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This user is on vacation, holiday, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is sometime after the end of hibernation season. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.
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This user has tested positive for INTJ on the Myers-Briggs Test. Groovy, baby!

Earth Western Hemisphere This person helps reduce overpopulation by killing people, helping the environment.
CohoSalmon This user likes to eat fish.
Gefahrensymbol F This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.
Homeless2 This user is homeless.
C:\>_ This user contributes using DOS.
Biohazardnew This user is an evil clone of Todd Lyons.
Nuvola apps kdmconfig Greetings

Hello, and welcome to Bear Talk. I'm your host, Bear.

Nuvola apps bookcase About me

Feel free to call me Bear. None of this "Mr. Bear" nonsense. Really... I'm uncomfortable with unnecessary formality. Plus, at least for me, I associate it with maulings. You know, when I'm about to chew off some guy's arm and he's screaming, "Please don't eat me Mr. Bear!"


As your new friend here, I think we can put that sort of power differential behind us, and just concentrate on getting to know each other. Naturally, if in the course of getting to know each other I should decide to make a light snack out of your left thigh, I won't hold it against you should you scream "Please don't eat me Mr. Bear!" as a completely reflexive response to threatening stimuli.

I'm at your disposal to answer any and all questions you might have, though I must warm you that the one about my duty in the woods is wearing thin.

Fun Facts:

Age: As old as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth. Likes: Long walks in the woods, chipmunks roasting on an open fire. Dislikes: Pedantic people. Name: Why the name "Bear"? Choose: (a) I'm a bear; (b) I'm just some other user in a costume, but the name suits me; or (c) Bear happened to be the featured article on the day I signed up. Please write you answer on the back of your hand, then mail your hand+ to:

Den by the large pine tree just left of the tall, pointy rock
The Forest

+Arms in their entirety also accepted. Please remove your wristwatch first. I have a sensitive stomach and no health insurance.

Nuvola apps kate Bear droppings

So far, I've written:

  • Captain's log: It originally started as a re-write of another article, but when I noticed that it contained original photoshops that my article couldn't use, I forked my rewrite to another title and restored the original. I don't know if my version's funny (someone suggested it for VFH on the talk page!), but it's at least more than a list and a few pictures.
  • The Root of All Evil: My entry for the poo lit main contest (lost).
  • Fozzie Bear: My entry for the poo lit rewrite contest ("honorable mention").
  • Celebrity Death Match: Sucks. I just released it because its better to die in the woods on its feet, than waste away in captivity.
  • Oscar Mayer: The Man, The Meat, The Legend.
  • On a stick: Everything's better on a stick.

Great users who make my articles better: Claudius Prime, Mhaille, Prettiestpretty, Hardwick Fundlebuggy, Carlb

...Actually, I didn't write any of those. Todd Lyons did. Bastard. Should've eaten him when I had the chance.
Gnome-speakernotes Album I'm listening to

"Purple" by Stone Temple Pilots

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