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Litchenslavia is a country located in between Kazakhstan, Tajikistan and a guy named Stan. It is a poor country where people often dress up as chocolate for a festival known as "the great melting of we". The Litches' primary language is Litchenslavikish; a common phrase in it would be Fag'got, "Republican". Litchenslavia is home to a high mount of rare creatures such as the jackass, the fucktard and the elusive jackinoff. Many people visit Litchenslavia on holiday to see its natural beauty. Once, by coincidence, this happened around the time Litchenslavia became home to many porn stars.

Litchenslavia has an incredibly high crime rate: 7 out of every 5 women and children are criminals.

Interesting facts: Santa was once spotted by a Litch. He was also gunned down by the Litchenslavikish child army.

edit National Anthem

[The] Litch National Anthem is in Litchenslavikish and has never been fully translated. Translation is expensive, and nobody cares about the stupid country anyway, so it was decoded halfway then the translators, being cats, went off to watch kitty TV.

Here is half the national anthem (decoded):

Oh Litchenslavia, Oh Litchenslavia
What can I do for country
Oh Litchenslavia, Oh Litchenslavia
I'd kill myself for country
this country is the best
unless you are a guest
'cause then we steal your money
Oh Officer, Oh Officer
I was going under 50
Oh Officer, Oh Officer
I cannot find my license
can you just let me go
so I can do that hoe
she only 5.70 an hour
our country better than yours
but please don't nuke us 'cause of it
we know you hate Iraq
but hey that's cool
coz if its not you'd come here

The rest has not been decoded as of the present time.

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