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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

*...that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
  • ...that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
  • ...that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
  • ...that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
  • ...that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
  • ...that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
  • ...that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?

In the news

On this day...

March 5: Festival of Violent Spasms (Turkey)
  • 1337 - You are alive.
  • 1914 - Preparations to the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way
  • 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today. Death tolls are still rising.
  • 1991 - Emperor George Bush Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii.
  • 1999 - Party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues.
  • 2006 - Party nearly ends. Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues.
  • 2008 - Ten years after aliens from outer space destroyed a significant portion of the United States, including cities such as New York City and Washington, D.C., the world is still recovering from the damage. World leaders are still shaking hands, albeit carefully, and actor Will Smith has vowed to "kick E.T.'s ass" should Earth ever be invaded again.
  • 5997 - End of the World. Turks Party in Heaven, with Allah and Jesus
  • 6666 - In Soviet Russia, Turkey Party's YOU!!
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

America nrv2

One of God's many duties involves making sure all the world's contributions are of an acceptable standard. Unfortunately this involves the tedious task of clearing out a large amount of crap every so often. Dissidents who note that this stamping and clearing arbitrarily kills millions are placed on the "naughty" list.

Image Credit: Spang
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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