Latest revision as of 10:26, October 29, 2011

...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?

...that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?

...that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?

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Free, single and plenty of fish to choose from (pictured) Zimbabwe presidential elections features a hair metal candidate Baseballer says his piece and puts everyone on high alert Anorexic cheerleader scandal Trusted news service hacked ( listen) Reese Witherspoon very confused Norway returns to darkness Kim il-Thatch dead and not loving it Dead rapper does an Elvis in the Middle East Gangster's uzi kills gangster's wife Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy day! Diamond found inside cubic zirconium UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
May 20: Have a Vision of the Virgin Mary Day (South America and Spain), Bacon Appreciation Day (America) 200 - Bacon is invented in Turkey. 1492 - Christina Columbus, the illegitimate daughter of a mediocre sailor, discovers a new continent, only to have her father Christopher claim the discovery as his own. 1551 - For an entire year, people make lame jokes about anagrams and dying of syphilis. 1732 - Queen Victoria, the Virgin Queen, declares war on France. Again. 1874 - Pope Pius IX sees the Virgin Mary on a strip of delicious bacon. 1927 - Charles Lindbergh impresses two continents and wins a load of cash. 1930 - A time-travelling Jimbo Wales makes an unsuccessful attempt to kill Hitler. The two later become the best of friends. 1932 - Popeye is introduced to Extra Virgin Olive Oyl. 1971 - Responding to the Soviet Union's announcementof the day before the BBC start legal predings for copyright violation, claiming "Mars 2 is just a cheap knock off of Button Moon". 1988 - Night Court is cancelled. The suicide rate for shut-ins triples overnight. 1995 - Some guy finally translates De Bello Gallico. 1999 - Sophia Capicola directs the The Virgin Suicides to the delight of spaced out club kids everywhere. 2004 - McCaulay Caulkin finally loses his virginity while falling from a cliff. 2007 - Illegal aliens crossing the US/Mexico border see the Virgin Mary in the Bush Administration's new 10000 volt border fence. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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Writer and Noob of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many ~~months~~ years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!

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@@ Line 25: / Line 25: @@
 *[[:Portal:Society|Society]]
 *[[:Portal:People|People]]
-*'''[[:Portal:Portals|All Portals]]'''
+*'''[[:Portal:Portals|All]]'''
 |}

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