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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

*...that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ...that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ...that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ...that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ...that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ...that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ...that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?

In the news

On this day...

PrezNoid

December 28: Penis Appreciation Day (Not Lesbos), Day of the Not-so-Innocents (Spain, Portugal, South America)

  • 23 - Penis apreciation day invented by Jesus. Not realising his mate Judas and the entire roman army was less well hung he would regret it one day.
  • 1963 - Paul Hindemith's pancreas explode, killing him a second time and 36 others a first time as he flew over Lakewurst, New Jersey. The music community rejoices once more.
  • 2004 - Deciding they also liked Mondays superheroes planned a combined assault on Bob Geldoff. After an hour of the Hoff's singing and Mr T's pittying the devastating blow came when Darth Vader told Geldoff who his father was. This caused him to spontaneously combust all over Pauline Fowlers scowl.
  • 2006 - Uncyclopedians lose count at the sheer number of anniversaries with Penises in them.
  • 2007 - World economy goes into meltdown as penis appreciation day lasts until August 15th 2008. This only ends when lesbians attempt to seize control of the earth. Millions would die in the conflict
  • 2009 - It is rumoured that Bob geldoff will return to fight the final battle between good and evil one day. The Vatican, the CIA and Micheal Stipe all deny this.
  • 2072 - America elects its new Emperor, The Noid.
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Hand grenade

The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Image Credit: Mosquitopsu
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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