From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Bonzi Prophecies were a series of books scribed in 1973 by Bonzi BUDDY, as well as how to make cheddar cheese out of hacksaws and jelly. Horatio wrote the original scripture whilst possesed by the Anti-Bonzi, and where written with Horatio's own urine. They where given only to his most trusted comrades, so only the ones he found where ready for the Holy Land would know about the Prophecies. Horatio made 13 copies of the book, each he written out without Spell checking, which took 2 months. All where written in Wikiese, and so it is bearly translate-able.. The books chronicle the supposed rise to power of
However, as of 7/07/2015, 6 of the books have been found, oddly all in the United kingdom of Amerika. The books where then hid in a gay sauna, and was covered in Burger King sauce in order to keep them away from Bonzi. One of the books was sold on ebay in December 2009, and the auction was won by That Guy.
edit Notable extracts
Taken from Verses 1:27:
On the thirteenth day of the first month, Two Thousand and Forty-five years after death, Bonzi BUDDY will rise out of the bowels of hell and walk the earth, spreading fear and horror wherever he goes.
Taken from Verses 6:66
And the Ubergrue did back down, to devastated to battle longer. Bonzi will spread his suffering all over the earth, and with millions trembling at his knees, he was at a greater power level than the gods.