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Born Shamus McGillacutty, AnalAlien has struggled with bouts of depression for nearly 60 seconds. Other than this temporary loss of sanity, he/she doesn't give a rats ass about anything.

edit Biography

A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. Wait a minute! That's not the right bio!


  • ... sucked his/her thumb throughout most of his/her childhood.
  • ... is really a 12-year-old boy mascarading as a middle-aged woman mascarading as a 12-year-old boy.
  • ... is skilled at nothing, yet claims to be an expert on just about everything.
  • ... will do almost anything for a piece of Godiva chocolate.
  • ... fantasizes frequently about celebrities and big attractive muscular black men. (Hint: doesn't know any, but fantasizes nonetheless.)

edit Strange Works of Fiction

AnalAlien would like to take credit for other people's work, but can't muster up the balls to do so. Unfortunately, the following works of creativity have been blessed by this erstwhile tragic figure.

edit Photographic Marvels

  • Jesus-juice-classic
  • Seacrest-out
  • Fordsux, along with all of the license plate images on this page.

edit Fantastical Elaborations

  • Bar Mitzvah - This is totally my fault.
  • Blog - An orphan, I adopted it and raised it as my own.
  • Jewish - This one started out as someone else's uncircumcized stub, but then I massaged it until it grew.
  • McDonalds - This one was just a McNugget by someone with ptomaine poisoning. I added more than a few fries.
  • Ryan Seacrest - Need I say more?
  • Tucson - I had to get this out of my system as I was going totally insane.

edit Misinterpreted Definitions

edit Raucous Editing

AnalAlien contributes snippets of questionable wisdom, odd blurts and misunderstandings, nonsensical ramblings and other crapola to uncyclopedia on a semi-irregular basis. On the other hand, if you are caught editing this bio, I will smack the crap out of you. And I'll enjoy it. (shutters, breathes heavily) I'll enjoy it immensely, with fava beans. (ha fa fa fa fa fa fa)

Here is a short list of articles AnalAlien has massacred:

edit Famous Quotes by Other People

Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true -- Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side

This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
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