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This user is on vacation, holiday, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is the 1st of September. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.

Clock This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
2 years, 10 months and 4 days.

ru-N This user is a native speaker of Русский.
uk-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Correct English.
fr-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Français.
Answer to Life My edits: 12,618

DogNewspaper This person is an UnSignpost Editor. He knows nothing of the outside world.
Commander of the Order
RRRRRR This user is Russian
...and unabashedly indifferent to it!
(List of Russian Uncyclopedians)

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for something else?

No, this is not me. This is my worst enemy - antoneater.

Here I am, Anton199 or simply Anton, creating my user page. I am far away from a professional Uncyclopedian but I have already spent some time here, created several articles as well as problems and headache. And I feel like I can give some advice to those who actually need them.

My biopic contribution can be found at Unsignpost:UserBiopics - 2013, if you want to know even more about me.


I have begun my Uncyclopedia career on the second of April, by editing a vanity article which, in addition to this, was in another user's space. Several hours of my life have gone missing and any kind of a result was not visible. But life is not that simple, and the same day I have done something useful: created an article on Probability theory which was finished (as I thought) 2 days later. This is when I have first met heard of received messages from Spike, the first person who introduced me to the Uncyclopedia. Then I have completely run out of ideas about my future work.

I found inspiration while reading Spike's user page where he said that he began writing articles about places where he has lived. I haven't lived in Normandy, but this doesn't matter as I have visited it and know a bit of its history. This was enough to begin writing my second article. During my work on it, I have gained acquaintance of ScottPat (for more information, see section "People whom I know on Uncyclopedia"). After seeing my article getting fully edited and rephrased by Spike, I understood that I am not talented in writing and I lost all my enthusiasm. This was the second period of the Great Depression.

I don't know how I finally regained all my inspiration, but I did and, after editing Normandy even more, I have created my third article which is my user page. The period of busy work followed: I wrote about 8 more articles, many Pee Reviews, helped with and even created several UnSignposts. Another significant moment was when I discovered the existence of the fork and began editing there, as both of the sites need help.

I currently have rollbacks, am rather active and have collaborated with at least three users.

My contribution

1. Articles I wrote

2. Articles to which I have contributed:

3. Pee Reviews I made;

4. UnSignposts.

Articles I like

Newspaper article

The type of articles I like.

What I really like, is when an article is trustworthy as well as funny (for example, don't write that Africa is the hottest country in the world, it is not true, as Africa is not a country); funny as well as trustworthy, and finally don't have swearing, racism, discrimination and any language mistakes (although, I have some, myself).

Articles that need to be created or rewritten

User:Anton199/Ideas for articles

Signature Parodies

Below is the list of the signatures I made that parody other users' signatures. If anyone wants me to parody his signature, than I will be willing to do this.

  1. Denza (The Shield of Azunai DSA510My Edits!; The Shield of Ozone ANT199M.E. (My Edits)!)
  2. IFYMB! ( IFYMB! Panda Porn? Unicorn Burger?; YMIFBI? Salad Porn? Panda Steak? )
  3. Romartus (LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® ; USSR CoatHomArtus*Decorator IrishTagRugbyAssociation (Donate) @ )
  4. Scott (Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY; Sir PataScott (on his head) Union Jack and USSR Scottish flag night Black ninja star VFD UnS Not Me (What?))
  5. Spike (Spıke Ѧ ; User:Anton199/sig/Parody/Spike)

My humor techniques

Actually it is not me who invented those techniques but I like using them and I have invented names for them (before they have been unnamed).

  1. Link-playing: all the articles need to have internal links otherwise their creator will find a lot of challenges. But instead of simply redirecting you from the word Russia to the article on Russia, I like playing with them. For example, if you need to make a link from the word, let's say, "perfect", you can redirect the reader to the article about nothing (like I did right now). This will make sense and will make your reader smile (at least) when he will click on the link.
  2. Wrong logic: you use several true facts to deduce the conclusion (the wrong one) which is supposed to be funny. An example of an article where I used this technique is:
  • Normandy: see the beginning of the "History" about cavemen and Vikings.


  • First of all, try to make your text contain several jokes (one per paragraph is very good). If your article is very long but has only one main joke, it will soon bore the reader. If your jokes don't work, don't abandon them, try to rephrase your sentences: someone a joke is not funny because it is badly transmitted to the reader.
  • Some people seem to have problems with improving their article: on Uncyclopedia there are a lot of creations which are good or bad but on which no one works, they are not waiting for a Pee Review and they are not on Votes For Highlight. If you have doubts about your quality, ask other user to review your work; if you don't, then nominate it!

And these are the advices other people gave to me and which I found very useful:

  • Spike: Be sure your purpose here is to amuse the reader and not to teach him.
  • ScottPat: Don't give up on the article. Just rethink it. Start again and make it funny.
  • Spike: You attribute [the quote] to Oscar Wilde--surely not because it's funny but because you've seen it sprinkled on a thousand other Uncyclopedia pages--though it has nothing to do with Oscar Wilde... Be funny; don't pursue humor by imitating. If it's not gay, don't make it a Wildeism.

Templates and Awards

User:Anton199/Templates and Awards


  • Spike, the admin, a person who introduced me to Uncyclopedia. He taught me all the most important lessons about the articles and how to write them. If you think that my articles are funny which is not probable, that is because of Spike's help. He is one of the rare people who use perfect English and makes grammar mistakes only deliberately. He helped me with almost every single article that I created.
  • ChiefjusticeDS is the admin who has recently come back here. Thanks for the great review of Redirect!
  • Romartus, the admin and the page master. He greatly helped me with Anna Pavlova (ballet dancer), Berlin Wall and Probability theory.
  • ScottPat, the first non-admin who greeted me and also helped me with the Normandy article. ScottPat, as he himself said, is rather a new Uncyclopedian, but he is extremely active: he wrote more than 20 articles in less than a month! He also introduced me to UnSignpost where he is the main editor. We also collaborate together: rewrote Ukraine and rewriting Napoleonic Wars.
  • V V I P, my friend, also a new user. The fact that I am actually wasting my time present on Uncyclopedia is because of his deep knowledge of the Internet.
  • Reverend P. Pennyfeather, the only one and one of the greatest proofreaders ever. He helped me with Ukraine and Normandy but I have seen how much he has done on Uncyclopedia.

So, thanks to all these people, I am here, I am actually creating something and what I am creating is not a poor work with bad grammar.

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