User:Bear

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(tried to post this last night but Uncyc was down)
 
(10 intermediate revisions by 3 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
=The Truth, and An Apology=
+
{{title-left|<s> Bare </s> <s> Behr </s> <s> Beer </s> Bear}}
Well, it comes to this. I need to reveal that this is a sockpuppet account, originally begun to enter the ''[[Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise|Poo Lit Surprise]]'' contest, then subsequently as a warm-up suit to get myself back into the routine of writing again.
+
<!--Insert any headers below this line-->
  +
{{vacation|date=sometime after the end of hibernation season}}
  +
<!--Insert any headers above this line-->
  +
<div style="background: #F0F8FF; border: #C0C8FF solid 1px; padding: 5px;">
   
As [[User:Rcmurphy|RC]] said during the early planning, using socks for things like the PLS would be the most honest way to do things. It prevents names and reputations from creating undue influence in the judging, for better or for worse.
+
<div style="float: right; background: #FFFFFF; border: 1px solid #99B3FF; clear: right; padding: 4px 2px; width: 244px; margin: 10px 0 10px 10px;">
  +
<div style="text-align: center;">'''Userboxes'''</div>
   
I agreed, and when my month hiatus from Uncyclopedia meant I would be effectively unable to enter my PLS ideas, I gave some thought to using a sock. I even said so publically in the #uncyclopedia chat channel. I can't remember the whole disclosure, but my ending line was something like: "If you read something that sounds like me, it's probably me." And I confirmed with RC by private message that I was entering the contest.
+
<div style="height: 4px; clear: both;"></div>
  +
{{User Myers-Briggs|INTJ|. Groovy, baby!}}
  +
<div style="height: 4px; clear: both;"></div>
  +
{{User ecology-via-killing}}
  +
<div style="height: 4px; clear: both;"></div>
  +
<div style="float: left; border:solid #CCCCFF 1px; margin: 1px;">
  +
{| cellspacing="0" style="width: 238px; background: #F8F8FF;"
  +
| style="width: 45px; height: 45px; background: #FFFFFF; text-align: center; font-size: 14pt;" | [[Image:CohoSalmon.jpeg|43px]]
  +
| style="font-size:8pt;padding:4pt;line-height:1.25em;" | This user likes to eat '''[[fish]]'''.
  +
|}</div>
  +
<div style="height: 4px; clear: both;"></div>
  +
{{user Pillage}}
  +
<div style="height: 4px; clear: both;"></div>
  +
{{user Homeless}}
  +
</div>
   
I thought it would be completely obvious to everyone given my style of writing, and my personality, which is given to much praise and thank-yous to others where they are due. Unfortunately, no one really made the connection, and my articles started attracting attention. The only one who guessed was RC, because he knew I was entering.
+
<div style="background: #C0C8FF; font-weight: bold; font-size: 16px; padding: 2px;">[[Image:Nuvola apps kdmconfig.png|30px]] Greetings</div>
  +
Hello, and welcome to Bear Talk. I'm your host, [[Bear]].
   
I understand if there is anger and disappointment with me for this. I can only say that if you read the notes I've written to various people, it's still me. My appreciation for people is the same, even in my PLS bear suit. I just should have taken it off immediately, instead of using it for a week to practice writing stuff like [[On a stick]] and [[Oscar Mayer]].
+
<div style="background: #C0C8FF; font-weight: bold; font-size: 16px; padding: 2px; margin-top: 10px">[[Image:Nuvola apps bookcase.png|30px]] About me</div>
  +
Feel free to call me Bear. None of this "Mr. Bear" nonsense. Really... I'm uncomfortable with unnecessary formality. Plus, at least for me, I associate it with maulings. You know, when I'm about to chew off some guy's arm and he's screaming, "Please don't eat me Mr. Bear!"
  +
[[image:Bear-e2.jpg|left|100px]]
  +
As your new friend here, I think we can put that sort of power differential behind us, and just concentrate on getting to know each other. Naturally, if in the course of getting to know each other I should decide to make a light snack out of your left thigh, I won't hold it against you should you scream "Please don't eat me Mr. Bear!" as a completely reflexive response to threatening stimuli.
   
You're within your right to cross me off your friend list, or fill my talk page(s) with hate messages, or do whatever it is you need to do to express your feelings on this. I'm bad at using sockpuppets. I tried for the contest, and instead, it just became me all over again. I'm sorry to everyone, most especially [[User:Claudius Prime|Claudius Prime]], who will always be one of my favourite writers and human beings, and which is why I couldn't keep my hands off his excellent material before my "official" first day back here, May 1st.
+
I'm at your disposal to [[User talk:bear|answer]] any and all questions you might have, though I must warm you that the one about my duty in the woods is wearing thin.
   
--[[User:Bear|Bear]] 05:26, 5 May 2006 (UTC)
+
'''Fun Facts:'''
~ [[User:Todd Lyons|T]]. <small>([[User talk:Todd Lyons|talk]])</small> 05:27, 5 May 2006 (UTC)
 
   
:If anyone needs a confirmation, here it is. Todd told me he was entering the PLS under a different name, and confirmed that it was Bear when I guessed it during the judging period. One thing I'd like to point out is that, given Todd's previous history, any voter bias in the writing competition would most likely have been ''in his favor'', so if anything he was leveling the playing field for others by posting his entries anonymously. I consider that as good a justification for an extra account as anything, especially considering that it wasn't entirely secret anyway.
+
''Age:'' As old as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth. ''Likes:'' Long walks in the woods, chipmunks roasting on an open fire. ''Dislikes:'' Pedantic people. ''Name:'' Why the name "Bear"? Choose: (a) I'm a bear; (b) I'm just some other user in a costume, but the name ''suits'' me; ''or'' (c) [[Bear]] happened to be the featured article on the day I signed up. Please write you answer on the back of your hand, then mail your hand<sup>+</sup> to:
:If anybody is upset about this I urge you to go through Bear's contribs and look for anything approaching dishonesty, manipulation or abuse. I'm pretty confident that you won't find it. If anything - especially for Claudius and other people who have actively collaborated with Bear - this will just make things easier for you since you know exactly who you're dealing with.
+
{|
:That's it, basically. Full disclosure; full stop. {{user:Rcmurphy/sig}} 15:53, 5 May 2006 (UTC)
+
|align=center|''Bear''
  +
|-
  +
|align=center|''Den by the large pine tree just left of the tall, pointy rock''
  +
|-
  +
|align=center|''The Forest''
  +
|-
  +
|align=center|''Earth''
  +
|}
  +
<small><sup>+</sup>Arms in their entirety also accepted. Please remove your wristwatch first. I have a sensitive stomach and no health insurance.</small>
  +
  +
</div>
  +
[[Category:Bears]]

Latest revision as of 19:11, July 20, 2011

Energy
This user is on vacation, holiday, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is sometime after the end of hibernation season. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.
Userboxes
Mikemyers

This user has tested positive for INTJ on the Myers-Briggs Test. Groovy, baby!

Earth Western Hemisphere This person helps reduce overpopulation by killing people, helping the environment.
CohoSalmon This user likes to eat fish.
Gefahrensymbol F This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.
Homeless2 This user is homeless.
Nuvola apps kdmconfig Greetings

Hello, and welcome to Bear Talk. I'm your host, Bear.

Nuvola apps bookcase About me

Feel free to call me Bear. None of this "Mr. Bear" nonsense. Really... I'm uncomfortable with unnecessary formality. Plus, at least for me, I associate it with maulings. You know, when I'm about to chew off some guy's arm and he's screaming, "Please don't eat me Mr. Bear!"

Bear-e2

As your new friend here, I think we can put that sort of power differential behind us, and just concentrate on getting to know each other. Naturally, if in the course of getting to know each other I should decide to make a light snack out of your left thigh, I won't hold it against you should you scream "Please don't eat me Mr. Bear!" as a completely reflexive response to threatening stimuli.

I'm at your disposal to answer any and all questions you might have, though I must warm you that the one about my duty in the woods is wearing thin.

Fun Facts:

Age: As old as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth. Likes: Long walks in the woods, chipmunks roasting on an open fire. Dislikes: Pedantic people. Name: Why the name "Bear"? Choose: (a) I'm a bear; (b) I'm just some other user in a costume, but the name suits me; or (c) Bear happened to be the featured article on the day I signed up. Please write you answer on the back of your hand, then mail your hand+ to:

Bear
Den by the large pine tree just left of the tall, pointy rock
The Forest
Earth

+Arms in their entirety also accepted. Please remove your wristwatch first. I have a sensitive stomach and no health insurance.

Personal tools
projects