User:Aleister in Chains/oz

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HowTo:Kill two birds

Everytime I go out in public I have sex. Just walking down the street to the post office is good for two or three orgasms. And I tweet and twitter and twist to gather a crowd.

Me and my friend Buffity practice dogging, the art of playing the monkey in public.

Simulation hypothesis

edit Ultimate Twister


Body part, your immortal soul. Dot, infinity. Whoops! Ultimate Twister gangham style.

In 2012 two tech students from MIT teamed up with dozens of bored janitors at Microsoft and invented Ultimate Twister. UT uses the same equipment as beginners Twister (spinner, plastic mat, box) but UT's plastic mat is encoded with ultra-chips using graphene technology and whammo micro-dot power. When two people play in an attempt at orgy, their body parts are eerily transmitted and scientificly transported into quantum foam where everything is possible and usually is. Take for example, Rhonda.

Rhonda was your average secretarial student, a bright eyed co-ed wishing for a future filled with several husbands and covertly drained bank accounts. She was the apple of her daddy's eye, the ulterior motive of the class of '11, and the dashing-through-the-snow girl of Ames, Iowa. She went happily along until in world came crashing down, all because she went to a party at a friend's house and had too much to drink.

When the evening wore on and the whiskey and seditives were drained, someone had the bright idea to play Ultimate Twister. The partyguests opened the box, took out the spinner and the plastic mat, and got ready to orgy. Then the spin was spun, Rhonda was asked to put her life on the line as well as on the blue dot, reached her right hand in and......


Rhonda, gangham style

edit See also


Are you near the great barrier reef? If so, please break me off a good size chunk for my "Wonders of the World" collection. Thanks. You can come over and see my stuff. I have paint scrapings from the stone-age cave paintings in Spain, a trunk-core specimen from the oldest tree in the world (well, it used to be), and pieces of head meat from a bald eagle. Lots more.

Hi. My name is Clem, and I collect things that would make your toes curl. Have you ever seen the Mona Lisa's smile? No you haven't, 'cause I've got it. Give credit to author Ray Bradbury, who installed the idea in my brain with one of his stories. I have his stories by the way.

Those Apollo Moon rocks everyone goes all bonkers over - a "Whee, lookie kids, a moon rock!" kind of bonkers. Most of them are fakes. I've got about 150 pounds of the real stuff sitting in my den. I use them for coasters.

And whenever people cry tears of real happiness when they see the Declaration of Independence, they do it in my bedroom. Got it hanging right above that Van Gogh with the crows and that screaming balloon-shaped kid on the bridge.

I got turned on to all this when my Uncle - and you should have seen the shoulders on that specimen (turn your head a bit, there, you can see them propping up by that table holding the original black stone of Mecca. What? Yes, that's King Arthur's round table. So, you want to make something of it?) - gave me my first piece, the skull of John the Baptist still on its plate. That's when the collecting bug bit me and left a mark about the size of a quarter.

K’uh ītech occequīntīn ītōcāhuān.Huēhuehmēxihcatl teōneltococāyōtl poliuhqui cenca iciuhcac catca īpampa catolicismo romano, mācēhualtin ahmō ōneltoqui mochololih canahpa ohuitepētitlān īhuān occequīntīn (Caxtillān Atlācayōtl). Ihcuāc caxtiltēcah ōmpēhua

rub-a-dub-dub three jin in a tub

soap has deadly properties (into g)

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