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edit The American Irish Relation
American - Oh my God look at that cute little Irish person!
Irishman - Feck off
The American Irish connection has been one of great interest over the years. The influx and increase of LuckyCharms and Leprechauns in Ireland has also seen a great increase in American tourists, who have the firm belief that they are the superior and that everyone else wants to be like them. The Irish are a simple folk who do not wish to be disturbed and would like the Americans to leave them alone. They are, after all nursing a massive hangover. With the Irish being unfairly portrayed as 'tramps' through the sterotyped American media, the Irish are getting increasingly 'peesed aff' with the Americans whilst they, just can't stop luvin.
edit A History
Many eons ago a wonderful little landlord called Patty O'Flattery O' Jattery Jones owned the entire acre that is Ireland. He loved his people and he loved his magical creatures, so much in fact, he prayed to the Virgin Mary in Fatima to see if he could improve his peoples lives and his erectile disfunctions.
"What the feck do you want?" Mary asked. "Please your grace," Jones begged," give my people health and beauty." "ta ra de de" Mary replied, " That I shall but on one condition. The people will be blighted with ginger hair and your potatoes will go bad." "Okay watevs bitch," Jones replied. Soon the island was turned into chaos as the people turned in to 'Ginger feckers!' - (Jimmy O'Reilly 1987) and around 10 people died from starvation and exposure to sunlight. The remaining inhabitants got together and said, " Look, O' flattery's a wanker but I'm sure we'll be treated better in america. I'm sure they'll take us in and give us jobs."
And indeed the Americans did and over time they forgot about the survivors left behind, and soon America became filled with glorius surnames like, "Snoop Dogg, Harrison and Bush." But not Clinton, the irish don't care what he says, Clinton has no relatives here.
Yet over the years the Irish grew more resentful of the Americans and the Americans grew more nostalgic over the Irish. Whilst the Americans grow increasingly superior the Irelands are making WMDs and so thats pretty much it.
edit The media
For years the Americans believed they portrayed their cousins fairly through the medium of the Titanic movie, Hallowe'en 3, the Lucky Charms adverts and every drink advertisement to date. The treatment of the Irish in titanic caused great uproar in small town Ireland. Many felt it was unfair how the irish were shown to be ginger and to wear brown clothing.
The scene were the Irish are locked in cages whilst the ship fills with water was most distressing, as some dubbed it as racism. "We built the fecker, we sank the fecker, we deserve better education systems for this!" - (Mary O'Connell 1832)
The interesting portrayal of the Irish as an evil and black magic race in Hallowe'en 3 was justified when you think about the Leprechaun battle epics of the 60s, but yet again there was an uprising... |as usual|
"What we do in our spare time is none of your business! If we want to slaughter kids through the medium of evil masks so be it!" (Bertie O'hern 198887)
Many believe Hollywood script writers made up, "Top of the Mornin..." but yes the Irish actually say this.
The Titanic was indeed built in Belfast but the Titanic was actually torpedoed by the Welsh. They just wanted attention.
The Irish did invent the media but the Americans stole it of them and made programmes like Lost and Flash:forward so the Irish will become so confused by the intricate and interesting plotlines they'll never cross the ocean to take the media back.
Some Irish do love the American TV and would constantly quote Freinds and South Park. The Irish do thank their cousins for that. but for fucks sake the Irish hate justin bieber and sean kingston so get te fuck out of Ireland
edit Some Things Americans say about Ireland
With the USA being a very secluded and shy country most people are unaware of other cultures and think every where is just wierd and inferior. At least they're right about Ireland. Here is some common remarks and questions made by them
- Excuse me, where is the Leprechaun forest?
- I can't believe you all have cellphones!
- Excuse me but does this place have running water?
- Wow you people don't speak a word of American
- Where's all the spear-throwers and mud-flats?
- How's life after the famine?
- I'm not sure if you have this, but do you have decaff?
The Americans are much too intelligent for Ireland and therefore should generally stay away. Although many brave the harsh people and wasteland and take on a rich cultural experience. "Well I was just walking down this little dirt track, and this guy on a horse and cart went pats (sic) and he had,like, a tonne of manure on the cart," one tourist said," and I just couldn't believe it. I think he had a bit of whiskey though, he ran over and killed my daughter."
edit Why the Irish just about tolerate the Americans
After the great decision made by the prime minister and president of Ireland, all leprechauns where discriminated against and hunted. The valuable ginger hair they possess hold the secret to a never ending supply of gas and fuel. Thats why the Irish decided they must be destroyed and removed. Saint Patrick spoke of the disgrace and disregard shown to the 'Chauns," the wee fuckers, they've kept me waitin for that pot of gold for the last time," the Saint said, "im fucking starving here and these snakes dont feed themselves." Soon the leprechauns were driven to near distinction and the English decided to step in and set up camp so it wouldn't happen again. The Irish have since blamed the americans for not stickin up for them when they needed them the most. "After all the laughter and amusement we provided them," someone said, "and they just laugh some more!"
edit The Future
No the Americans will never change