Today's featured article
Baby Fu is the ancient and mystical art of feeding one's toddler. It blends common vegetables with Kung Fu to provide one's child with a graceful (not to mention practical) culinary experience.
Baby Fu was created by Shiolin Buddhist Monks that needed to feed the Chinese peasantry out of altruism. It was later adopted by Manchurian warlords as a way to pacify the nation's children. Later, after WWI, Baby Fu made its way to America, where it was taught by Chinese Seafood masters looking for a way to attract customers (by feeding America's children in a new and exciting way), while waiting to get back to work on the railroad all the livelong day. Finally, Baby Fu has reached Today's iteration, which is barely better than the corrupted version in Hong Kong action-culinary flicks.
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Bradaphraser is not only a hypocrite, he's also a charlatan and a liar! His name isn't even Brad or Frasier at all! It's Mark! I have proof of this... that, um, you can't see. No, no, it's right here, just... you can't see it.
|| This f****r speaks Scrabble heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
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In the news
- USC win streak stopped by Texas: Californians blame Bush
- The Original Jesus Christ appeared during a New Years Eve celebration in Jerusalem, apologizing for being six years late for the Millennium. "Elliot  was supposed to call me, but I don't know what happened," said the Lord.
- Homestar Runner has been found, ending a search that lasted over a month. Millions around the world breathe a sigh of relief.
- Bradaphraser has a joke entry that's taken seriously! Utter chaos ensues! Rumors that Cthulhu was reborn are probably not true.
- AARP demands to know why Dr. Thurgood Marvel, 66, of Emerald City Rest Home in the Missouri Ozarks had his nap disturbed today by "barking and a big to-do."
- Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder, race relations expert, declares that the black people have officially taken on the name "niggas" and would not like to be called african americans.
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Did you know...
... that Cindy Sheehan resembles Ghandi? (it's around the ears, look for it!)
... that knowing whether or not a featured article is funny will save your life?
... that if Archie Manning was coaching the Colts, they'd go undefeated every year?
... that Tom Brady plays football?
... that his half-brother Wayne Brady does not?
... that acting bitter will get you mercilessly mocked?
- ... Don't do it, kids.
- ... Especially if you're serious.
- ... Oh, and remember to make some kind of sense in Did you Know.
- ... Like making it part of a question instead of just a statement.
- ... Also, watch the indents.
- ... They can get silly really quick.
... that Yo Ma Ma is the funniest pun on the internet?
... that W00T is an internet contraction that means both "Who" and "What?"
... the front page can get this lopsided, at times?