User:Cadarado425/Princess Leia

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edit North Vegas, and a fat hooker

Babyleia
Who knew that this would become such a sex icon?
Leia Amidala Organa, aka Organisia Ama Layinthatass, Is the illigitimate love child of George Lucas and a hooker named "Fat Ethel". She was born in the basement of a North Vegas burlesque house called "Pappa Johns", in 1917. Her mother Fat Ethel contacted the childs father about his newborn daughter, but Lucas wanted nothing to do with her. He sarcasticly answered her with, "Look whore, if I cared about her, I'd make a movie about her". Leia's mother decided to raise the child by herself, anyway, lactating tits are highly tipped. So the enormous stripper began breast feeding Leia until the child was 17, where by then Leia was breast feeding onstage. The two made a fortune from it. People came from all over the world to see the fat middle-aged hooker being suckled by a teen in cheerleading uniform. Shortly after her 18th birthday, her mother died of choking on an ovarian tumor she was snacking on, while on-stage. Leia decided after the bouncers buried her mothers fat bloated corpse in the desert, to leave Papa Johns.
VaderStormies
Leia's bouncers took a strict approach with regard to boyfriends


edit Post teen years, Boba Pimp

Without the constant "mother daughter rutine" income, Leia quickly found herself on the streets of Vegas where she was picked up by a young pimp named Boba. Boba had reconized Leia from the many years that she had sucked on hookers tits and saw a bright future in the young girl. Boba had a buddy that was a welder at a motercycle shop, make a custom bikini for Leia. With this new wardrobe, and many years on-stage, Leia would be know as one of the most expensive escorts the little town of Las Vegas would ever see.
Leia and pimp
Princess Leia, and her pimp

Boba's income tripled within the first three nights that Leia work. It seemed that word had spread across the nation of a young titty-suckin, metal bikini wearing girl, was now for rent. After two weeks of work, Leia was sent to the hospital to abort 16 fetuses. After this, Boba made the decision to have Leia's uterus removed to halt any more future problems.

Leia's price list

  • Meeting you at your door, yet staying 4 feet away----$150,000
  • Shakeing hands---------------------------------------$200,000
  • Walking into your room-------------------------------$275,000.25
  • Sitting down for a romantic dinner-------------------$345,000
  • Being seen in public with you------------------------$500,000
  • Holding hands and listening to you speak-------------$669,000.04
  • Going back to your place for a "night cap"-----------$875,000
  • Seeing you naked-------------------------------------$976,000
  • Nude-------------------------------------------------$976,999.99....... with coupon
  • Sucking tits-----------------------------------------$977,000
  • Cunning Lingus---------------------------------------$977,999,99........with coupon
  • Asslicking-------------------------------------------$978,000
  • Felaciao---------------------------------------------$990,000....add $1 per sperm cell for swallowing
  • Vaginal penetration--------------------------------$1,000,000
  • Anal-----------------------------------------------$1,500,000
  • Ass to mouth---------------------------------------$2,000,000
  • Acting like she enjoyed it...................................................................Priceless
Leia
That's $13,390,000.27 for a night....twice if your me

edit Expansion of "Boba Industries"

After millions apon millions of dollars that kept rolling in, Boba, overcome by greed, shot himself in a motel room, one cold December night in 1973, Leaving Leia to his only son, his father Jango Pimp, OB-GYN. Jango was more of a bussines man than his son his father Boba ever was. Jango decided to clone Leia, and become richer than his arch-nemisis, Oprah Winfrey.
Leias and pimp
Jango Pimp, Leia and her first clone,(seen left),notice the polystyrene legs

Jango took better care of his "leia's". In fact, in the fall of 74, Leia recieved a brand new uterus. Soon after she and Jango Fett married in a small hut hight in the Sierras. Jango's love for Leia grew so strong, he took her off the market, for he had cloned an army of Leia callgirls. For years they tried for a baby to call their own, but could not due to an old clone war injury Jango had. Leia craved for a bay of her own but repeatedly refused artificial insemination that Jango had advised many times.

Leias
The Leia Clone army, developed by Jango fett OB-GYN


edit Leia's first child

March 1st 1976, while on a shopping trip in Tunisia, Leia ran into her Father, George Lucas. Unknown their relation to eachother, George offered her a part in an upcoming film he was working on called Star Whores, A New Pope. The movie would become one of the most profitable hardcore porns ever known. But it was'nt until it's third movie, Star Whores, Return of my Jisi, that trouble would come into Leia's life once again. After finishing filming one night, Lucas invited Leia out for innocent drinks. He later took advantage of the inubriated Leia after serving her a roofy colada. Two weeks later, at her home in Carson City, she learned she was pregnant. She and her husband Jango felt they have been blessed, until the baby was born. Because of the child being concieved through insest, The child was named Sebulba, and grew up to win the Daytona 500 and the great Boontah's Eve race.


edit Freinds and Family

Through out the years Leia had become a recluse due to her horrible misshaped child, Sebulba. It was'nt until 2007 when it was made public that Leia had secretly divorced Jango, now a raging alcoholic, converted to Kabala and married world renowned religous guru Jesus.Jesus, Unfortunatly for Leia, the two could never have children due to an injury Jesus recieved in the Clone Wars. Jesus and Leia were married for 6 months when divorced in early 2008. She has since changed her name to Carrie Fisher, (most likely have a completly different Uncyclopedia article, and has been diagnosed with severe manic depression.
Leia and jesus
Princess Leia and her new husband, Jesus


edit See Also

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