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Deletion Award This user is an administrator and messing with him/her could result in a ban.

This is my storehouse of stock replies to issues I encounter as an admin. If you got a message in your Talk page, and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, there's a good chance I just copied it from here and forgot to adequately personalize it. Or, maybe you just don't get it, period... there's not much I can do about that. Sorry.

Future: categorize these things, 'cause they're getting out of freakin' control.

edit Damn, that was just stupid

Normally, I try to find some witty way of suggesting that an author redirect their efforts away from creating vanity pages. But [[omg this is teh stup1d]] was absolutely, indefensibly, undeniably, stupid stupid '''stupid'''. I can't believe you were willing to put your name on it. If I weren't in a good mood, I'd have likely slapped a lifetime ban on your User ID, IP address, and all of [[AOL]] just in case. But you're lucky today -- my [[welfare]] check just arrived and me an' my friend [[tequila|Jose]] are about to have a deep, meaningful [[drunk|conversation]]. Don't do it again, 'cause some of the other admins are still sober. --~~~~

edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia. Now go home.

No, really, we're happy to have you. And I hope you last longer than your article [[amazingly lame article]] did. It was deleted, and I really think you can figure out why. Hint: There's a reason the edit page says "If this is your first article, read the [[Uncyclopedia:Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian|Beginner's Guide]] first" and "[[Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid|Be funny and not just stupid]]." I encourage you to discover that reason. Of course, if you think I'm way off base and life isn't fair, you can <s>slit your wrists</s> listen to some [[Emo]], or complain at the [[Forum:Village Dump|Village Dump]]. --~~~~

edit A for Affort, but...

I (and the other [[Special:Listadmins|admins]]) can see that you've really jumped into the Uncyclopedia thing with both feet. That's great, we need a lot more people to jump in and help Uncyclopedia reach its goal of becoming the Internet's primary source of disinformation. But you know, it's one thing to jump in the pool, and it's something else altogether to belly-flop from the high board over and over. After a while, all the hot chicks move to the other side of the pool, and '''we don't want that, do we?''' So before you climb the ladder again, might I suggest you don the [[Uncyclopedia:Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian|Face Mask of Knowledge]] and the [[Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid|Snorkel of Humor]]? 'Cause your belly is starting to turn red. --~~~~

edit Allowable vanity, maybe?

Congratulations on [[obscure community name]]! It looks like the article falls into the "Community Site" loophole in the Uncyclopedia [[Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies|Vanity Policies]], which allows you to create a page for your little circle of friends, enemies, and hangers-on. It's not a terribly large loophole, however. There are a lot of ways that the article could fall afoul of the admins, so if you don't want it to disappear down the [[Special:Log/delete|memory hole]], you'd be well-advised to read the Vanity Policies. For real. Two things that one admin (me) gets particularly upset about: user pages that aren't "sub-pages" of the main community page (they belong at [[obscure community name/User1337]], not [[Vanity page|User1337]]); and spilling over into places that aren't funny (don't say that one of your lame friends created the [[Earth]], for example). Also, you'll want to do some work on the page -- it also got marked as "No Redeeming Value" because we admins like to make little side wagers on whether we'll ever see you again. I've got five bucks/quid/euro says you'll swing by and remove <nowiki>{{NRV}}</nowiki>, so don't let me down. --~~~~

edit Watch those categories!

I noticed that [[:Category:Some goofy category]] got added to the [[Uncyclopedia:Pages for deletion]] list. The reason why is the same as the reason why you don't want to add links to your (currently) [[Goofy vanity page|allowable vanity page]] from Every Article In The World. Simple, really: ''the squeaky wheel gets '''greased'''''. Like an [[armadillo]] on a [[Texas]] highway, if you stand out, you're going to find your time in this place has expired prematurely. The [[Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies|allowable vanity]] rules give you and your friends your own playground, but if you keep throwing your ball through our windows, someone's gonna ... aw crap, I can't come up with a decent metaphor. Just be more careful, alright? --~~~~

edit Vanity page?

I see that you've put some effort into [[Leon Spinks]]. However, you may want to check out the Uncyclopedia "policy" (such as it is) on [[Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies|Vanity Pages]]. If you're making a page about a non-notable person, such as the [[high school]] [[football|quarterback]] or your [[Elton John|roommate]], it's likely to be deleted. You might make the fact that your guy/gal/whatever is famous pretty obvious, too, because [[Tequila]] makes us admins lose our inhibitions and we'll go around deleting 'most anything. Or maybe that's just me. Remember, if you feel like someone was off their nut deleting your article, you can always <s>whine about</s> discuss it at the [[Uncyclopedia:Village Dump|Village Dump]]. --~~~~

edit Article deleted, expired?

Hey, just letting you know that I deleted [[great unfinished idea]] because its "best if used by..." date passed a while back, and the [[fridge]] is starting to smell a bit funny, if you know what I mean. Don't worry, you can always put them back on the shelf next time you come to visit. --~~~~

edit Original page text

Would be here, yes.

edit Article deleted, vanity?

Hey, just letting you know that I ''(or another admin)'' deleted [[your vanity article]], largely because it doesn't look like you meant to create it in the first place. Right? You already knew better than to create yet another [[Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies|Vanity Page]] -- you were probably trying to add the content to your own User Page, and your mouse slipped. Riiiiiight. Just stick to that story, and you'll be fine. --~~~~

edit Article deleted, anonymous vanity?

Hey, just letting you know that I ''(or another admin)'' deleted [[Your vanity article]]. Since you haven't created an account on Uncyclopedia, it's kind of hard to talk to you directly about it, so this post-it note (TM) has been stuck to your IP address. Which, by the way, is now the lucky recipient of an [[Special:Ipblocklist|enforced siesta]] from Uncyclopedia, just to be sure you have time to read [[Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies]] before you try again. Or if you think I'm stifling your creativity, take it up with the [[DUMP|ultimate judges]] -- the Uncyclopedia community. --~~~~

edit Article deleted, pointless?

edit Long version

Hey, just letting you know that I ''(or another admin)'' deleted [[your long but pointless article]]. It was long... very long... man, was it long. But like a highway in the middle of [[New Jersey]], it never really seemed to go anywhere interesting. Plus, since the whole thing was created at once, I'm guessing that you've still got a copy somewhere. Treasure it. Cherish it. But before you repost it, you might want to talk it over with the buzzards circling over the [[DUMP|Village Dump]]. Some other useful resources might include [[Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies]] and [[Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid]]. --~~~~

edit Short version

Hey, just letting you know that I ''(or another admin)'' deleted [[short but still pointless]]. An article may be like a journey, but this one is like a trip down a highway in the middle of [[New Jersey]]: it never really seemed to go anywhere interesting. Perhaps you've still got a copy somewhere. Treasure it. Cherish it. But before you repost it, you might want to talk it over with the buzzards circling over the [[DUMP|Village Dump]]. Some other useful resources might include [[Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies]] and [[Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid]]. --~~~~

edit Per version

Hey, gimme a break, I'm just tryin' to make a livin'.

edit Problem Page, vandalism?

I have taken drastic measures (I've always wanted to say that) to prevent [[your constantly re-created vanity article]] from making a repeat appearance. I can do that -- I'm an admin! Wow! But maybe I'm just having a bad day, so if you feel like I'm just being a [[asshole|jerk]], please visit the [[DUMP|Village Dump]] and register your discontent. If I'm off the mark, I'll be properly chastized and put back in my place. I've put the content of your article below, for your reference. Have a (nice, whatever) day! --~~~~

edit Original page text

Indeed, would be here.

edit Article deleted, plagarism?

Just FYI, the [[shamelessly plagarized page]] page was huffed due to being a 100% copy of another site -- see [[QVFD]] for details. Please accept our condolences, and this bill for the cost of the bullet. --~~~~

edit Article deleted, blanked

I just deleted the article [[Burger King radiation]], which you created and then blanked. I just wanted to point out that blanking an article could get you banned -- not because you were up to no good, but because we get a lot of vandals who blank other authors' pages. ''That'' sort of blanking is grounds for a one-way trip to [[Special:Ipblocklist|Bansville]]. Hopefully, an admin would see that you're not a vandal, but sometimes the [[Tequila]] impairs our judgement and the axe comes down. Instead of blanking a "mistake" article, I recommend you put a note on [[QVFD]] asking an admin to send it to the Great Beyond for you (only the [[Special:Listadmins|Admins]] can actually delete pages). That will help prevent any unfortunate misunderstandings. --~~~~

edit obscure sub-reference

I changed your article to a redirect to [[less obscure reference]]... not really because the article was short, but because it was too factual. You may find some helpful hints listed under [[Uncyclopedia:Uncyclopedia is Not|Uncyclopedia is Not]]... or your head may explode. You've got about a 50/50 chance either way. You may have to resort to stronger measures, like clicking random links on the [[Uncyclopedia:Community Portal|Community Portal]] or bobbing for apples in the [[Uncyclopedia:Village Dump|Village Dump]]. Of course, this is Uncylopedia, so please treat these suggestions with the [[toilet|appropriate level of respect]]. --~~~~

edit Page moved, misspelled?

I moved your page to [[correctly spelled page]], spelling "obvious words" correctly this time. Please take note of the [[Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies]] as you work on the page -- if the article is only funny to people who know your friend "name", then there's a good chance that I or one of the other [[Special:Listadmins|admins]] will [[kitten huffing|huff]] it. --~~~~

edit Page moved FOR GREAT JUSTICE

I moved your page to [[sensible page title]], since the original page title would have never gotten linked from anywhere that you hadn't specially tweaked. After all, linking articles it's what it's all about. No, that's the [[Hokey Pokey]], but linking is right up there. Anyway, don't forget to keep adding to the article, because if it stays small and/or strange and/or crappy, it stands a good chance of getting [[Special:Log/delete|swept up]] when the [[Special:Listadmins|janitors]] make their rounds. --~~~~

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