# User:Un-Un-Blat

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## DUMP THE SMACKER

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**INTERMISSION-THIS ARTICLE IS BORING!**

**Pi** is the mathematical version of a rebel. It is what a law-abiding rational number becomes on exposure to drugs, mass false propaganda and/or religion (which is not mutually exclusive to mass false propaganda). A long long time ago, in -300 AD (Also known as 300 BC where BC stands for Before Chickens) a hippie by the name of Euclid decided he should share some of his weed with the number 3. After smoking weed, 3 got high and become irrational. That was how Pi was born, which is 3.141.....

## Controversy on the Origins of Pi

There are several conflicting alternative theories on the possible origins of Pi. Some of the more universally accepted ones include:

- In addition to 3.2, who is the child of 2 and 3(hence its last name is 2, => 3.2), Pi is the secret love-child of 3 and Inifinity. Hence Pi's last name is Infinity, 3.1415.... .
- Pi was the result of a failed cloning expert involving integers
- Pi was created by the CIA as an inside agent to watch over all the other irrationals
- Pi doesn't exist. It is merely a figment of our imaginations.

## Questions answered by Mathematicians using Pi

- Why did the chicken cross the road?

To eat some Pi. Assuming the chicken is spherical, in a vacuum and eggs are conserved in the interaction.

- What is the answer to life, the universe and everything?

Pi.(It's not 42, the mice lied)

- Where is waldo?

At home, memorizing the digits of Pi

- What is the circumference of the observable universe?

A gazillion pies

## Questions not answered using Pi

- What are the first N digits of Pi?

## Pi and God

Mathematicians believe that God is actually an array of digits stored somewhere inside Pi. In other words, Pi > God.

## How pi invented time

One day Pi was chilling pool side with his homies, smoking a blunt and discussing the finer points of fried chicken. Suddenly Pi said, "I would certainly like some fried chicken right now." But because time hadn't been invented yet he couldn't move his limbs. He could only move his mouth. So, with his mouth he started making clicking noises, using his tongue and the roof of his mouth. His homies asked him what he was doing and he explained, "I have just invented the first clock!" Suddenly they could all move their arms and legs and thoraxes so they stood up and walked away from the pool. They walked and walked and everywhere they went, time spread. Children who previously could only move their mouths were suddenly able to play and dance and sing. Eventually Pi and his homies arrived at their local fried chicken dispensary and ordered a bunch of chicken and enjoyed it.

**Glossary of mathematical terms**

**We now return to our regularly scheduled jokes, already in progress....**below: