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Barely O'Bama is beyond doubt the most handsome and interesting person to have ever graced the face of the earth. He loathes tobacco. His education is only surpassed by his absolute knowledge of everything he can possibly imagine. Not hindered by conventional facts, he is able to gleen the true story behind the story, using the vast resources of the internet, chili peppers, whole garlic, caffine, lysergic acid diethylimide, and tetrahydrocannabinol. This is tempered with Blue Moon beer and extra sharp Vermont Cheddar. This diet is not recommended for schizophrenics or Mormons. It can cause one to fart with great relish. (And the occasional brown mustard.) Most of his friends do not claim him, and are known to draw the blinds when they hear his pimp mobile approach and the horn on the car blare out "la cucuracha". He wanders the globe in search of the best smoke.