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Manatee People are organisms that obviously are half Human and half Manatee. Not to be confused with Humatees or Manans, for those following names are not creative and sound fucking ridiculous. It is known that Cubans are in fact Manatee people in disguise, trying to immigrate to America, via floating door, in search for editing or deleting this article to keep their existance secret from people who have too much spare time and read articles like this.
Manatee People were first created when a man (Bill Clinton), had the idea of having sex with a Manatee, and actually did such a thing. the manatee defied the laws of genetics, and produced the first Manatee Person. Born with both types of genetalia, it impregnated itself, produced another, and another and so on. So Manatee people are actually asexual beings. 1 year after the first Manatee Person was born, there were over 90 million Manatee People. Although they are virtually harmless, the White Man started taking their land, raping their women, and killing them for their fine fur coat. But one day, the Manatee People uprised, and declared war on the humans, sparking the MANatee Wars.(ha, get it? MANatee, because the name of the war is a pun.) The Manatee people went on a rampage, killing all Minorities that lived in rural areas (thats why you dont see many black kids at your smalltown school). The war is still going on today, but is kept top secret by the Government. Oh the HUMANATEE!! (its funny because there is a word called humanity, and this article is about manatee people, hence the word HUMANATEE, for those who do not understand puns).
What to do during a HUMANic Manatee Person uprise
You will be alright if:
1. you are not a minority living in a rural area.
2. you do NOT live in Florida.
3. you get off your computer, and quit wasting your time reading this crap.
- Their main weakness is being ran over by a motorboat. ALTHOUGH thats their weakness, the fact that they are also part human, means they can operate motorboats, killing anyone in the water.
- Another weakness is/are Poachers. Poachers have the ability to leggo my eggo and illegaly kill Manatees/Manatee People, along with many other endangered animals, and sell their hides/ivory/penis on the Black Market. It is best that during a HUMANic Manatee Person uprise, you are either a poacher, or friends with one. (hopefully he can drive a boat)
- It has been scientifically proven that pollution decimates the Manatee Person population. So dump all your old oil, plastic objects, and trash in a body of water nearest to you.
- Nuclear Holocaust. self explanitory; may include a side effect of destroying all life in a Holocausted region. FAIL.
- This article. it exposes their existance.
- You can kill them by removing the head, or destorying the brain. Ill repeat; by removing the head, or destroying the brain.
Notable Manatee People
- Oprah (she is in fact just a manatee in general. Makeup cannot hide the truth!!!)
- The black guy from Scrubs