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On this day...
September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day
- The Beginning - The Great FSM creates all that is, including his chosen people, the Pirates. According to Foodism, Chuck Norris fought with Super Fertile Man, the man with ifinite balls and Chuck Norris's only true rival, both martialy and in bed. the massive amounts of cum sprayed to try to destroy each other and the masive amount of energy from the orgasms combine to create the universe. The first beings to come from the new universe's giant vagina, impregnated by her fathers, are the gods. This is in the R rated version of Foodism, not the one commonly whorshiped. for the record, i am the founder of foodism. if you wish to discuss it, don't contact me at all. you may not make an article about foodiam, only i can. you can convert to foodim and be baptised in a giant pool of food and drink, and sacrifice your first born child to the food gods (do not take this part seriously).
- 1588 The Dread Pirate Wesley single handedly defeated the entire Spanish Armada in single combat.
- 1778 - The Continental Congress passes the first budget of the United States, budgeting 10,000 doubloons for defense, 5000 pieces of eight for social programs, and additional booty to highways.
- 1796 - George Washington makes his farewell address, saying "Aye me mateys, it were good being captain of this fine ship of state."
- 1957 - First U.S. underground nuclear bomb test is conducted, shivering timbers as far as 500 km. away.
- 1959 - After Nikita Khrushchev is barred from visiting Disneyland, he threatens to "keel haul" a man dressed in a Goofy suit.
- 1970- Pirates the world over rejoice at Oldsmobile's launch of the Cutlass Supreme!
- 1982 - Feared corsair Patch-Eyed Pete posts first recorded instance of an emoticon, P-) to an online bulletin board.
- 1985- First pirate movie released. It is rated ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
- 1989- Pirate Radio goes on the air and is fined for gratuitous use of the words "scalliwag" and "booty."
- 1995 - First Talk Like a Pirate Day. It rapidly replaces Talk Like a Ninja Day, which involved people saying nothing so as to conceal their presence.
- 2006 - with the War on Terror becoming increasingly bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan, President Bush considers shifting focus to a War on Pirates.
- 2006- Patch-Eyed Pete is fined $100,000 for using a pirated emotiocon in 1982.
- 2008- Due to the unpopularity of his administration, George W. Bush is forced to "walk the plank." The outraged Right Wing Naval Forces (RWNF)stage an attack on the District of Columbia from their base in Wasila, Alaska, resulting in the Battle of Stupid Pirate Catchphrases
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