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Hierophant Aristotle I ($#@%-????) (not to be confused with Aristotle, God of Satire) was the founder of the Southwestern Orthodox Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and His Noodly Appendage (SWOCoFSM&HNA).

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In $#@%, commonly known as the Year of Fuck, Aristotle of Spagon was born to Captain Mosey and an unknown Wench, with whom Captain Mosey had had an affair.

Aristotle, or Aris as he was commonly known during his childhood, grew up to love the sea, for his father, who was the greatest Pirate of that day and age, brought him along on many treasure-hunting voyages. Unfortunately, at the age of five, Aris was diagnosed with ADHD, a fatal disease which eventually resulted in death.

I'm having some ADHD
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