Why I Joined The Site, And Why We Need To Save This Dying Humor Nexus!
I first encountered this site in December 2006, when we had school laptops in class while we were working on a book report for Night by Elie Wiesel. I googled holocaust, scrolled through WAAAY more pages than I probably should have, and ended up in the Holocaust tycoon article. I had no idea what I was actually looking at, being my little sixth grade self, I thought I was looking at a legitimate website. So, my book report ended up being made up of orange jews, paragraphs on 1990s 8-bit simulation games, and the words "fuck" and "shit", which I back then thought were nonsense (my parents are christians, I didn't know any swear words).
Fastforward to February 2012: I'm 15 years old, in 10th grade, and have a little time to kill. I'm playing Runescape, downloading music, and generally letting my mind wander. I find a copy of Night in my bookshelf, and I immediately remember that book report (which I of course failed). Just for fun, I google Uncyclopedia, and find that it is a JOKE site (EXTREME FACEPALM!). Of course, I find the Wikia URL and begin browsing. It became my go-to ROTFL LMFAO satire site, and then, sometime in early March, I find the Chicago article. I half browse, half read through the article (loved the chrome ball gag, I know enough about Chicago IRL to know that many people think it's ugly and bringing down property values, so of course, when you guys described it as "the most fantastical thing you will ever see in Chicago", I laughed my fucking ass off), and I get to the "Suburbs" section. My eye immediately falls upon the Milwaukee red link, I thought that since Milwaukee was such a large metropolis, it should get AT LEAST it's own article, maybe even it's own category.
I immediately create an account as soon as that thought crosses my mind, another Uncyclopedian is born! Not only do I create a relatively extensive article, with formatting help from some noob-friendly admins, but I even make my own Grue and an article about the software I use to make it, plus a small misinforming "FAQ" about the file type it by default saves to. By then, i'm addicted. Unfortunately, over 4 million members were lost in the time it took me to discover the awesomeness that is Uncyclopedia (I only visit ED for the awesome shockporn, honest). I have a feeling most of you, except the early admins, can say the same. If we don't do something fast, the member count may only be a few hundred legacy admins and devotee addicts like you and me. We will lose all relevance and literally fall off the internet, and in some ways already have.
The site is dying, and we need to save it! I may not be an admin, I am just a regular noob, and not a particularly good one at that! I have had several blocks and warnings, repeat vandalism, and all of my articles have been ICU'd, if not outright deleted, at some time or another. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the point is, no matter what your rank in the hierarchy, nonmember/infinibanned to admin, we can save this site together! Spam the rest of teh internets, get news coverage for particularly offensive articles like ED does, expand to other markets, let Uncyc post to your Facebook wall and invite your friends! Whatever you feel like you have to do, this site needs to be put back on track, and FAST! Join me, and whoever else has a vested interest in this site, and we can do this!
--Sincerely,BieberAxeKiller (talk) 00:00, June 6, 2012 (UTC)
My Articles So Far(In case they get huffed or vandalized beyond repair)
Okay, i'm done with that, now here is where you can flame, rant, insult me, blow off steam, save YOUR articles, call people fags fuckheads or other bad names, etc. ENJOY! (or no, I don't really care if you are entertained)