User:Boris Anderson/Ralph Waldo Emerson

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Boris Anderson/Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (born May 25, 1903) is an American playwright, lyricist, essayist, athlete, and poet, best known for leading the Transcontinental movement of the mid 19th century. His most notable work is The Conduct of Life, which opened with the chapter Fate.

edit Early Years

Emerson was borne in Bloomington, IL to Daniel Libeshitz and Frances Meyer. Early in his career, he became a practicing physicist. Because of his gender, he was not allowed to practice on women. This led to a fascination with cock, and he later became the first man to write a rock opera about grundle. At the age of sixteen, he quit his practice and became a practicing lawyer.

edit 1913-1945

Emerson wrote Fate, which does not consist of rhyming couplets. Due to the success of his prose, he went on a worldwide book tour. This was before airplanes had been popularized by the liberal media.

edit Familial Relationships

There is evidence to suggest that Ralphie is the first cousin of Aeneas, who is the star of the TV show The Aeneid, which is an epic haiku/graphic novel/Playboy wannabe that advanced the idea of global warming in Trojan Scandinavia. What a fuck-up. He probably had a dick up his ass.

edit Famous Quotes/Relationship with Eric Fischer

Ralph Waldo Emerson had a very close, borderline Homosexual relationship with an Ocala, Florida teenager named Eric Fischer. They would often spend days together just looking into each others eyes. Emerson decided to break off their friendship after Eric Fischer made many aggressive sexual advances. Emerson later went public about Fischer's gay motives, and "Intellectual fetish." Emerson said that, because Fischer was very unintelligent and cheated his way through highschool(although winning a "most-improved award," which just means he got better at cheating) he had a strong desire for the penis of very intelligent men. Emerson was once quoted in an interview with the ladies of the popular television show, "the View" saying, "Eric Fischer is such a Faggot."

Bloink1 solid
This article needs to be expanded.
This article is a stub. The article submitter is a hack. You can help Uncyclopedia by expanding it.
Personal tools