User:Bob220/Experts say that Giant genetically modified Flesh eating Ants pose no threat to humans
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
1 June 2009
|This article needs more work. See ICU and below for details.|
This page will be re-checked on 8 June 2009,
and if not improved will face deletion.
Experts are assuring everyone that the Giant Ants that were recently created by China pose absolutely no threat to the human race whatsoever.
Chinese officials have said that "These ants are made to... umm... Help aid in doing things humans would struggle at. Their giant claws and extremely gaseous rectums are to aid in... Things". Even though at times these officials sounded uncertain, US experts are assuring that these ants will pose no threats in the near future.
Although nobody is certain what exactly these flesh eating ants will be used for, people are excited to see these ants up close. Rumours have it that China will even be opening an exhibition for the public to see these ants in action.
China have also commented on how these ants will be fed and kept: "Our new crackdown on crime allows us to feed any criminals to these ants, allowing us to cut population overgrowth and keep these... Cute animals well nourished. Some will be let to roam free until a more secure environment is found. Letting them roam free will be completely safe, as signs saying 'Do not feed the ants' will be put up, and anybody trying to murder these innocent creatures will be sprayed with a deadly gas, killing anybody in a 2 mile radius of the ant. If this does get a bit much, we will consider removing beans from the ants' diets.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|