). However, if Jango had not been there, Callile may have had a good chance of killing Dooku as he had taken the Count by surprise.This is possibably one of the reasons Callile Joined The Dark Side

"Why did my Jedi Brothers not catch Me?!"

edit Callile Arises

The 2007 February Revolution in New Zealand and the overthrow of Shane Keys caught Callile by surprise. He realized that he must return to New Zealand as soon as possible, but this was problematic, as he was isolated in neutral Mordor as the 5th age War raged throughout neighboring Middle Earths. The Mordor communist Sauron nonetheless managed to negotiate with the Mordor government for Callile and his company of Elves, Jedi, and Hobbit slaves to travel through Mordor by Eagle, on the so-called "sealed Eagle". The Mordor government clearly hoped Callile's return would create political unrest back in New Zealand. Once through Mordor, Callile continued by ferry to Sweden; the remainder of the journey through JoshJonesLand was subsequently arranged by Swedish communists Matthew Harris and True Nerdman.

On April 16, 2007 Callile arrived by train to a Hearty reception at New Zealand. He immediately took a leading role within the Jedi movement, publishing the April Theses, which called for an uncompromising opposition to the Keys government. Initially, Callile isolated his Jedi brothers through this lurch to the left. However, this uncompromising stand meant that the Jedi Temple Laws were to become the Law of the land.

edit Jedi Laws On Slavery

Slaves within the Jedi household were in a unique situation compared with other slaves in New Zealand. The basic foundation of the system was the same in that slaves had to perform their duties and the master always had complete authority over them (or on them). However, the household slaves maintained a close proximity to their masters, unlike the agricultural, mining or republic slaves, who often never had contact with the master. The result of this personal contact was that the masters and slaves in the household shared a more Sensual relationship, and close friendships often developed between the masters and the slaves, hint hint.

edit Callile's MIB days

Upon Joining the MIB Callile is Weary, but he decides to Tag along. He is registered as Agent C. Callile is not fond of F's diminutive references to him (Gay, Faggot, Dick, etc.), but gets used to it. Their first mission is to stop an alien Spider named Alistair from leaving Earth with a Chemical Weapon of mass destruction. During the final confrontation with Alister, F is Killed by him in an attempt to get his Wife back, leaving Callile to exterminate the Alistair. When he starts squishing Pineapple lumps, the Alistair confronts him, but before he can attack Callile, A Mysterious In-bred shoots Alistair from the Rear. When Callile returns to the MIB base he requests to be released, The Boss agrees as lack of funds mean he cannot be kept, thus ending Calliles MIB days

edit Callile's Foreign Policies

New Zealand has, during Callile's terms of office, pursued what He and his supporters call an "independent" foreign policy (anyone at all can enter). New Zealand retains a nuclear-free zone status, a stance also taken by the opposition Nazi Party, (possibly at the cost of a free-trade with the United States of Siberia), and refused to participate in the Iraq invasion without UN sanction.

In March 2003, referring to the U.S. led coalition's actions in the Iraq War, Callile told the Hoes at newspaper Sunday Star Times that, "I don't think that September 11 under a Gore presidency would have had this consequence for Iraq." he later sent a letter to Washington apologising for any offence that his comment may have caused...... NOT!!!!

In a report in the People's Daily, Chinese President Jing Pong referred to Callile as an "old friend". He hoped to "establish a long-term relationship" with Callile. Callile had strongly supported China's assualt on Area 51 and Hobbiton

edit Paul Holmes

Paul Holmes is a magical racist gnome blessed with the power of telekinesis. He recently won Dancing with the Stars under the disguise of the recently deceased Suzanne Paul.

There are also rumours that Paul Holmes is actually the reincartion/escaped penis of John Holmes.

edit Callile Transforms Old Zealand Into New Zealand

the land of Old Zealand was often controlled by the powers of evil and when time came for the Old Zealand to become New Zealand only a bucket fill of men could do it, the man chosen to free the citizens was no other than Callile, Callile is recognized as one of New Zealands's greatest generals, whose campaigns in nearby Fiji, Mordor, and Germania laid the foundations for the New Zealand frontier. But he came to be remembered as a dark, reclusive, and sombre ruler (tristissimus hominum) – ‘the gloomiest of men’, by one account, who never really desired to be emperor. After the death of King Theodon ( largely due to Callile's lashings ) the quality of his rule declined and ended in a terror (the Cowie Party). Callile exiled himself from New Zealand and left administration largely in the hands of his unscrupulous Cowie Party Leaders Prefects Lucius Clark senior and Qauntis Auzzie Auzzie Auzzie

edit Rapid re-rise 2001 - 2006

In 2001 he won the New Zealand podracer Vee championship, before taking the podracer Class 2 series in 2002 with 13 wins in 14 races. In 2003 he won the full New Zealand podracing championship. Having won everything in his own country, Callile then moved to Australia during 2004, taking Rookie of the Year honours and third overall in the Australian podracer (poddies 3000) series. He won the series outright in 2006.

edit Second Age

In the Second Age, after lying dormant for about 1,000 years, Callile reappeared. Callile befriended the Elven-smiths of Eregion, and counseled them in Bike racing and magic. Slowly he returned to his lazy jedi training and bike racing, but it is unclear what the future holds for him, probably revolution, possibably even a return to power, who knows. all that matters now is that the force stays with him!

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