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Latest revision as of 10:26, October 29, 2011

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Recently featured: Newspeak - One Out of Ten Doctors - HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship - Grue's Clues - Baby Seal

Yesterday's Featured Article

Ryugyong hotel

Newspeak, Oceanian speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Repeats unwords. Crimethink unwords. Ref 11th ed Newspeak dictionary.

Miniplenty feeds Party, proles. Makes rations, bodywares. Makes plenty. Chocorat 20gm increased.

Minipax keeps pax. Floating fortresses unsinkful.

Minitrue rectifies malreports. Verifies Times.

Miniluv crimestopper. Keeps goodthink. (more...)

Did you know...

*...that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ...that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
  • ...that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ...that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
  • ...that Uranus is a gas giant?

In the news

On this day...

October 26: International Time Travel Day
88milesperhour
  • 1492 - Christopher Columbus invents herpes to pass the time on tedious transatlantic voyages.
  • 1701 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania incorporated as an American city.
  • 1776 - The first Continental Congress adjourns in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
  • 1805 - Citizens, using stolen British documents, develop simple time travel and travel back to 1701 and eradicate Philadelphia in order to save the East Coast from what would be present Philadelphia. Make second stop a bit farther east and remove area of future New Jersey for good measure as well. All is peaceful.
  • 1822 - The Rock discovers the secret to time travel, goes back in time to kill Hitler, only to realize Hitler wasn't born yet.
  • 1917 - The first Lifetime limited warranty is created when Congress passes the Broken Stamp Act of 1917.
  • 1921 - Highlander comes forward a billion years and impales Sean Connery on a parking meter, revenge ensues.
  • 1944 - Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla invent a time machine by accident. They travel to 1996 and meet Elton John, The Spice Girls and Bill Clinton's Cigar. They promptly return home, dismantle the time machine and deny it ever happened. It has become known amongst Conspiracy Theorists as the Philadelphia Experiment
  • 1946 - Enjoy whale meat day (Japan)
  • 1969 - The 69 sex position is invented by Christopher Lloyd.
  • 1980 - The 1981 DMC DeLorean, which is later used as a time machine, is released.
  • 1985 - Dr. Emmett Brown invents a time machine out of a DeLorean
  • 1988 - Bill and Ted build a time machine out of a phone booth for access to space porn.
  • 1988 - Pre-Emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, avoids being killed by a time-traveling jet engine by sleeping on a golf course.
  • 1988 - Pre-Emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, is killed by a time-traveling jet engine.
  • 1994 - First Time Cop trained; turns into serial killer, but accidently destroys own grandmother, creating a paradox called Doctor Who.
  • 1996 - The less popular 96 sex position is invented after the birth of Jesus.
  • 1999 - The 99 sex position is invented. Wait -- How does that work?
  • 2000 - It is discovered that Rosa Parks was actually a middle-aged caucasian man named Hank.
  • 2001 - First Time Traveller's Convention Held in New York. No future being reported.
  • 2003 - Goverment develops a time machine, George W. Bush travels to the past to party with his past self and Hitler.
  • 2006 - Some angsty teenager has an internal conflict with herself about stuff only Col. Sherman Potter and his son Harry Potter would understand.

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100AcreSuspects

"The greatest trick Christopher Robin ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

Image Credit: Mhaille
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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