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No, this is not me. This is my worst enemy - antoneater.

Here I am, Anton199 or simply Anton, creating my user page. I am far away from a professional Uncyclopedian but I have already spent some time here, created several articles as well as problems and headache. And I feel like I can give some advice to those who are even newer than I am (who don't know anything about Uncyclopedia).

Articles I wrote

Articles to which I have contributed

None. As all of the users whose work I modified, deleted all my contribution soon.


I have begun my Uncyclopedia career on the second of April, by editing a vanity article which, in addition to this, was in another's user's space. Several hours of my life have gone missing without purpose. But the life is not that simple, and the same day I have done something useful created an article on Probability theory which was finished 2 days later. This is when I have first met heard of received messages from Spike, the first person introducing me to the Uncyclopedia. Then I have completely run out of ideas.

I found inspiration while reading Spike's user page where he said that he began writing articles about places where he has lived. I haven't lived in Normandy, but this doesn't matter as I have visited it and know a bit of its history. This was enough to begin writing my second article. During my work on it, I have gained acquaintance of ScottPat (for more information, see section "People whom I know on Uncyclopedia"). After seeing my article getting fully edited and rephrased by Spike, I understood that I am not talented in writing and I lost all my enthusiasm. This was the second period of the Great Depression.

I don't know how I finally regained all my inspiration, but I did and, after editing Normandy even more, I have created my third article which is my user page.


  • Spike, the admin, a person who introduced me to Uncyclopedia. He taught me basic information about the articles and how to write them. If you think that my articles are funny which is not probable, that is because of Spike's help. He is one of the rare people who use perfect English and makes grammar mistakes only deliberately.
  • ScottPat, the first non-admin who greeted me and also helped me with the Normandy article. ScottPat, as he himself said, is rather a new Uncyclopedian, but he is extremely active: more than 20 articles in less than a month! He also introduced me to UnSignpost for which I am subscribed and where he is a journalist.
  • V V I P, my friend, also a new user. The fact that I am actually wasting my time present on Uncyclopedia is because of his deep knowledge of the Internet.

So, thanks to all these people, I am here and I am actually creating something.

Articles I like

Newspaper article

The type of articles I like.

What I really like, is when an article is trustworthy as well as funny (for example, don't write that Africa is the hottest country in the world, it is not true, as Africa is not a country); funny as well as trustworthy, and finally don't have swearing, racism, discrimination and any language mistakes (although, I have some, myself).


First of all, try to make your text contain several jokes (one per paragraph is very good). If your article is very long but has only one main joke, it will soon bore the reader. If your jokes don't work, don't abandon them, try to rephrase your sentences: someone a joke is not funny because it is badly transmitted to the reader. Finally, these are the advices other people gave to me and which I found very useful:

  • Spike: Be sure your purpose here is to amuse the reader and not to teach him.
  • ScottPat: Don't give up on the article. Just rethink it. Start again and make it funny.
  • Spike: You attribute [the quote] to Oscar Wilde--surely not because it's funny but because you've seen it sprinkled on a thousand other Uncyclopedia pages--though it has nothing to do with Oscar Wilde... Be funny; don't pursue humor by imitating. If it's not gay, don't make it a Wildeism.
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