In Los Angeles, Paris Hilton released a new line of perfume, known as Cum Dumpster. The name suggests, that it smells like sperm, diarrhoea, balls and vomit all mixed up into something terrible. The release was so unsuccessful that it was later pulled off the shelves due to controversies surrounding it. One person said "This stuff is horrible and should be pulled off from the shelves!". But there are other people who liked it. One customer said: "It smells like sex! Seriously, it does." Meanwhile, the Pope today launched a campaign against Paris Hilton. The maker of this perfume, Durex, declined to comment, since their shares plummet by 200 points due to these controversies.
Uncyclopedia is the worst, says PM of Australia Kevin Rudd
Recently, Kevin Rudd claimed that Uncyclopedia is the worst. In his statement when he was at his speech in Beijing, China, he said "Uncyclopedia is the worst. They put up articles of disgust, nonsense and rudeness. Fuck Uncyclopedia!" Then he went on to say how Uncyclopedia is bad. He also said "Illogicopedia is nonsensical, but much better than Uncyclopedia. Even Wikipedia doesn't have anything disgusting on it, despite articles about rude words and high amounts of double standards". As the people of JNNN TV Anda, we totally disagree on Mr Rudd's comments on Uncyclopedia. People should realise that this great website is a parody. Hail Cthulhu! We apologised to Mr Rudd for our comments.
Controversy rises on JNNN TV Anda, with the clip "Get a New One" released
In Youtube, a wave of controversies happened when the song "Get a New One" was uploaded to Youtube, stirring hundreds of lawsuits, boycotts and legal threats on JNNN TV Anda. The main reason for this is that people didn't realise that it's a parody of Eminem's song "Lose Yourself". What stupid bastards.
"They complain a parody for stealing music? For God's sake, "Weird Al" Yankovic wasn't complained on!", says the CEO of JNNN TV Anda. The video was removed from Youtube a day later.
Sonic Fever Hits Uncyclopedia
For the first time in 18 years since the first Sonic game came to the USA in 1991, Sonic Fever had spread far and wide, and the age of Sonic started. The Age of Sonic ran from 1993-1998. By 2001, Sonic is way past its time. People started to not care about Sonic. Then in 2008, a surge in Sonic Mania started again, but this time, on the internet. It reached Uncyclopedia in 2009. Experts in Uncyclopedia determined that Mario Fever will come next in two years, then Pokémon Fever in the next 3 years. Enzo Aquarius declined to comment, for he is too busy for an interview. JNNN TV Anda reporters imagined he'd probably have said something about Rouge the Bat being "hawt".
Twilight is the worst
JNNN TV Anda has one thing to say about the book/film Twilight in three words: It sucked balls. At least the Pokémon series ain't that bad. Look, we even love Pokémon. I mean, 25% of JNNN TV Anda's employees loved Pokémon. And 1% loved Twilight. So, suck!
Earth Hour destroys Uncyclopedia
Recently, JNNN TV Anda witnessed the destruction of Uncyclopedia. It was horrible! When New York City was destroyed completely, Tokyo, on the other hand, was exploded by an atomic bomb dropped by China. No one knows why, but the real culprit behind it is none other but the Premier Wen Jiabao of the PRC.
Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it?
It has been about a year and a half since Uncyclopedia's once shining usergroup network stopped operating and became extinct. As ever in such circumstances, conspiracy theories have quickly sprung up to explain how this could have happened. Some say that when Chronarion left Uncyclopedia to focus on another project, he left it to the Wikia staff to do all the patrolling, which caused Uncyclopedia's domain name to be changed in October 2008, and the user groups were left to rot with no activity, like the Hittites did when they destroyed their own city and left. Others say that UNSOC killed off every other usergroup, from the Grue Army to UNATO, and had a monopoly on the usergroups. Whether the theories are true or not, the usergroups appear to have all but died.
In January 2009, archaeologists from the Philippines dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader Necropaxx was heard to observe "UNSOC has about ∞.5 or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers".
The non-existent Cabal have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously.