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Now let's do things properly shall we? Note the guy second from the left is clearly breaching protocol, and he is likely to have his balls cut off..

This is a short long guide for PEEING Attendings and above on how to update User:Cajek/Pee, the ultimate review nerd's paradise!

edit Daily maintenance (except weekdays, bank holidays and weekends)

If you see an unjudged, completed pee in the queue, these are the steps for changing the holy list of Pee.

edit Step 1: Judge the review

In order to update the list properly, you need to know if a review is "in-depth" or not. Genrally, this means it conforms to UN:PRG, has at least a paragraph in each section, is nice to the reviewee, is signed at the bottom by ChiefjusticeDS and is otherwise generally helpful. Remember your decision for later.

edit Step 2: Edit the user stats

Check to see if the user is already on one of the four checking tables on the page (Old Proletariat, Peeing Proletariat, PEEING members (Fresh Stains) or PEEING members (Steel Kidneys/Captains)). If they are on the "old proletariat" table, you'll need to cut them out of it and add them to the current proletariat table, including all the scores, dates and hidden flirty conversations between the list-checkers. (Or just wait for UU to do it (surely it will be 2008 again soon, right?)).

Click edit on the section (Peeing Proletariat, PEEING members (Fresh Stains) or PEEING members (Steel Kidneys/Captains)) that corresponds to the reviewer (for example, for a Zombiebaron review, you would edit Peeing Proletariat, for a DJ Irreverent review, PEEING Members (Fresh Stains), and for a UU special it would be PEEING Members (Steel Kidneys/Captains). Who are these people, you ask? They're the ones who died so you could be reviewing today Sonny Jim; show some respect!

Next, search the code for the line of this reviewer. It should look something like this:

|Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Please don't huff this article ChiefjusticeDS!|2/8|=

The first box relates to the reviewer's activity, the two most common things to put here are "lazy" for those who never review and "dangerously addicted" for those few who do. Feel free to put anything here (except that, you dirty bugger).


What I envision when someone pees my article. Can you, young reviewer, make my dream a reality?

The second box signifies whether or not the reviewer is in the Top 10 reviewer list, which is probably explained later (unless my sanity continues to deteriorate as it is now and I don't get to that). Just a simple "yes" or "no" will do here, depending on the truth.

Then it's the reviewer's name, the number of total reviews and the number of in-depth reviews. These numbers will have to be updated when you check a review, so if PuppyOnTheRadio has done two reviews, one of which was in-depth, you add 2 to total reviews and 1 to in-depth reviews. Or, to put it in a more complicated way, add the new number to the first column, then subtract the total amount of in-depth reviews from the first column to get the figure for the new amount of in-depth reviews (you follow?) Then add this number to the second column, and Robert's your mother's brother!

Then there is a big bunch of numbers with plus signs between them; these are all the scores this reviewer has ever given. By Zeus, look at all those 20s. What have you got to do to get a 33 from this guy - take him out back and give him a 0 for miscellaneous, if you know what I mean? Anyway, you have to add the score for the review you're checking at the end of the sum. Sorry, I used the S-word. Don't worry though, the computer (also known as Lyrithya) will add these up for you.

Finally, whack the name of the review in the second-to-last box and today's date in the last one (yes, that's what those weird numbers are supposed to be). Scroll to the bottom and add those last three things yet again into another table, then press preview, not save.

edit Step 3: Take a break, maybe read a book

Oh, I recommend absolutely anything by HP Lovecraft. Except Herbert West: Re-animator, that was poo.

edit Step 4: The Top 10 (and the Top 5)

The Top 10 table looks like this, and smells rather similar too:

|1||[[RotM|√]] {{u|ChiefjusticeDS}}||align="center"|189||align="center"|189||align="center"|{{%|189|189}}
|2||[[RotM|√]] {{u|Under user|UU}}||align="center"|133||align="center"|132||align="center"|{{%|132|133}}
|3||[[RotM|√]] {{u|Black flamingo11}}||align="center"|101||align="center"|101||align="center"|{{%|101|101}}
|4||[[RotM|√]] {{u|Hyperbole}}||align="center"|96||align="center"|95||align="center"|{{%|95|96}}
|5||[[RotM|√]] {{u|Saberwolf116}}||align="center"|97||align="center"|91||align="center"|{{%|91|97}}
|6||[[RotM|√]] {{u|Gerrycheevers}}||align="center"|89||align="center"|82||align="center"|{{%|82|89}}
|7||[[RotM|√]]  {{u|Lyrithya}}||align="center"|79||align="center"|78||align="center"|{{%|78|79}}
|8||[[RotM|√]] {{u|Orian57}}||align="center"|77||align="center"|75||align="center"|{{%|75|77}}
|9||[[RotM|√]]  {{u|Mnbvcxz}}||align="center"|75||align="center"|73||align="center"|{{%|73|75}}
|10||[[RotM|√]] {{u|PuppyOnTheRadio}}||align="center"|69||align="center"|66||align="center"|{{%|66|69}}

The ticks represent RotM winners. To update, just add the numbers for the review(s) you've just checked. The first and last numbers represent total reviews, and the second and third are in-depth reviews. Ties should be represented as follows (or sorted out via a game of swingball (best two out of three)):

|{{u|Lyrithya}} '''/''' [[RotM|√]] {{u|Lyrithya's Hideous Larvae}}||20 '''/''' 18||18||align="right"|{{%|18|20}} '''/''' {{%|18|18}}

The "Current Month" table is looked after in the same way, except it's for the current month only (yeah, cryptic, I know), so needs to be checked more regularly. Check how many reviews each person has done this month (can be checked in the maintenance box quite easily -Ed: it's really not that simple Cajek) and add them or update them as necessary.

edit Step 5: The maintenance box

This allows the other people who check this daily to see which reviews have been checked. Simply add a line at the top of the box in this format:

::*<s>[[Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Naked Trigonomics]] by MrN9000.</s> [Comment on review here] ~~~

Congratulations, you have checked a review into Cajek's list. For understanding this HowTo, you may now request express membership into MENSA, and are cordially invited round for tea at UU's house! Better get there before Black flamingo eats all the biscuits though.

edit Other maintenance

edit RotM

Each month a new reviewer is voted Reviewer of the Month. If they are on the Top 10 list, this is signified by a √ sign that links to RotM before their name. This is usually sometimes rarely updated on the first of the month by whoever happens to archive RotM.

edit Maintenance archive

The maintenance box is archived roughly monthly, in the format User:Cajek/Archive*. It is normally just a quick cut-and-paste job into the new page with {{Archive}} stuck on top. In other words, someone else will do this.

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