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Today's Featured Article

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,229 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Recently featured: Newspeak - One Out of Ten Doctors - HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship - Grue's Clues - Baby Seal

Yesterday's Featured Article

Ryugyong hotel

Newspeak, Oceanian speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Repeats unwords. Crimethink unwords. Ref 11th ed Newspeak dictionary.

Miniplenty feeds Party, proles. Makes rations, bodywares. Makes plenty. Chocorat 20gm increased.

Minipax keeps pax. Floating fortresses unsinkful.

Minitrue rectifies malreports. Verifies Times.

Miniluv crimestopper. Keeps goodthink. (more...)

Did you know...

*...that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
  • ...that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?

In the news

On this day...


December 2: International Boring Nordic Culture Heritage Day

  • 6000 BC - Mankind born from the toil of an ice giant melting to the ocean. At least that's what Viking creationists say.
  • 432 - Thor gets arrested in Valhalla after being accused of destroying an orphanage while Drunk Chariot Driving. Embarrassed, the Nordic people begin converting to Christianity.
  • 793 - Vikings visit Lindisfarne Abbey in Northern England, bringing home a suspicious amount of souvenirs.
  • 900 - Erik the Red, a Viking explorer and real estate agent, discovers a big block of ice, utterly unsuitable for human life. He gives it the name 'Greenland' to attract customers.
  • 957 - A third Denmarks population dies victim of the mysterious axe in the head plague.
  • 966 - Vikings reach Constantinople, bringing home alabaster chess sets and cheap carpets as souvenirs.
  • 1000 - Explorer and murderer Leif Erikson discovers America, but realizes his mistake in time and lets Columbus and Vespucci have all the blame.
  • 1429 - Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, decides not to be, and disappeares immediately.
  • 1755 - Danish pastries are first introduced to non-Danes.
  • 1859 - Hans Christian Andersen writes The Emperor Is A Nudist, a beloved fairy tale.
  • 1916 - Europe at war. Swedes have an excellent game of bridge.
  • 1940 - Europe at war again. Swedes read a lot of good books.
  • 2010 - Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.
  • 2009 - God kills three (3) men, each named Jeff.

Today's featured picture


Children's books as they should be, without sugar-coating.

Image Credit: Bonjo Nelson
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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