User:Aleister in Chains/archive9

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edit First

Damn straight. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 23:59, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

That was gentle, but damn straight in, as you say. Aleister 00:03 6-2-'11
And it looked so clean before too!                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 01:15, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
Shhh! Don't dwell on what could have been. Past is past. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:27, 6 February 2011

edit Hello back

Hi, thanks for welcoming me, and I'll probably do the Recent changes thing once done with my WikiLeaks rewrite! ^.^ Yahoobox 23:09, February 6, 2011 (UTC)

edit Finished WikiLeaks page

My WikiLeaks page is ready for more Pee Review. Yay! And I am watching puppies play around with toys, it is more amusing than American football. Yahoobox 01:07, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

Bitches playing with toys! Any photos? Pup 01:19 07 Feb '11

O'yeah: puppyspan.jpg Yahoobox 06:43, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit 31

That was almost eerie. O_O -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 04:32, Feb. 7, 2011

The mistake I made was that I was drunk and I thought the Steelers 25 were actually two separate numbers, and added them up to 7. And they cut the Budweiser ad when they reran the tape on Sunday. Aleister 10:33 7-1-'11
25: 2 + 5 = 7. Okay, now that is creepy. It's like Jim Carrey in The Number 23, only not stupid and crappy. Shit, I'm feeling paranoid right now. Also, constipated. So much cheese last night. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 11:25, Feb. 7, 2011
I'm confused. I was just saying that the game was played on Saturday, which it was, and the tape would be run on Sunday. Woodson's shoulder was fine on Sunday, and he was on vacation by that time. Puppy Bowl, though, was live. Aleister 11:28 7-2-'11
I don't believe you. I could see the pixils where the humans guilding the puppies was digitally edited out. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 11:33, Feb. 7, 2011
But just look at the rapt faces of the fans in the stands. They are clearly witnessing a suprerior exhibition of athleticism. Aleister 11:29 7-2-'11
Hmmm... you have a point. Either 1) the audience was all actors, or 2) the pixils were due to a slow modem connection in the Matrix. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 11:43, Feb. 7, 2011
I just noticed the subliminal Petsmart ad, trying to make people believe that these artificial evolved-down wolves still retain some of the intelligence of real wolves. And all actors makes sense, I think I recognize some of them from Tom Cruise's latest. Aleister 23:52 7-2-'11
I don't understand any of this conversation. Firstly, it's not cricket, secondly, 2 + 2 = 5, thirdly, what the jello is puppy bowl?Pup 12:14 07 Feb '11
Or rugby. Scrums are the purest form of sport. Puppy bowl is a television program where they just put puppies into a simulated tiny American football field and let them play. People by the millions then tune in to watch them. Civilization is near its end. Aleister 12:17 7-2-'11

edit Two is a great number

Us two have new talkpages and I proudly announce my first archive for my talkpage. The Packers also won the Superbowl. Also, the second thing is why are you Joanie Fair? Is it a joke perhaps? --     Chompy domo-kun-small Mcpee Go Crazy Canadian flag icon Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 05:14, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit Ha,Ha...sorry

I read your article Pearl necklace. I will not be reviewing it, as I am biased towards it now and can not appropriately critique it. It was funny but it is hard to make a compliment sandwich with only the bread. -- Sheepicon15:28, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

Depends on the bread. Cornbread stands alone at the pinnacle of bread. And that russian rye, could eat it all day. Nan and garlic nan, natch. Have you ever eaten well made homemade whole wheat, direct from the oven, hot and ready? Then indian fry bread! Yummmmmm. Aleister 18:07 8-2-'11

edit You...

said "what a horrible image". You said that I uploaded a bad image. I'm useless ,right? I always knew it. I'm a zero. A nothing. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 18:34, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

You are ten million! The photo, yech, a big scab necklace. As you are only 24 I don't know if you know what the page is about. When you are 25 you will be told. And can I still help on the Heaven page, I've neglected it the last couple of days? How's it going? Aleister 18:36 8-2-'11
You still remember I'm 24? Even I didn't remember it, and yes, you can help at the heaven page. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 18:38, February 8, 2011 (UTC)
Thank heaven! But not now, later. Food is calling me and I must answer food. Aleister moments later, as food calls
But food is for losers. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 18:43, February 8, 2011 (UTC)
Skinfan didn't like my article and I'm sad. I'm crying. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 19:03, February 8, 2011 (UTC)
A fool and his money are soon parted. Take his money. Then maybe he left some constructive things in his review, and you can extract those as you spend his money. Aleister 19:08 8-2-'11
Looks like we're the losers of this competition. The two of us! Yay! --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 15:12, February 9, 2011 (UTC)
Although in Bizzaro World we both won! Yay! And in Bizzaro World the winners get lots and lots of prizemoney, so we are both partying the bizzaro nights away. I'm waiting for the entries to be unfrozen so I can work on my page. To really "get" mine someone has to know Hemingway and his book "The Old Man and the Sea", but it should also stand on its own by someone who doesn't know Hemingway, so I have to work that kind of writing into the page. But not in Bizzaro World, where both of our pages have already gone viral on Bizzaronet. Aleister 16:38 9-2
What's a Bizzaro? --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 16:47, February 9, 2011 (UTC)
If you are going to Google this, you had better spell it Bizarro. Spıke Ѧ 17:02 9-Feb-11
Bizarro is Superman as a zombie? --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 17:04, February 9, 2011 (UTC)
Nah, it's an alternate universe where Superman and Jimmy and Lois and all of them live an alternate timeline. They talk different, and lots of opposite things occur. In bizarro world they often spell the other timeline Bizzaro, or bixxaro, or something. Aleister 17:o8 9-2-'ll

edit Super computer

I've just completely re-written it. It's much, much, much, much, much shorter, but there's hopefully some humour in it. Sorry about the earlier redirect. Coronium 20:07, February 9, 2011 (UTC)

Took a quick look, and you write well. Nice work. Some stuff was lost in the rewrite, but who knows if anyone will miss it. The pic that was lost, though, I'll go retrieve that and put it on my talk page! Aleister 20:20 9-2-'11
Do you think it should be longer ? I don't have any good ideas on expanding it at the moment, but it looks a bit stubby. Coronium 20:33, February 9, 2011 (UTC)
It looks like a fun page to keep working on. You can do so over weeks and months, most of my pages, for example, are written over very long periods of time or at least lots of edits during a couple of weeks. Funnybony works on some of his pages for years. So ideas will come, and you may find yourself coming back to it over and over again. I must thank you too, for I've used both pics on the old page, one at the top of this talk page and the other on the bottom of my user page. Super computers are super computers! Aleister 20:37 nanoseconds later

edit topic suggestions

Did you have a chance to look at the topic suggestions ali? --Shabidoo 22:30, February 9, 2011 (UTC)

edit Send me out an S.O.S some S.E.X

Oi, Alligator with Anal Pains.... how do I do one of them rollover the text and an image pops up things? I've seen a couple of people do it, but unsure myself how to do it, or what article had it on it to go and pop the hood on and molest the engines of. And in-case your scratching your box-jelly fish wondering what the fuck i'm on about... say your reading one of my articles (yes i know, it's a horrid thing to ask anyone to do that should be punishable by death by sex with Carrot Top) and you would see it is highlighted like a link is, only when you move your mouse curser over this link, it displays a pop up window with the image it is linked to... how da fuckaspinneroony do i do one a dose?

Yours sincerely, and lovingly, and pretty fagot-worthy --ManiacJaSg-Maniac1075Complain Here 05:50, February 10, 2011 (UTC)

What are you doing out of your caqe in the cave? You, wandering the site? I wouldn't help you if you repaid me in heads (not head, heads,

"Off with me head! Off with me head!"

like of small blonde animals.
). Well, that didn't work too well. Look at Cemetery of the Absurd, some nice one there. Aleister days later give or take
The boy who once asked me to put a masturbating Sarah Michelle-Gellar in the corner is now a man teaching code. Oh happy day! Pup 12:03 10 Feb '11
Yes, my teaching consists of finding a code on a Socky page that he borrowed from a forum, then using it to excess, and then pointing out a page where I used it to excess after botching trying to put it here. And I'm using the masturbating Michelle Gellar again! But yes, I am a code master now, and can turn this page sideways. There, there's a challenge, can you turn a page sideways with code? Ha. Well, you probably can. Aleister minutes in the future
Moocharse gratseearsehole! Thats done the trick! Only thing is, looking at that page I created now, it's not really turning out the way I had intended. I've run dry on humor or creativity, so if you, or any of your ladies of the night who roam these places can be fucked, have a look at my latest abomination Death Race part 2000 and, well, as I said, if you can be fucked, add something to it... like that other guy did, I have no idea what it meant, but that may be why it's funny... so, check it out, and if you can be fucked, add something, or leave an idea, something, cause the articles pretty shithouse to me right now.--ManiacJaSg-Maniac1075Complain Here 12:27, February 10, 2011 (UTC)
It looks to be a fine article without reading every word, which I will do someday else, and as always your chops are third-rate masterpies. I did expand the wording of the pop-up, so to draw the attention of the pointy headed reader that they should scan there because there might be naked chicks and then they find the poster. If you keep writing good articles you will be nommed for writer of the month a seventh time for sure. Al goin' down a country road
90% of code is theft. And to be honest, I can't turn a page on it's side. I did manage to make one go backwards once, but never again. Pup 01:36 10 Feb '11
Nice backwards page! Lot of work. Even the "edit" buttons on the sections are in there. So maybe turning a page sideways is like an elusive math puzzle, a holy grail of coding. Would grabbing the whole page at once as a link, with the link color black, work somehow? Aleister a few minutes after the clock says

edit zombies

yes i do like zombies why? webby790

Why not? I said that because you were saying all over your user page that you liked zombies, so it was a joke question. On the other hand, you can start a zombie club, where zombies can feel comfortable among humans. Then zombies will find it, and you may not like them too much anymore when they start using your stuff and hitting on your girlfriend. Zombies, they never repay the money they owe you. Aleister later
Is Jason Voorhees a zombie? (not a humorous question, but it's going to do your head in wondering this)--ManiacJaSg-Maniac1075Complain Here 12:32, February 10, 2011 (UTC)
A-ha! It is a second maniac. We shall have a maniac battle. --     Chompy domo-kun-small Mcpee Go Crazy Canadian flag icon Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 03:06, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

edit how do i make a zombie club?

true my hopes is to make an article like everyone and how do i make a zombie club im pretty new yh im a n00b



Have to change things up once in awhile. I put the picture here, or at least tried (check the edit code, there are two items coded in which didn't show up on the page yesterday). Al months later
You said you were going to work on my heaven something. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 14:05, February 10, 2011 (UTC)
There, I fixed it, the two items were way off to the right side. Ah, heaven, yes, I will try later. How is it going, and what do you think needs additional work? And I will put the pic back somewhere on the talk page near the top, tis a nice drawing. Yay! Aleister 14:07 10-2-'11
I knew it. You won't edit it. That's what you told me last time. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 14:13, February 10, 2011 (UTC)
I've edited it in the past, just not when I told you last time. I told Funnybony I'd edit one of his pages months ago, and he still awaits. So, yes, later today, I will be on your page editing like a porcupine. What's a procupine you ask? It's when a porpoise, fresh out of its cocoon, emits a started screech of surprise at seeing and feeling all the quills on its back, and this intake of oxygen completes the process and it changes into a goose. Aleister three days later
Oh... --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 14:20, February 10, 2011 (UTC)

edit hey

hope you like it ;)

maybe somebody had this idea before but if so, I didn't know :P

PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 13:51, February 10, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, thank you very much (slowly edges along a wall towards the door, never taking eyes off of Ptok). Hopefully the site didn't grab my data and will now spam me for the next year. But yes, thanks! Aleister running out the door
Nobody can thank better than you :P Don't worry, my friends were spamming their on facebook with "gobarbra songs" and I hit on this idea :P PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 14:17, February 10, 2011 (UTC)

edit Need Some Ideas

I'm trying to think of new things to put in User:Iwillkillyou333/Everybody's Got a Water Buffalo, yet I am experiencing major writers block on this (as with almost every article I'm working on), so mind giving me some good ideas to make this article shine? Just put them on the talk page.--Iwillkillyou 333 TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 03:05, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

edit cheers

cheers ill speak to him thanks for the help are you on the adopt a n00b program i could use a mentor cheers again ill tell zombiebaron that you recommeneded me talking to him thanks again

Well, since you like zombies, go to the source, is what I figured. I'm not a member of adopt a noob, which is mainly a pedophile club. I enjoy talking to noobs and answering questions and things, just talking, and not an official adoption. But thanks for asking. The last time I adopted a zombie the zombie ran off with a ghost, and they didn't live happily ever after. So ask any questions or whatever, and either I or someone else will answer them, and one of the pedophiles here will offer to adopt you and then you will have to cover your zombie holes. Aleister 11:32 11-2-'11 lots of 'levens

hey cheers for the help im not wrirting anything yet waiting to see why my article got huffed even though i dont know what it means when its huffed? ha ha ha cheers again

It just means one of the rabid administrators didn't want it around or thought it there wasn't enough on the page. So many random people come by. write a few sentences, then leave and never show up again, that admins sometimes remove something that someone is working on. The best ways to keep the page around are either work on them on your namespace {like how I labeled this one) or put a construction tag on it like {{Construction}}. Looking around for awhile is good too. Enjoy Zombiebaron, if you poke him hard parts of him fall off. Aleister way later

edit Pop-up images

Is there a template for the things anywhere, or ought I make one? What do you reckon? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 22:16, 11 February 2011

Oh, hello. I don't know what you mean. What would the template do? Who would be driving it, and where would people go to buy one? Do you mean category (one already exists which I don't use but couldshould)? Crickets would object, since they pop up all the time. Aleister 2:39 14-2-year of the rabbit
Er... cake! 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 03:16, 14 February 2011

edit YO! M&M IS BA-AA-ACK!

Can you find a title for my something article?(You know, the one for the PLS) Hello? -- ~ Pointy Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 20:27, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

I dunno. How about "The what ate your homework?" or "Why my homework was late" or a hundred other homework things. I guess I don't like naming a page for someone, it's a work of art from your heart and mind, so you should label and name it. If it were mine I'd name it "Jimmy and the adventures of the flying fish" or something. Did you work more on the page after the review? Me, Al, a few minutes later, late for something and rushed rushed rushed to fly like a goose. A what? Damn it, I'm late. OK, a goose is a porpoise after it comes out of the cocoon and after it takes in a breath of surprise from finding quills on its back.

edit olive oil

It sounds great :) There are so many places to take it. It could be a parody of a wikipedia style article, intro, history, the making of it, uses, chemical composition ... or could have a story behind it (parodying a political issue, globalization, a person we should make fun of) or any other arc. What do you think? --Shabidoo 21:17, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit Handshakes

I wish I were your sockpuppet too. How wide are your hands? --Holy shit it's Neopowell 22:12, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit In response to...

Pearl Necklaces. I liked it, but didn't really have anything to offer in advice. That's why I couldn't review it. Hope that cleared it up sir. -- Sheepicon 02:18, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Gotcha. Now run and vote for it on VFH, for the pearls will run tonight in celebration! Aleister minutes later

edit Very Serious Discussion about File:Venus of Laussel.jpg

How do you know it wasn't pr0n when it was created? --Mn-z 02:57, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

Well, unless the cave men or cave women wanked off to preggo chicks carrying horns (which I myself actually do, both the wanking and the carrying of the horn), then it wasn't porn. It was artwork. Aside from that, I have no idea if it was porn or not, but it surely isn't now, it's historical artwork. At least imnho. I don't actually care if the tag is on there, just came across it on a Random page search and thought it was mislabled. I'm a non-censorship type, and would do away with almost all NSFW pages (although I'd put the tag on death and killing related pages, like almost all our war things or fast food articles and images, but that's just me) regarding the human body, since this is 2011 in some parts of the world and even the arabs have maybe made it into the 14th century or so. Whew. That was a very serious answer. Now I will go look at the4 Venus of Laussel and wank off. Aleister 3:03 16-2-'11
p.s. There, done. 3:04 16-2-'11

edit Thankee, Goode Sir/Ma'am

edit Pearl Necklace

You may already know, in fact you may already have linked to it. But there is a wikipedia page on pearl necklace. I know this because I had to link to it from my Sir Francis DRake article as people had never heard the term. --Sog1970 14:41, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit hEY!

I MOVED MY SOMETHING ARTICLE TO Why my homework was late. WANNA EDIT IT? --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 15:31, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit User:Aleister in Chains/UnNews:Wisconsin governor has brains in his butt

The battle lines are drawn in Madison and you are welcome to ridicule the Governor. However, the punch line of this story--that he has his head up his ass--is an out-of-the-blue cut-down that doesn't relate to anything in reality. Substitute anyone's least-favorite politician. "He has his head up his ass!" hahahahaha. Would you please try to make the insult clever? Otherwise, this is just a quick and dirty UnNews for the sake of overt advocacy. Spıke Ѧ 12:04 17-Feb-11

Well, if someone's brains are located in the butt, that usually implies that there's something smelly about the ramblings that come out of his mouth. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:20, 17 February 2011

That could be the source of this particular cut-down. I'm still holding out for cleverness. Spıke Ѧ 12:50 17-Feb-11

The point of this is that Walker wanted to be the one to crack the unions, a GOP wet-dream for years, so he could get the chops for it and become a leader of his party on a national level. And the city he chose to do it in is probably the most progressive in America, and his action is blowing up on him. i.e. Brains in his butt, i.e. what was he thinking. So having him literally have his brains in his colon is a socially accepted metaphor (something that symbolizes a great deal of data in a simple concept) for the reality. As this is a topical news item. . . . Aleister 14:02 17-2-'11

Addressing for the moment the topicality (which doesn't really matter): the Governor is pursuing a typical Republican policy (though you may spin it as all for show or based on ambition) and the state employees' union, unsurprisingly, protests (which is not the same as having an action "blow up on him"). New Hampshire is buzzing about any governor who might be an attractive opponent to Obama (and two who have said they aren't), and Walker is not on the radar screen. I had to Google to find a real news story to give you the Source you asked for; my usual aggregator did not cover this protest. Both the governor's action and the union protest are typical partisanship--the event is unremarkable. This would be a non-factor if the article were better.

On my talk page, you disclosed an actual hook that you never used: The protest in Madison must be like the protest in Cairo! The governor must abdicate, and turn Wisconsin over to the military! What is the analog to the Muslim Brotherhood? This would be clever. "He has his head up his ass" is just a cheap shot. You can do better. Spıke Ѧ 14:16 17-Feb-11

I moved it back to the UnNews apace. While you might not like it, Spike, this is very much removed from what one would define as eligible for a mercy move. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:19, February 17, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks you guys. I put in the Hippie Brotherhood, moved the paragraphs around, etc., but won't have much time in the next couple of hours to continue polishing, which I will. In the meantime this seems the most timely of the news items on the board, as events today will be much larger than yesterday's protests. The up-the-butt angle was also polished. Must go now, SPIKE, I hope the page is more to your liking. Aleister 14:48 17-2-'11

Your recent use of the Cairo comparison and other changes that cast head-up-the-ass as an interviewee's opinion rather than the reporter's, are improvements; and my assertion that Walker is off the radar is contradicted by this morning's radar. I would still rather see ridicule be a likely effect of an UnNews rather than its thesis. Spıke Ѧ 18:04 17-Feb-11

PS--Now in the 1-Spot. I hope you like my caption. I toned down the overt point of view in the lead paragraph, but the slant of this piece continues to be overt advocacy of one side, with humor a distant second. For instance, you take Liz Cheney out of character without a cute explanation nor any parody of her--she is just a meme. Democrats will chuckle at her saying something she wouldn't say--for the rest of us, it evokes puzzlement or breaks the news-story motif. Spıke Ѧ 18:24 17-Feb-11

PPS--In fact, I hope you like my caption enough to rename the page. Spıke Ѧ 01:50 18-Feb-11

Renamed it, it was a bit of a crude name but I wrote it late at night. Maybe you can consider moving it to the main page, as then maybe some of the "players" in Wisconsin may get wind of it's existence. I'll go have a look at Rachael Maddow now on MSNBC, her and Ed Swartz that follow will focus on Wisconsin (Shurtz (sp?) is broadcasting from Madison tonight). Back on later. Thanks for all the advice on the page. Aleister 1:58 18-2-'11

edit A slogan

Thanks for the rename. I've only been updating the main page every other day or so, but the new title goes with the photo and I'm pleased to take it there. The Front Page template had to be changed also to find the story. Another dose of MSNBC, eh? Are you not British? Hey: "UnNews: Fair and Balanced!" What do you think? it just came to me. Spıke Ѧ 02:07 18-Feb-11

Ah, a slight tweak towards the obvious: UnNews: Fair and UnBalanced. And those were great shows. Did you know the hill that Wisconsin's capital was built on was the neutral-ground meeting/holy place for American Indians long before they became "Indians"? And what year do you think it is, that Brit's don't get MSNBC and all the rest? As for my british passport, I hold passports in many countries and most continents. You're welcome. I'd like to see Funnybony's take on the Wisconsin movement, and others. This reawakening of America's progressive movement can be the rallying point for many UnNews pages! Aleister 4:47 18-2-'11
Naw, Fair and UnBalanced has been used a lot, and seems to be a staple of Second City. So probably any combination of the words have been done enough and well somewhere else. Google is like a mother hen, always there with some kind of yolk (hehahahahhahahlolololhahahahh huh?) Al minutes later
"UnNews: Balancing on the edge of being unfair." MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 12:34, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

We can do something with that. I would like to see "Your source for up-to-the-minute misinformation" on the Front Page be a <choice> of several things, though my favorite is still, "Like The Onion's retarded stepbrother," but Zim would still not want us to mention that copycat publication. Spıke Ѧ 12:48 18-Feb-11

"All the news unfit to print". I don't think it should be a really large putdown, expecially in relationship to The Onion (which many of our articles could easily be front-page material on). We already have the burden of "content free" to live down to, why stab ourselves in the eye many more times. Why not claim the old Chicago Tribune slogan which they had to give up when they went to 10 pages or something "The World's Greatest Newspaper". Play up instead of down, and that would be funny because we're not a newspaper, and the newspaper industry is falling by the wayside just enough that we can stake that claim and it would be funny. UnNews: The World's Greatest Newspaper. That's my insane contiribution to the search for Spock. Aleister 18:59 18-2-'11

What if they all went bankrupt and we emerged (through slightly lower labor costs) as the nation's/world's only news source?! Spıke Ѧ 19:06 18-Feb-11

More than likely. Some more lobbying for WGN, that would put the pressure on The Onion, which still comes out as a newspaper. Maybe a minor slogan. If you are serious about a name or slogan, why not expand out to a forum, and then everyone will play. Dibs on "UnPenis" because that's bound to show up. Aleister 19:17 18-2-'11
Man bites, dog
May all your news be UnNews
Fare and ballast
It's the news the others reject that makes UnNews the best
The only news with Attention Defic- Ooh, look at the pretty pictures
Or to steal a line from the chasers We report, you believe Pup 11:47 19 Feb '11
One more, stolen from UnSignpost If it's not in UnNews, then it didn't happen. Pup 11:48 19 Feb '11

edit Aleister

Look at the review. I'm so happy! Yay! Join the fun! --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 12:04, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

A very good review, with lots of in-depth ideas and comments. Nice. Would you like me to do more stuff on the page, per review or just stuff? As usual when we talk, and it's not you, it's me, I won't be logged in much longer, I have to go topple some government or other, so later, plater. Nice work. Aleister 12:14 18-2-'11
A little help would be very appreciated. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 09:10, February 19, 2011 (UTC)
No, I wouldn't help you if you were the last user on earth and I was like the last platapus or something. Aleister written before you wrote your last comment
You mean you don't like me anymore? --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 13:44, February 19, 2011 (UTC)
Not since your talk page ate my comments. And I did edit the page in question, some, and huffed a list or two, and did some of the pee review suggestions. And what's this about Maniac McPee changing his name? He could be anyone and we wouldn't know it. I'll have to go around looking over my shoulder. Aleister the next day entirely
So, you don't like me, huh? --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 13:58, February 19, 2011 (UTC)
Define "huh". And everyone likes you. I like you as much as I like corn bread, which reminds me about food, which makes me reach for the log-out button. Reaching, reaching, reaching, ther. . . .

edit UnNews awards for February, etc.

Thanks for your interest in the UnNews awards. I reply to you on the Foolie, regarding our awesome but in-again out-again NickJonesUSA, and offer myself for nomination on Narrator of the Month.

Larry Kudlow says that Rep. Paul Ryan was first with the comparison between Madison, Wisconsin and Cairo, Egypt, so I have inadvertently induced you to plant some right-wing advocacy in your left-wing advocacy piece currently in the 1-Spot. Kip the Dip is monitoring events on the ground and is preparing a counterpoint, at which time your story will drop down to run side-by-side with his. Spıke Ѧ 00:39 20-Feb-11

Nah, the Cairo thing is being dropped by the reactionary corporate morons, ah, right-wing commentators, because it also pulls the GOP into the Mulbarek/dictator role. There should be more articles about the Madison Movement from several sources soon, and I look forward to seeing Kip's. Did you mean by on-the-ground that Kip is in Madison? That's the place to be right now, wish I were there. And where are Springsteen and other major "stars"? Springsteen should be camped out in the capital rotunda with the crowds. How about I do that as a story? Celebrities joining the protest on both "sides"? Aleister 10:28 20-2-'11

Kip is a Texan. There is an Uncyclopedia regular from western Wisconsin but I don't remember who. Please work with Kip, who has thought about this for a couple days, to avoid stealing any specific take he has on it; but the more stories the merrier. Spıke Ѧ 12:01 20-Feb-11

Texas? Isn't that where people do strange things for money? I'll drop him a note. I'm hoping to see Funnybony chip in a story on the Madison Movement too. It may spread to Ohio, but there is nowhere in the states like Madison for progressive politics, and I was serious in the theme of the unnews that the GOP had to have brains in its butt to make Madison the place to sink the unions and the middle class. Aleister 12:05 20-2-'11

You know, I didn't see that theme at all. Because I was being hit over the head with biased rhetoric. Why don't you pull out the nonsense about Liz Cheney and substitute mastermind Karl Rove explaining this brilliant strategy?

Here in New Hampshire, where our gay-marriage legislature suddenly flipped to become over 70% Republican, the only comparable move (so far) is that the House has repealed the "Evergreen Law," under which a contract impasse with public-employee unions meant that the old contract continued in force--including the last year's cost-of-living raise--forever. Both sides will claim that defaults not to their liking will induce the other side not to bargain in good faith. No protests here; the usual culprits are on buses to Wisconsin. Spıke Ѧ 12:38 20-Feb-11

Oh.That was the theme of the page, so if it wasn't obvious I'll take you up on your suggestion, although Liz Cheney is such an idiot that she should still be included. Are their organized buses to Wisconsin from N.H.? Nice. And as much as I love Funnybony and his Peru story, and have married both of them several times in New Hampshire, I think the Madison Movement story is the big news and could easily be the Uncy UnNews theme for the next week or two. And I wrote notes on the two awards pages. And when you get around to reading my unbook you may be compelled by pure "Wow-ness" to nom it's author for Author of de month. Aleister 12:42 20-2-'11

Yes, Madison is big, though I don't think we'll have Front Page bingo as we did briefly on Egypt. On the awards, I continue to believe the criterion is 3 for the career and 1 in the award period. I'd do two more for a JPG of an award, but the only pages you ever ask for are pages with no words--don't know how to take that....

Liz Cheney is neither regarded as an idiot nor as a source of instant, meme humor except on your side; that was my problem with the article. Those not in your choir won't laugh unless your ridicule is subtle and/or based on some specific thing in reality.

Did you notice that Olipro has agreed to use a rotation of new slogans, more or less as we kicked them around, on the masthead? Spıke Ѧ 12:54 20-Feb-11

Stub has words. It is a stub or words. Which is why it would be funny. I could think of others to request, but I usually don't request stuff. Ah, Liz Cheney, the apologist who has no credentials other than genetics. I've seen her try to defend the most ridiculous positions. What Madison is doing is finally making public the hidden-in-plain-sight GOP agenda, which is making the GOP shake in its booths. Do you see what FOX news is doing, trying to make the story "A doctor wrote the teachers fake sick notes" instead of the rape of unions and the middle class. Madison is going to get bigger on all levels as no Senate vote is taken (in numbers they almost reached my prediction of 80,000 yesterday). More soon. Aleister minutes later

edit It's me

Hi, Al! --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 04:40, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

Hello, and good to meet you, again. How was the ride though the transporter? You came out looking good, and that's a great signature. Welcome (back) to uncy, he working man's wikipedia. Aleister 10:41 20-2-'11
Yes. And because of your gratitude, i'll offer you a strawberry lollipop. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:47, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

--Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:43, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you. That's one of the nicest things I've gotten here! Aleister a few minutes later
Good. You got the first out of millions of lollipops. How was it? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:50, February 21, 2011 (UTC)
Tasty. I ate half and will save half, the half you can see on the template. Ate the rest. Al minute later
Good. Tonight I am inventing a lemon lollipop and blueberry lollipop. It's better to be a lollipop than a maniac anyway. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 03:35, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit Wax

Eh, far as I can tell, the wax motif didn't really work out. PotR wound up removing the introduction to that with the bulk of a mass of largely unfunny stuff (although some of it did wind up getting put back), and Why? said it himself that the main wax stuff just wasn't that funny... after that, though, there really isn't much point in keeping the other references to it, for what are they even referring to at this point?

Mind, that aside, this one doesn't even entirely make sense, anyhow - talking about mostly harmless, non-lethal accidents, but... Icarus died, didn't he? That's a little more harmful.

And why would you think I was banned? What a silly thing to think... *shifty eyes* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 23:42, 20 February 2011

I didn't even know the wax story line was removed. People and other people have made so many hundreds of little edits, chipping and putting back (I miss Shatner, that was a really good pic and caption, really was. Sigh. Weeping. Sigh.) that I don't know what is left and what isn't. So I've protected a few things from the vultures, but you've done a good job of it (I actually used up many minutes checking each of the 100 edits you made today, and they were all good except for the last but I guess that's good too). And I saw that you were banned f0r a few hours with a "seriously" written after it. How more serious can you get than "srusly." Words mean nothing nowadays, nothing. Aleister time-transported from months in the future to write this now
*blames everything on PotR; it was definitely all his fault* Eh. There was a great deal of good stuff mixed in with not so good there; it's hard to work with that without killing any of it... how much did I? How much did PotR, for that matter? But worrying about that doesn't even solve anything, anyhow, although I am glad you've looked over it. Gives some reassurance. But I'm still not happy with the end - the Authors seems to a be a great deal of fluff not actually saying very much, which could probably be cut down even more, but I can't even tell because I know nothing about them, but at least they do look like the rest of the piece. The future bit, on the other hand... I spent longer than I care to admit trying to make sense of that. The tone is completely different, and a lot of it seems to have little to nothing to do with the rest of the article, and it's just random, suddenly telling us we're all going to die bringing up previously unmentioned tidbits? I'm sorry... it just... I dunno. If nobody on VFH makes any mention, please just hit me with a branch, though. I may have just lost it slightly.
And as for the ban, er... well... I don't even know about that, either, actually. It didn't seem right to ask her whether or not it was an accident that it wasn't a real ban, since it looked like one, so I didn't, just went along with it and went back to the article, but then... I gave up. And then you reverted me! *flails a bit* But anyhow. That's the story. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 00:24, 21 February 2011
Oh, you explained, so I thought you re-reverted. I love the authors stuff, although some could be trimmed. The ending seems funny. But the Shatner pic, ah, those were the days. when the Shatner pic and caption still lived upon the page, glory days those. Great work on the page, by the way, you kept perservering through adversity and complaints from jerks and others. Hopefully it will pass into feature and then we can all have a drink over it. Al even later in the century
p.s. Just looked at it, the wax original seems better, even as a stand alone joke because most people are aware of the story anyway. Whatchathink?
Well, now I've rereverted partially and Socky brought back my replacement and... er... well, I'll stand by the wax not fitting in the harmlessness part, but beyond that, I don't even know. o__o 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:13, 21 February 2011
Is all good, I hate wax myself, you even know, and where can I buy some corn? Al A time
Somebody mention my name in vain. Actually the author stuff has annoyed me for a while. I don't think it has quite fitted in with the rest of it, but there were enough good lines in it that I thought it should stay. Kilgore Trout I'd like to remove because without him in there the rest of it is (almost) all factual, which is something I like to try and keep when doing an article about a factual thing. (Street Fighter is almost all factual, Decentiousness isn't. Love is factual, Jesus Lites™ isn't. Intelligent Math is factual, to a given value of fact.) Given we have a genre that is soooooo vast, there's so much that we could do without relying on fiction to flesh it out. Having said all that, I love what people have done with this. In fact, it shows me how much better people would be as head of IC than I was. Pup 11:12 21 Feb '11
eeeekkkk. Kilgore Trout, for us Vonnegut fans, makes the section. To include Trout among the giants (and I love the section, or most of it) pays homage to Vonnegut's character who was a metaphor for all the thousands of people who wrote great sci-fi but never were published in a major magazine. Trout only published in men's magazines, because their publishers needed filler to place their illustrations of near-naked women in distress around. And in Vonngegut's world Trout was the greatest sci-fi writer who ever lived. That's why the entry and his place among the greats is appropriate, in the sense of satire. And people know I'm just playing, we have discussed peoples good work on people's talk page. Aleister 11:21 21-2-'11
p.s. I'm further remembering that Trout's stories were never properly illustrated, and that he'd go to adult bookstores and newstands to get a copy of his latest story and see that it was always illustrated by a woman with her shirt torn off by a salivating wolf or something, none of which had anything to do with his story. He always took it in stride, altough a bit sad, if I recall correctly. Is the new section on Philip K. Dick okay?

I had a thought before that I kind of gave up on, actually - why do the authors really need individual subsections at all? Why not just take all the really funny bits and turn them into one distinct section on authors? The big names would still get reference, of course, as prime examples or what have you (perhaps just as big names, for that matter), but it would open up for generalisations as to who writes sci-fi, and allow, perhaps, for some littler/other names that people would still expect to see... what do you guys think? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:21, 21 February 2011

Can we please leave the authors section alone. Why would you, a writer on a writer's website, have a beef against an authors section? Hatred of all the other writers (the only writer I hate is Stephen King, for going from an entertaining writer of good novels to writing books with too many pages), a desire to sleep with these writers, or are you a sci-fi writer in real life who hates these guys? And lots of other writers are now named on the page, with links to their wikipedia or uncy articles, and then we have the fine template at the bottom. Something I do agree with you on is some of the roughness of the ending. But we at least have an ending (what better way to end an article on sci fi but with a bit of sci fi speculation). You got the Shatner pic deep-sixed, and I thought that was the funniest thing on the page, so it's not me not compomising, just that we've had the authors section and improved on it since the article went up, and it's not like there's anything horrible about it. Wait, I'm going to get drunk. (later) Lyrithya!!! Howse ys doing? Lovre you, let's elope to the south pole of Mars and kick those martian's butts all over that big volcano they keep showing earthlings and bragging about. I hat Martians, yep. drunken Aleister 20:00 21-2-'11
Er... *backs away* That's okay, really... o__o 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 20:05, 21 February 2011
Did someone come in? Where are you? Sigh. glug-glug. Aleister 20:10 21-2-'11
And I thought I was a chatty drunk. And you may have noticed Al that I have left the authors section alone for the most part. Despite my Killgore reservations. Although Why? Introduced me to the work of Isaac Clarke recently, who if I was going for a generic sci-fi author that would be where I'd go to. Pup 10:33 21 Feb '11
Haven't been really drunk in years, I'm not a drinker except a few times a year. Just playing, and I was being a dick for maybe the first sentence of the above note to Lyrithya before I became a non-dick, but not not-dick enough to edit the reply. So I wouldn't complain about a ban, turning myself in as a dick for a few moments there. I tried to edit the author section so it would be more acceptable to you and Lyrithya, and later to Romartus (the Philip K. Dick addition). I rerally like the author section, maybe it's how I roll (never used that expression before, but there you go) when it comes to paying homage to the greats (and Trout is a great substitute for Vonnegut and Sturgeon and others. I'm thinking that Vonnegut would have taken great pleasure in seeing Trout in that section, so I feel very good about it. But I was a dick to Lyrithya, so if I;m banned here, as Vonneget would say, "So it goes." Aleister the dick 00:40 22-2-'11
I'm more concerned about scary drunks, honestly. It's not bad how it is, mind, just... an idea. But when you go like that, I'm inclined to run in general. Sorry. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:50, 22 February 2011

You know, when you act like a dick it's actually very lightweight. I couldn't have found that offensive myself, and going by Lyth's last comment neither did she. So "No harm, no foul" as the Dalai Lama once said. Pup 06:22 22 Feb '11

edit Now that you've had a strawberry lollipop...

Would you like a grape lollipop? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 19:00, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Haven't finished the strawberry one as yet. Saving it. You will soon have an entire selection of flavours! Aleister 20:02 21-2-'11
You can put it inside that toilet paper I found yesterday, so that it won't be infected by germs. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 20:11, February 21, 2011 (UTC)
Yes. I'm working on blueberry and lemon and orange lollipops right now. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:20, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit A Fucking Bear

I was about to VFD this, and then noticed a little fairy in the history. I can't see this going anywhere worthwhile, but I'm not very good a this random humour thingy. Are you likely to polish this or is it Symbol delete vote delete worthy? Pup 10:24 21 Feb '11

I remember this! A fucking bear! Just looked at it again, and it seems fine to me right now, but if you wish I'll do some more editing on the page. I think I just bolded every instance of the fucking bear because it seemed funny at the time. I'll go answer the above thing now. Oh, by the way, I like the sepia demon head, and am more used to it. Took awhile (it's good in red too, to stand out on the page as a metaphor for Hemingway's inner demons - and did he have a shitload of those! - so maybe the red should go (I actually just thought of it representing all his inner demons, I had been thinking of it as Hemingway's force when he was about to sex up the roomful of girls, but that's limiting the metaphor. After writing this I'm more inclined to the red and maybe filling out the sentence more to point that out to the reader. Whatcha think? Aleister 00:32 22-2-'11
It makes me think of Schindler's list - which I've never seen just know that there is only one bit of colour in the entire movie just to make a point. The reason why it reminds me, other than the obvious, is when I heard about it I decided I didn't want to see the movie as it's a move that insults the intelligence of the viewer. Not saying that's the case here, but I thought the metaphor was fairly obvious, even though I'm not the most au fait with Papa's life - beyond drinking anyway. I did the sepia as I thought the movement was enough to draw the attention, make the point, while still keeping the overall feel of the article like something found in a second hand book store. But I'm not the genius who created it - just the whinger who likes to pick out faults. As Dex pointed out in a recent edit summary - PEE reviewers are all inept. Pup 06:19 22 Feb '11

edit I live in Wisconsin

And Scott Walker used to be my County Executive. I'll be in Madison at some point this week, anything in particular you feel like seeing expressed on a sign? Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat01:47, Wednesday 23 February 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire

I envy you, and wish I were there. Thanks for asking about a sign, but naw. If you have anyone with a xerox machine maybe you can copy a few hundred or a couple thousand of my Madison UnNews and give 50 or so apiece to people to hand out, that way we can help get that great image of Gov. Walker with his head up his butt out there. Aside from that absurd request, I hope you enjoy your time there. Good luck! Aleister 3:05 23-2-'11 (the site is having code problems, so if this gets thru, Yay!)
That's not a half-bad idea, you know, I just might do that. I posted it to my Facebook page the first time I saw it, and I'd definitely be willing to print out copies of it. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat03:26, Wednesday 23 February 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire
Thanks, for even thinking about it! Thought that counts. And for facebooking it, very appreciated. I don't know if this edit will get thru, I got caught in the code freak out that Uncy had late last night, so this is my first edit since. More soon. Al 13:37 23-2-'11

edit Uncyclopedia Hacking

The hack is on New Pages and on Village Dump and it goes on and off when you edit and when you go on recent changes. Just saying. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 03:14, February 23, 2011 (UTC)


Happymonkeywinter2011 ¡¡¡ OLÉ !!!  :)

--Shabidoo 10:05, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:5-year-old tricks Wisconsin governor

This is a bleepin' UnScript! Would you please containerize it as a "news" story? Spıke Ѧ 11:28 24-Feb-11

The reporter is a five year old girl who is transcribing a tape of a phone conversation she had. She's not Bob Woodward. Maybe I can put a closing paragraph in rounding out the page. Will try that now. Aleister 12:11 24-2-'11

I'd prefer an opening paragraph. "The reporter is a five-year-old girl" strains credulity. Spıke Ѧ 12:32 24-Feb-11

There are some really smart five year olds around, some of them literate enough to write an article like this but without being able to discern some of the nuances. So this five year old thought of calling the governor and pretending to be Karl Rove, who she would understand to be an old bald guy who throws his weight around and so would at first start talking to the governor and his staff like that. Maybe I can put that in there. Okay, that sounds good. Back soon. As for straining credulity, maybe the concept of the governor in the middle of a national event taking a prank call and not being able to figure out that it was a prank (Palin got the same treatment in her V.P. run) does seem far-fetched, but maybe it will happen someday. Aleister 12:39 24-2-'11

edit Congratulations


You are the recipient of the Mhaille Award For Excellence for the month of February 2011. I know its not "up there" with the great awards of Uncyclopedia, but its a way for me to show my own support and appreciation for what people are doing out there to make this place better.

It would be remit of me to not offer you my own award for the multitude of things that you do around the site, but also as a special token issued to the cunt who stole my WOTY award. Again. Keep up the great work..... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Whoa! Unexpected and very appreciated. I've admired this award from afar, it has an elegance to it and I've considered it to be "up there", cloud sitting. Thank you for deeming me worthy, seriously. Very happily, Aleister 13:37 25-2-'11
Very nice, mon. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:31, 25 February 2011

edit I probably forgot to mention...

That popup image template... I made it. Did I forget to mention? Anyhow, it's there. Can you make sense of it? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:51, 25 February 2011

I, as usual, can't understand a word of tech talk and computer spin, but all someone has to do is go to the edit mode and copy the code, then substitute the file name and the text. Maniac1075 was looking for pop-up a couple of weeks ago, and he crawled out of his cave to do it (guy probably lives on a yacht with maiden-servants), so you provide a good service by making a template. Thanks for the thing above. It'll be fun to play with you again on the Happy Monkey contest, lots of people are signing up and it's actually still early, like close to four more days to sign up. It could have something like 30-40 people this time (and I hope Happy Monkey himself logs on to hear about it, and I'll share cookies with him). Ghosts of contests past! Al 19:08 25-2
Hmm... This'll end in tears. I just know it. This will all end in tears! 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 00:24, 26 February 2011
??? Why? Who will be shedding said tears? And why??? I am now worried, and looking for someone to blame or be a dick too. Aleister minutes in the future
...someone. Everyone? That guy... tears of anguish, mind. Anguish! Look for the anguish. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 00:40, 26 February 2011
I think someone might be over-reacting to what is potentially a non-issue. A little concern about active content on a page? Pup 02:54 26 Feb '11
Puppy, do not discount the anguish. Lock the doors for the anguish. Aleister 3:51 same day
Exactly! There's already excess anguish floating around! We're all going to die. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 03:49, 26 February 2011

edit Yo

Just wanted to say that you are already an admin in my Nice-people book. Congratulations. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 18:17, February 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit Sup.

Hey man, the whole thing was Dex's idea. I just now heard it, and it's awesome. Dexter did it perfectly. Hope it wins the everything award. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 03:51, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

edit topic for Happy Monkey

Hey Aleiste: Don't forget to email me your topic for happy monkey. If you dont like email tell me and Ill catch you on IRC. Its or I'll tell your mom what me and your grandmom have been upto, and you dont want that. No. you do not want that at all. --ShabiDOO 18:43, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

I think you may be misunderestimating the lovely Al here. Pup 11:51 28 Feb '11

edit Trig Palin

Hey, Aleister - so, I wrote a new version of Trig Palin. I'd like to move the original page to Trig Palin/Classic and replace Trig Palin with my rewrite. I was advised by an admin that I ought to run this idea by the keep voters to see if they're cool with it. What do you think? Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 21:15, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

edit Well thank you!

I'd love playing with you :D By the way, could you please tell me if you have some cool emoticons here? I don't wanna use the crappy SMS style ones :) (oops, I just did!) --Flaming Ace 10:16, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

Cool and emoticons are two words I generally don't see together, but having said that I guess there is a call for using emoticons in forums and talk pages. If you can give me some links as to what you like as emoticons (ie the images and the text shortcuts tou use for them) I'm sure I can throw something together for you. Try to keep the size down to 14px or so though - I'm not going to throw something together to have 25px animated gifs suddenly appearing all over the damned place. Pup 11:50 28 Feb '11
8-} Puppy will do your good. There is a list of simple ones here, is that what you meant, or are you seeking more better newly created ones? Again, for the more better, Puppy will lick your face real good. Aleister I_I 12:27 28-2-'11
Well, I meant something like these, but I can use the standard ones u.u Thanks Aleister and thanks Puppy, I'm cool :D (I don't need any licking right now, but I appreciate the offer ^^) --Flaming Ace 19:55, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit Curse my bad timing!

I didn't realize that UnBooks:The Old Man and LV was already on VFH, because I tend to shy away from that area anymore.(Rabid badgers and whatnot, I'm sure you understand). But I have already completed about 80% of the review so I'll go ahead and post what I have anyways. By the way, I will make my way 'round to vote for Old Man --John Lydon 17:45, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

I should have left a note on the pee review page. For you to do a review on such a long page must be an endeavor, and thank you for it. I look forward to reading it, and hopefully taking it to heart and editing some areas (you always write great reviews). Thanks again, and I look forward to "seeing" you as we all have a drink before the Happy Monkey contest. Aleister 17:54 28-2-'11

edit Fuck ChiefjusticeDS

That bastard huffed my A page that contains, simply, the words "INCEST BUTTRAPE"! That sonofabitch! --Scofield 19:32, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit Science fiction

You, me, Why, Socky, Lyth... Who else? Pup 07:37 01 Mar '11

List I wound up with was me, Happytimes, Joe, Why?, Aleister, Socky, PotR, Mordillo, Maniac1075, HELPME, Miley Spears, Fredd, DougalthePanda, Striker2117, and Matt lobster. But that's just what I came up with. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 20:11, 1 March 2011
Probably a couple of gaps in there for those that helped with concept. I'll go with that list until someone objects. I guess I have to pretend to still be IC acting head for this one. Lyth, I've hinted at it before, but I think you'd make a good head of IC going forward. Pup 09:22 01 Mar '11
I pulled that out of the histories and off the IC mainpage. But yeah, no idea how encompassing it actually is. Also, shuddup; I ain't heading anything. I only 'joined' because I got drunk or something. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 21:36, 1 March 2011
Puppy, you did great as head of IC, a feature! As for feature "points", Why? would give them to people who made a semi-major contribution to the project, maybe he can help on judging that here. Just showing up on a page's history isn't really working on a colonization. I made a contribution to Creationism, but I'd never count it in feature listings. Why? had me on the board as starting with Creationism, and I had to change that. Socky had two or three Colonization works, but he wouldn't count them in his feature count. I think I'll count Sci-Fi, though, and if we ever get Dinosaur in shape (is it already? I haven't looked at it in a long time). But Puppy did a good job as head of IC, not every IC thingy has been featured, so Yay! And I agree that Lyth would be a good head now (as long as the pics are safe. gulp. tremble.) Aleister 23:10 1-3-'11
I understand Why's perspective, but I have decided to deviate from it. Especially looking at this one, someone has added one or two lines, and that has then been extended by the next person, and so on. I made only one minor edit to Bruce Wayne but because I'd started the ball rolling on concept I was given credit. I also came up with a significant aspect of the concept behind God, even though most of my edits to the page got wiped in revisions, and what I did on Creationism also got mashed up. I think credit on this should be shared amongst all who contributed, as there is no way of saying which contribution was "major" and which wasn't as it's a creative process. I also think that the concept of IC is to create good out of mediocre, and if the carrot for that is feature credit for any contribs, so be it. So that's why I'm being more generous with credit - especially given I ouldn't be buffered going through all edits to see who did what to where and what got kept in the end. Pup 01:36 02 Mar '11
Nice explanation. And of course concept of a colonization is major. Has Lyrithya agreed to head up Colonization? We should maybe polish up Dinosaur (is it ready now?) and then start up a new one! Aleister 2:14 2-3-'11
Actually, at the time Why's perspective was also Puppy's perspective (I'm too lazy to look for those posts). But in any case, as far as I can tell on Science fiction it's Puppy's decision, not mine. And by the way I posted User_talk:PuppyOnTheRadio#Science_fiction_IC_Credit before I saw this discussion. Carry on. Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  03:20, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit Rule #2: What's that?

Don't sweat it over being-a-dickgate. Politics 'n' shit. Meanwhile, I had no clue I was nominated for a Foolitzer Prize, until I logged in and saw that I had just won it. It's like finding jelly beans in your pants pocket. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 20:09, Mar. 1, 2011

edit World distracted, Rabbi Techno slaps a massive template on your talkpage


edit Super happy monkey competition

Hey your topic will be ready here at about five minutes before the start of the competition (5pm EST or 2200 UTC). HAVE FUN AND GOOD LUCK :) PISSING ALL OVER YOUR FACE --ShabiDOO 21:47, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, and pissing all over your face right back. Al minute later

edit O P E N

Skeleton10Click here to see a photo of Mickey Rooney!

- Barn-owl LOL vandalz

edit The mass slaughter of unused images

I feel like I should get some sort of agreement out of you, even if I wind up ignoring it completely, before I continue with this. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:52, 4 March 2011

anything lying around here being useless should be removed. I mean, really, how many diff- what are you doing with that axe? Wait! No, I mea The preceding unsigned comment was added by PuppyOnTheRadio (talk • contribs)
Well, a dead puppy... now what will I ever do with this? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:08, 4 March 2011
Poor puppy. Now we have to wait for the pick of the next litter. Yeah, on pics I've been categorizing them for a long time now, and some of the ones you were going to ax were ones I had just categorized, so I feel like I'm leading the lambs to the slaughter (reminds me. Poor puppy.) Solid pics of interesting objects, like stacks of money, a Dali inspired clock, anything that could fit well in a category seems to me, at least, to build Uncy's collection. And then when someone needs a pic of a stack of money they go to Category:Money and find it. Does it hurt the site to have large collections of pics, built up over the years? I don't know how the computer storage works, but I'd guess as a moron that the capacity of servers to handle large amounts of data also constantly grows. Lots of pics I would get rid of, like stupid drawing-like figures, and random nothings, sure, but why huff good pics along with the water for baths (poor puppy, we all used to enjoy giving him his bath). Aleister 16:26 4-3-'11
Normally I'd agree, but if they have watermarks, are highly pixelated, are just plain small, that kind of thing... we can do better. And is it really fair use if they're not even being used? Or a giant jpeg of a solid-colours design, now that's just stupid. Scale it any and it'll turn into a massive heap of artefacts, and it's so big that it'd have to be scaled. Such things should be pngs or svgs; those don't go wonky when scaled... well, not at much, at least. So I guess the question is, where to draw the lines, eh? Smaller than 200px, for instance, the odds of general use are greatly diminished, but even then it's not very good; how often do you actually use images at their default thumb size, after all? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:41, 4 March 2011
I'm not as discerning of pixels as of the content, and have used mamy pics with a 200px just by enlarging them by not using frame, or scaling up the size (some won't get bigger but most do, at least in my memory). And I have no idea what the different jpg's and png's and the others mean in comparison to each other. That free site you turned me on too suggests downloads as JPEG's, so I've done that when using it. For me the bottom line is having a great library under categories, making our pic library one of the best. So as long as I have that point-of-view I squark or bark (poor puppy) when a good pic is removed from the library and thrashheeped. But, wiki's be damned and drawn and quartered, each of us have our own point of view of things like that and somehow things shuffle out. Aleister 16:55 4-3-'11
But scaling up the size looks terrible, especially with jpegs. That's been one of my main problems with some of your primarily imagey things; you scale up small stuff and it winds up looking right awful; maybe it looks fine on your screen, but a lot of us have different monitors. I got mine specifically for imaging, so clarity was paramount, but with clarity comes the realisation that most of the stuff looks horrible. But jpegs work for photographs and pretty much nothing else. The format was designed specifically for photos, after all. Pngs are lossless, which is good for stuff that ain't photos because losing bits is a lot more noticeable. But for that matter, these are the unused images, so oughtn't they be the best of the lot, anyhow? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:07, 4 March 2011
I didn't know clarity changes on different screens. So how is there anyway to know what works and what doesn't for everyone? I've only done jpeg on uploading about a dozen photos. And if you have a huge library maybe someone not yet born will wander in and say "Look, that's the perfect pic!" Like those money pics, and the clock stretching, and the cat thing, those seemed all very good to me. Different tastes. What if we get a Christian wacko in here deleating all the pics of anyone showing more skin than an arm and an ankle? It could happen. And any moment too. So who draws the lines!!!????OOOO Aleister 17:12 same day
One of the money pics had a huge watermark across it, which is just bad as a general rule, though the other and... I guess the clock, too, I'll agree are keepable. Unlike the cat (I'm talking about the small one, not the duplicate, here), those are also sufficiently large. But these are easily findable on plenty of other sites, anyhow, and something as small as the cat... if someone really wants that, they can find it and upload it themselves, and they'll probably find a bigger or uncaptioned one, at that. I've been trying to go by image quality and potential usefulness, though I have gone a little overboard in places. State the pile's in, there's so much crap, there'd be little hope of ever sorting out the useful at all, though. Why not consider it... acceptable losses? *shifty eyes* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:20, 4 March 2011
I have the tears of the clown. Boo hooo, boo hooooo. There. You are probably right about smaller images, if they won't look good blown up. And the fact that other sites may have something is I guess what I'm talking about. Why not make Uncy one of the main "go to" sites for categorized images? Any other site may start trimming back too, and then something is lost. So if people need a pic of a horse, they will think "Hey, I'll look at Uncyclopedia. They have a great pic library." I guess that's what I was going for. Going to have to archive this monster, although apparantly Mimo is doing that for me on his user space. Hmmmmmm. And don't stop what you're doing, it of course is helping the site in your consideeration, which is the best all of us can do (except those Christians deleting the skin. What's next for them, bones?) Aleister the librarian some time today

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