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Hello, and welcome to Bear Talk. I'm your host, Bear.
Feel free to call me Bear. None of this "Mr. Bear" nonsense. Really... I'm uncomfortable with unnecessary formality. Plus, at least for me, I associate it with maulings. You know, when I'm about to chew off some guy's arm and he's screaming, "Please don't eat me Mr. Bear!"
As your new friend here, I think we can put that sort of power differential behind us, and just concentrate on getting to know each other. Naturally, if in the course of getting to know each other I should decide to make a light snack out of your left thigh, I won't hold it against you should you scream "Please don't eat me Mr. Bear!" as a completely reflexive response to threatening stimuli.
I'm at your disposal to answer any and all questions you might have, though I must warm you that the one about my duty in the woods is wearing thin.
Age: As old as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth. Likes: Long walks in the woods, chipmunks roasting on an open fire. Dislikes: Pedantic people. Name: Why the name "Bear"? Choose: (a) I'm a bear; (b) I'm just some other user in a costume, but the name suits me; or (c) Bear happened to be the featured article on the day I signed up. Please write you answer on the back of your hand, then mail your hand+ to:
Den by the large pine tree just left of the tall, pointy rock
+Arms in their entirety also accepted. Please remove your wristwatch first. I have a sensitive stomach and no health insurance.
So far, I've written:
Captain's log: It originally started as a re-write of another article, but when I noticed that it contained original photoshops that my article couldn't use, I forked my rewrite to another title and restored the original. I don't know if my version's funny (someone suggested it for VFH on the talk page!), but it's at least more than a list and a few pictures.