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Oi, I'm a long-time user who is hiding behind a false claim of being new as a cover-up for my constant inadequacy and incompetence. So if you see me doing something wrong, please pretend that I am a n00b and send me a condescending note of some sort on the assumption that I don't know what I'm doing. Of course, any damage I do is inexcusable due to my enormous experience of this sort of thing, whatever it is we experienced users ought to call it. But let's play pretend.
Oh, and I'm sorry that I'm not funny. I'd write serious articles for that Wikipedia thing, except that I'm also stupid and get lots of facts wrong. You're stuck with me until someone figures out how to delete me.