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Today's Featured Article Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 30,273 articles in English Politics Games Music Science History Art Television Film Theatre Society People All Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations Categories · Featured content · A–Z index Recently featured: Newspeak - One Out of Ten Doctors - HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship - Grue's Clues - Baby Seal Yesterday's Featured Article Newspeak, Oceanian speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Repeats unwords. Crimethink unwords. Ref 11th ed Newspeak dictionary. Miniplenty feeds Party, proles. Makes rations, bodywares. Makes plenty. Chocorat 20gm increased. Minipax keeps pax. Floating fortresses unsinkful. Minitrue rectifies malreports. Verifies Times. Miniluv crimestopper. Keeps goodthink. (more...) Did you know... *...that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish? ...that Uranus is a gas giant? ...that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish? ...that Uranus is a gas giant? ...that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?	In the news Free, single and plenty of fish to choose from (pictured) Zimbabwe presidential elections features a hair metal candidate Baseballer says his piece and puts everyone on high alert Anorexic cheerleader scandal Trusted news service hacked ( listen) Reese Witherspoon very confused Norway returns to darkness Kim il-Thatch dead and not loving it Dead rapper does an Elvis in the Middle East Gangster's uzi kills gangster's wife Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy day! Diamond found inside cubic zirconium On this day... May 19: Do What You Were Supposed To Do On May 18th Day (Procrastinators) A long, long time ago - Jedi Purge Day 3141 BC - The world is invented, no-one notices. pi - Someone decides that really long numbers are cool but hard to write down. 1897 - "No longer is there such a thing as an imprisoned Oscar Wilde." -Oscar Wilde 1922 - The United States quota on immigration is repealed after Congress unanimously votes to force everyone on Earth to live in the United States. 1964 - JFK/manwhore was assassinated in a Ford 1971 - The Soviet Union's space program releases Mars 2, the sequel to the hit planet Mars. Due to budget cutbacks, Mars 2 has four holes in its center, and appears to be two dimensional. 1997 - Chunnel declares civil war, dividing into North Chunnel and South Chunnel. 1999 - Jar Jar Binks's lead role in the movie Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace earns him much popularity. 2005 - Attempting to stay in business, the free encyclopedia Wikipedia sells advertisements using a bizarre method: for one hundred dollars, you can have every noun in any one sentence replaced with your product's name permanently. 2005 - Later that Pepsi-Cola: Attempting to parody Pepsi-Cola, the free Pepsi-Cola Pepsi-Cola sells Pepsi-Colas using a bizarre Pepsi-Cola: for one hundred Pepsi-Colas, Pepsi-Cola can have every Pepsi-Cola in any one Pepsi-Cola replaced with your Pepsi-Cola's Pepsi-Cola permanently. 2019 - Uncyclopedia suddenly doesn't suck
Today's featured picture Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice. Image Credit: Mhaille Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Uncyclopedia's sista projects Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects. 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