|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
12 October 2011
United States, seattle -- Bill Gates boasted on twitter today about windows mobile's latest feature, the ability to directly communicate with Steve Jobs's ghost via skype. He then posted a video on youtube, which shows him laughing in Jobs's face for 17 minuites while taking a dump on a print out of Apples stock price, followed by the full cinimatic version of Toy Story, edited to clearly show the main charerector Woody using a Zune in every shot. This comes the day after the technology world was left staggered, after Gates revealed that after buying a portfolio of patents at a boot sale he had inadvertantly purchased the rights to Steve Job's soul and existence, leaving Gates with the ability to kill him off ironicly for his and loyal windows devotee's pleasure, then keep him in limbo, peforming mundane tasks for windows users.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|