User:Andy of Comix, Inc./Von Crackens Fat

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This page seems to indulge itself in images, stereotypes and crazy animations. However, it derives itself of any templates. If you would kindly help this article, then maybe I won't yell at you.
Von Crackens Fat

He's so cool! Oh yeah, he has street cred and he ain't afraid to use none of it.

“Years of searching and I've finally found my father...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Darth Vader
“He is Fat, and a Von Crackens”
~ Captain Obvious on Von Crackens Fat

Baron Von Crackens Fat is the best German stereotype to date. He flies a plane, sells drugs, is fat, and is a baron. He was born to two funny Germans with silly German accents (probably the same Germans in Beerfest.) He then moved on to become the worst crime baron since that fat shit in the Jak II: Renegade game.

edit Video Game Appearances


Yay!! Von Crackens Fat!!

Von Crackens Fat is most famous for his legendary appearance in Need for weed, which won him an Oscar. In this game he was conveyed as a Crime Lord, and he gathered money for Jabba the Hutt. The game did very poorly. A sequel was released that also did terrible, receiving 0/0 reveiws.

Von Crackens Fat wanted to continue appearing in video games when he realised that there was lots of money involved. He did a bit of voice work for the GTA games. After shopping around a bit he wrapped up some acting for the latest instalment of Halo. Then Von Crackens Fat retired to become a crime lord again.

edit Crime

Von Crackens Fat stole a guitar! OMG! Then he used to to beat up Smashing Pumpkin! OMFG! Then he beat up Justin Timberlake! Good for him, actually, Smashing Pumkin was popular in 1996 and Justin Timberlake looks like a little bitch. Everyone on this Uncyclopedia page probably isn't laughing at that. Hey, this page is crap. How can I put it any other way. Its terrible.

edit Black Kids


He kills black kids for fun. Bastard.


We know. We just don't care.

edit Fat Kid Cobversation

--Comix, Inc. 23:59, 26 July 2007 (UTC) has a conversation with a fat kid.

Deviosudan: Hello, fat kid.


Fat Kid: Hello.

Deviousdan: Why do you jump up and down like that? Are you a retard of sorts?


Fat Kid: No!!

Deviousdan: Then, why? Why would you do that??


Fat Kid: I just smoked a whole bunch of crack!!

Deviousdan: Great! That's awesome! I'm to young to know what that means, but that's imatateable.

that is all lol

What? You looking for some kind of "prize"? You can have this. Its free. Take it.


It's for you. You are retarded.

This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this fact.
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