From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Who the fuck has been shitting on my Telescope?!”
“Ever heard of planet ass, Haruhi Suzumiya found it on the internet the Nerd Published”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!”
Planet ass (Also known as HD SHIT c) is the most funniest and bizzare extrasolar planet ever discovered in the universe, It was named planet ass because of It's ocean of shit and it's ass look alike, This planet functions like a humans ass and will take a shit during the moment, It is 5000 light years from earth in the constellation on Cygnus, It is the size of Neptune with 9.23 earth masses and it has an elliptical orbit taking 70 earth years to complete a full orbit causing it to be closer to the star 5x more than mercury is up to being 20x farther away than pluto is, making life impossible, It crosses the habitable zones in the orbit. It has a large unique moon nearby which stables it's axis and causes tides, This planet is similar to 26 Cygni Bb.
A day on this planet is 22 hours and the axis tilt of this planet fluctuates at 25' to 30' in 20,000 years, The tides on this planet is Dramatic and is about 650,000x the ones that is on earth, Most of that ocean is volcanic, During the summer solstice, It's liquid shit ocean on the planet including the underground oceans will have the planet experiencing explosive boiling diarrhea during high tides, many of this transferred shit is on the moon, other moons, other planets, and their stars, despite one of it's moon being so close, that moon isn't tidally locked the shit that landed on that moon recedes into the inner layers of the moon and is it's main core, some of it's shit exits outside of it's solar system, Such a planet will create such a severe mess, Some shit is found in other places of the planet, the land surface of the planet is made of sand, It has an atmosphere like earth but it's sky is light brown, It has oxygen like our own, and has plenty of water.
Such a poor planet will suffer terrible climate change, During the course the planet will experience barely a year of scorching summer temperatures, summer starts on this planet, the shit is starting to boil, During high tides it's reaches a fifth of a mile high due to high gravity but it's volcanic ocean beats gravity, Hurricanes form those with over 50,000 km/h - 60,000 km/h winds spread many of this shit out of it's oceans, It's so big that Category 5 hurricanes are tiny eddies compared to it, shitstorms lash the near oceans of the planet, It goes extremely dramatic in the middle of it's solstice as the sun fills the horizon, and blasts way out to the planet, making loud fart noises and causes extreme earthquakes up to 36.2 on the Richter scale and extreme plate tectonics, this is caused by the volcanic eruption of the oceans and the underground oceans. however the giant ass crack cannot disappear, such a profound cause of summer causes feces to land on other planets, many entirely filled of shit, it's blow is dramatic even blasting it's rocks into space, those that would bombard planets, it's a doomsday for a planet, as it exits the summer period, all is left is diarrhea and the last tenths of it's shit ocean, The diarrhea rains and regens to fill what it was, Autumn begins, the planets fall to temperatures that of comfortable levels, Some of the water is found on the planet, Autumn lasts barely 2 years, Winter begins, The water and diarrhea begins to spread and reflect the light of it's parent star covering most of the planet, those of diarrhea settles, winter lasts 65 years, during the middle, daytime skies are dark and temperatures plummet to extreme cold, colder than Yellowknife, 32 years pass, spring starts, the diarrhea melts and temperatures then reach to comfortable levels, lasting barely 2 years, oceans rise, and it will be comfortable until the start of summer.
Life on this planet, let's face it, It's extreme seasons makes it hard for life on such a planet, It's unlikely that life would survive, plants may not survive so are other species, the only life would probably be common bacteria and assholians.
|Month||Record low||Average low||Daily mean||Average high||Record high|
|Start/End of summer||198.2||110.1||100.5||98.4||-0|
|Start/End of winter||-120.2||-67.1||-65.5||-63.6||23|
Assholians are made of metal that is covered in rock and are probably the only life on that has been on Planet Ass, They bring terrible, terrible, NES games, to our planets, The company LJN is full of assholians making horrible NES games, they do it with episodes of shit storms shitting on the Planet NES library, Assholians have a face the looks like asses and their saliva is made of shit, They struggle to survive in extreme seasons, summers have extinct their species and LJN ends, they believe in a god, a deadly anime goth causing the doomsday, some of the building left by them survived, and will until the end of a few summers, then the evidences of these buildings will be wiped out.
edit In Popular Culture
- The Documentary Super Fucking Bizzare Extrasolar Planets, This planet was featured.
- The Show Dora The Explorer, Dora Explores this planet, She later dies.
- The Hentai Night Shift Nurses has references of planet ass.
- The Show Angry Video Game Nerd featured this planet.
edit How AVGN found planet ass
He was one day on his telescope he was gazing until he found a strange planet in the sky, Shit then fell onto the lens of the telescope, the nerd cleaned it up and is trying to find who has shitting on his telescope, he didn't find anyone but he did find a planet during it's summer solstice, he was surprised that such a planet would actually exist, he then published it to NASA and a wikipedia article of this has been made.
edit Story of planet ass
Planet ass was formed 500 million years ago, about a year after it's formation a huge planet crashed into the planet causing explosions, then the moon of the planet forms, about a million years later, rocks bombard the planet which contains key ingredients for life on planet ass and shit from destroyed earths, it opens a huge canyon full of shit and it resembles planet ass.
edit Moons of planet ass
- Shit Victim
- Nuclear Shit
edit Gallery of planet ass
edit See Also
- Angry Video Game Nerd
- Gay Luigi
- The Midnight Sun
- December 21, 2012
- Mama Luigi
- Extrasolar planet
|Confirmed (Solar System): Sun | Mercury | Venus | Earth (The Moon) | Mars | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus | Neptune|
|Confirmed (Extrasolar): Darwin IV | Discworld | Milky Way | Planet of the Apes | Planet Google | Planet Hollywood | Pizza Planet | Dystopia | Techneta | Roseanne|
|Dwarf planets: Pluto | 2003 UB313 | Jay Leno's Chin | Xanax|
|Unconfirmed: Garnox | Mantoobia | Unicron|
|Denied by CIA and IAU: Neopia | MyAnus | YourAnus|
|In a galaxy far, far away: Alderaan | Coruscant | Tatooine | Kamino | Endor | Naboo | Bespin | Death Star|
|Members of the Federation: Vulcan | Qo'noS|