“"Towel Saturation Occurs when using a particular towel to dry your hands will actually make your hands smell worse than before you washed your hands. This indicates the towel needs to be washed" - From "Towel Saturation"
“Oh-o say can you see! By the don-zerly light! Bombs burning in air! What-so something something, something flag was still there! Oh-kay does the bar strangled daaa-aancer still waay-ay-ay-ave...and the hooooooome! Of the! Braaaave!” ~ Forum:Letterman/Palin
23:58, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (Replacing a page with 'Hey uncyclopedians, edit this please' is basically the same thing as replacing it with 'Hey uncyclopedia admins, ban me please.' Talk pages are your friend. Blanking is not.)
Those of you who aren't still reeling from the ingenuity and wit contained in the title for this story are just the kind of humour-hating Nazis who are killing this place, one "witty" article at a time, who will, naturally, have noticed that the logo has undergone a design change. This change came after several of our power hungry administrators noticed the shadowing on the old logo. Not noticed the shadowing on the old logo yet? Well head straight to the image page and look at the shadowing on the old logo. We here at the UnSignpost are utterly gobsmacked that we lived and indeed loved alongside such shoddy work, just look at the shadowing! The more you look the angrier you become; it's incredible, just what the hell was Rcmurphy thinking when he created the shadowing on the old logo!?
Of course this is all untrue, the old logo is basically fine but the new one suggests that we aren't all the ten-thumbed Orangutans that <insert name here> is and that we might know something about cricket and opera. In other words, its beauty and three dimensions hide the depressing truth and, according to Dr. Skullthumper, will probably cure AIDS and bring peace to the Middle-East as well. The creator of the brand new logo is none other than Lyrithya, who wasn't available for comment at the time of going to press, but would probably would want to say something about how she owes everything to ChiefjusticeDS. A quick scan of the forum reveals only one forum topic about the new logo, making it about ten times more popular than Wikia and Jesus combined.
The other interesting development is also the development of some kind of new skin for the wiki which is presently being flaunted on a forum and on your gadgets page where you can tick a box to experience it for yourself, just like voting really. This is once again courtesy of Lyrithya, someone who just doesn't take "Meh" for an answer.
The general opinion of the community regarding these changes is difficult to gauge, especially if you don't read any of the forum topics. Speaking anonymously, Mhaille expressed doubts about Vector, stating that the changes were "Only skin deep," but said that any discussion over which was better was "Just plain racist".
Those of you who have heard of Rate Your Admins (or RYA if you wear sunglasses inside) need not read this story; simply scroll back to the top, read the right hand column and ask again just how does that sexy admin do it. Which segues us neatly onto the thrust of this story: Frosty has revived the original RYA, a system by which users would give the active admins a score out of ten on various categories and then the admins would have a reason to get up the next day. The new system is very similar to the old one, exactly the same, some would say, and all it needs is your contribution. The UnSignpost spoke to Sockpuppet of an unregistered user about RYA and he said "I once killed a man," but don't let that put you off; he's actually really well-adjusted.
Voting couldn't be simpler. You just go to the page of the relevant admin and then you click edit (with us so far?) then you put zero in every box and press save. Don't worry; the chances of them knowing where you live are extremely remote so it's literally consequence-free, almost.
23:49, May 31, 2011, Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months (it takes a certain talent to write that much about someone who apparently sucks so badly)
12:38, May 26, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days (I'd ask you to cease all twattery but then you'd have nothing to do all day.)
03:15, May 30, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Frosty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a gomphog (Stealing Gomphog's subpages. Reportedly.)
07:12, May 30, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Tayythunder (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (Blanker: Being racist against templates...)
15:21, May 27, 2011 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 hour (Take a break and read HTBFANJS Just calling everyone gay is... Gay? Be more creative eh?)
13:43, June 1, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) (Being Zombiebaron a little bit too much)
Biopic of the Week
Now I don't know about you, but Cat the Colourful is a name I have seen quite a lot, but in the same way I see grass quite a lot. What I mean by this is that he/she/it is always there, pottering away in the background. While everyone else fights and brawls over the correct font for the main page, Cat the Colourful is there voting on an article, making thoughtful additions to an article, uploading pictures of rabbits killing themselves and generally being helpful.
This is the part of the biopic where I normally complain about the users annoying habits, and this week is no exception; you know what I really hate about Cat the Colourful? It's his signature, there's a picture in it and colours. A stupid username about being a colourful cat with colours in it? His signature should be black, that would be funny because it isn't colourful at all! No? Well con-cat-ulations Cat the Colourful... I'M WITTY DAMMIT!
From the Editor
Every week we receive literally no feedback on the UnSignpost. But last week Lollipop complained that we had not covered all the big news of the week. So, in order to please him and his imaginary friend Alex, Tom Mayfair and MrN9000 have also made edits to the wiki after not doing so for a while. I hope that satisfies Lollipop in the way a woman never will... for free at least.