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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Un-BigGator5.

This is BigGator5 in all his gay glory...

“We used to be fuck buddies until he 'so-called' went stright. Bastard...”
~ Oscar Wilde on BigGator5

“What. The. Fuck.”
~ Stephen on BigGator5
“He is an hero”
~ Mr_Jingoism on BigGator5
“He was always superior to the mods... up until he was ban”
~ Eyewitness reports on BigGator5


BigGator5 considers his birthplace "The Swamp," which happens to coincide with the nickname the boys gave his mother's vagina in high school. In his youth he left home to live with what he considers his "brethren," the lizards, of which he crowned himself King. It is commonly believed that lizard is a euphemism for penis and that by proxy he does consider himself "King Cock."

Often he is revered as a cocksucking bastard, which would not be too far from the truth. Gator is both hated and loved thoughout the internet. Incidentally those that love him appear to no older in age than fifteen, and many suspect one day to see Gator on "To Catch a Predator." He fancies himself frequently with his hands, but by career fancies himself an Author. Of course, he has had writer's block for over a year now and it does not look like he will be writing anything for a long time to come, thank fuck, except for whiny and poorly thought-out attempts at reinstatement anywhere that may take him. Given his new free agency, rumor has it the fourteen year old girls that run Xanga are considering signing him for his pure emo-gold potential. Obviously, LiveJournal will fight hard, and we're sure that Gator's agent is getting an earful.

Recent updates on his blog in April indicate that he has been kicked out of the house by his grandmother, for stealing money from her. It is so bad he should be in jail, so he claims. He now has a part-time job at West Oaks Mall food court. You can't miss him, he's the only white fat guy wearing a yellow apron. The barbeque sauce running down his chin should also be a pretty big giveaway.

About time, living off of other people is never a good thing.

BigGator5 was recently "ban" from yet another community on the internet because of "liberal elitist assholes and corrupt moderators." After the thirteenth time in four months that he was warned about his freedom fighting, Gator was unjustly b& from RoosterTeeth. The politics forum, the Music BAR, and the Sports BAR laugh at it. What elitist assholes.

Sadly, to this date he remains unable to conjugate basic verbs.

See also

External links

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