User:Anton199

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Puzzlepotato aqua Nominated Noob of the Moment
This user has been nominated for Noob of the Moment — you can vote for them or nominate your favourite users at Uncyclopedia:Noob of the Moment.  
Clock This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
 1 year, 4 months and 19 days.

ru-N This user is a native speaker of Русский.
uk-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Correct English.
fr-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Français.
Answer to Life My edits: 10,530


DogNewspaper This person is an UnSignpost Editor. He knows nothing of the outside world.


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Anteater

No, this is not me. This is my worst enemy - antoneater.

Here I am, Anton199 or simply Anton, creating my user page. I am far away from a professional Uncyclopedian but I have already spent some time here, created several articles as well as problems and headache. And I feel like I can give some advice to those who actually need them.

What I basically do on Uncyclopedia:

  • Arguing (very rarely because I always try to find compromise)
  • Writing articles (about one per month because they take a lot of time and I don't really have it)
  • Writing Pee Reviews (about one per two weeks)
  • Participating in VFH and VFD (once per week)
  • Trying to help other users, respond on my talk page, participate in forums (almost always)

History

I have begun my Uncyclopedia career on the second of April, by editing a vanity article which, in addition to this, was in another's user's space. Several hours of my life have gone missing without purpose. But the life is not that simple, and the same day I have done something useful: created an article on Probability theory which was finished 2 days later. This is when I have first met heard of received messages from Spike, the first person introducing me to the Uncyclopedia. Then I have completely run out of ideas.

I found inspiration while reading Spike's user page where he said that he began writing articles about places where he has lived. I haven't lived in Normandy, but this doesn't matter as I have visited it and know a bit of its history. This was enough to begin writing my second article. During my work on it, I have gained acquaintance of ScottPat (for more information, see section "People whom I know on Uncyclopedia"). After seeing my article getting fully edited and rephrased by Spike, I understood that I am not talented in writing and I lost all my enthusiasm. This was the second period of the Great Depression.

I don't know how I finally regained all my inspiration, but I did and, after editing Normandy even more, I have created my third article which is my user page.

Right now I know a lot more about Uncyclopedia then before and really consider it a very good project which helps to build creativity and humor writing skills as well making people laugh. I have discovered several very interesting projects within Uncyclopedia such as Pee Reviews and UnSignpost. My first article, "Probability theory" has been featured.

Reason for being [here]

Me, personally, I am not leaving Uncyclopedia, because I think that with the help of all the users, this project can have a great future. What I picture in mind, when I envision this great future, is that one day Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia will almost be twin brothers, having the same wiki formatting, articles almost about everything and great users. The only difference will be that where Wiki will inform us, Uncyc will make us laugh!

This is a utopia because Uncyclopedia cannot have several millions of all funny articles, and it is good because otherwise, it won't be very interesting. But what I really want to happen, is that the project will have more writers and a great deal of funny pages, so it can actually become something entertaining for the whole world.

Well, this is also a utopia and is probably not going to work.

Ok, being completely serious and mature about my dreams and wishes, my real one on Uncyclopedia is to watch people laugh and laugh with them!

Articles

Articles I wrote

Anteater
This is the navigation template for:
Anton. I have no idea why you want to navigate me, though.
Something you may call writing
Reviews
Ninjastars, cookies etc.
Random
Userboxes
Not to forget
Games

Written

Art, literature and cinematography
Countries and regions
History
  • Cossacks (collaboration with ScottPat); Featured (7:0);
  • Napoleonic Wars (collaboration with ScottPat; Spike, Romartus and Shabidoo helped a lot); Featured (6.5:0);
HowTo guides
By John Brown
Maths and science
Religion
UnBooks
Other

Rewritten

Half- and quarter-rewrites

  1. Berlin Wall - Featured (9:0); Third Best Article of 2013
  2. Hey Jude - Featured (7:0); (polishing)
  3. Ambiguity - Featured (7:0)
  4. UnBooks:A Post-Apocalyptic Journal
  5. Cheka - Featured (6:0); (worked on it together with Spike)
  6. This page cannot be found (Maniac1075's page, to which I made a couple of edits)

Unfinished

See User:Anton199/NotToForget

Articles to which I have contributed

  1. Belgian Mountain Troops (ScottPat's work);
  2. Lord Sutch (ScottPat's work);
  3. Flemish (ScottPat's work);
  4. Emu War (ScottPat's work);
  5. HowTo:Walk on Saturn without falling over (ScottPat's work);
  6. Express kidnapping (DarthMoogle's work);
  7. Erwin Schrödinger (Grammmamslam's work);
  8. Quadruple Agent (DarthMoogle's work);
  9. Commanism: in grammar (ScottPat's work);
  10. The Last King of Scotland (ScottPat's work).

Articles I like

Newspaper article

The type of articles I like.

What I really like, is when an article is trustworthy as well as funny (for example, don't write that Africa is the hottest country in the world, it is not true, as Africa is not a country); funny as well as trustworthy, and finally don't have swearing, racism, discrimination and any language mistakes (although, I have some, myself).

Articles that need to be created or rewritten

User:Anton199/Ideas for articles

My humor techniques

Actually it is not me who invented those techniques but I like using them and I have invented names for them (before they have been unnamed).

  1. Link-playing: all the articles need to have internal links otherwise their creator will find a lot of challenges. But instead of simply redirecting you from the word Russia to the article on Russia, I like playing with them. For example, if you need to make a link from the word, let's say, "perfect", you can redirect the reader to the article about nothing (like I did right now). This will make sense and will make your reader smile (at least) when he will click on the link.
  2. Wrong logic: you use several true facts to deduce the conclusion (the wrong one) which is supposed to be funny. An example of an article where I used this technique is:
  • Normandy: see the beginning of the "History" about cavemen and Vikings.

Advice

  • First of all, try to make your text contain several jokes (one per paragraph is very good). If your article is very long but has only one main joke, it will soon bore the reader. If your jokes don't work, don't abandon them, try to rephrase your sentences: someone a joke is not funny because it is badly transmitted to the reader.
  • Some people seem to have problems with improving their article: on Uncyclopedia there are a lot of creations which are good or bad but on which no one works, they are not waiting for a Pee Review and they are not on Votes For Highlight. If you have doubts about your quality, ask other user to review your work; if you don't, then nominate it!

And these are the advices other people gave to me and which I found very useful:

  • Spike: Be sure your purpose here is to amuse the reader and not to teach him.
  • ScottPat: Don't give up on the article. Just rethink it. Start again and make it funny.
  • Spike: You attribute [the quote] to Oscar Wilde--surely not because it's funny but because you've seen it sprinkled on a thousand other Uncyclopedia pages--though it has nothing to do with Oscar Wilde... Be funny; don't pursue humor by imitating. If it's not gay, don't make it a Wildeism.

My templates and awards

“A person should be modest enough in order not to yell "It's me! It's me!", when a teacher asks the class about the author of a painting. It might turn out that the artwork was actually made on the wall of the school.”
~ Anton justifying himself if he is too modest or not modest enough (that's how you choose)

Templates I have created:

User:Anton199/Template:Article2

Awards I have received:


Acknowledgements

  • Spike, the admin, a person who introduced me to Uncyclopedia. He taught me all the most important lessons about the articles and how to write them. If you think that my articles are funny which is not probable, that is because of Spike's help. He is one of the rare people who use perfect English and makes grammar mistakes only deliberately. He helped me with almost every single article that I created.
  • ChiefjusticeDS is the admin who has recently come back here. Thanks for the great review of Redirect!
  • Romartus, the admin and the page master. He greatly helped me with Anna Pavlova (ballet dancer), Berlin Wall and Probability theory.
  • ScottPat, the first non-admin who greeted me and also helped me with the Normandy article. ScottPat, as he himself said, is rather a new Uncyclopedian, but he is extremely active: he wrote more than 20 articles in less than a month! He also introduced me to UnSignpost where he is the main editor. We also collaborate together: rewrote Ukraine and rewriting Napoleonic Wars.
  • V V I P, my friend, also a new user. The fact that I am actually wasting my time present on Uncyclopedia is because of his deep knowledge of the Internet.
  • Reverend P. Pennyfeather, the only one and one of the greatest proofreaders ever. He helped me with Ukraine and Normandy but I have seen how much he has done on Uncyclopedia.

So, thanks to all these people, I am here, I am actually creating something and what I am creating is not a poor work with bad grammar.

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