User:Aleister in Chains/archive10

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edit Great.

I'll try to be more lenient with the poor pictures, then... mind, I do have a problem in which I'm not sure what all are categories here, so categorisability might be a problem. Er... hmm...

Bloody hell, mass deletions are annoying. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:52, 4 March 2011

Also also, even if the other sites do delete, generic is generic. We're not generic, are we?
Also also also cheesecake. Whooo. I'm bonkered. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:54, 4 March 2011
Ah, you didn't rape me. I was all ready, putting a cloth between my teeth so I wouldn't scream (that works wonders!) I hope you and Puppy tie for admin, so we get four of you, and then in the hours that we know that the other admins aren't around, you can pull a Governor Walker and try to slip things past them. You will have to deop lots of them in that time period, so when they get back there will be a new cabal running the ship. I fear the new cabal. Aleister second, literally seconds, later
UU changed it to four. rcmurphy didn't seem to mind. Except I don't want to, I really don't want to, even if it's just for a month, bloody hell... o__o
And the new cabal would be Hyperbole's doing, not mine. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 18:07, 4 March 2011
Categories, I probably know twenty of them (rough guess) and keep putting things I find into the ones I know. Toilets and bones and roses and War stuff, aviation, people who didn't fuck your mom in the kitchen last night, food and dessert images, etcf. etc. Cats, dogs. Maybe more than twenty, but not many more. Surprising how many pics fit into the ones I play on. And with the hotcat it gives you options as you type, so weird and different categories come up. Probably only MadMax and Mn-x know them all. Aleister must go eat now, food is there for the grabbing. ummmmmmm.
I rely entirely on the autosuggest thing of the HotCat, myself. The problem is with ones like 'ungulates' - I wouldn't even think to start with the letter U, you know? Meh, can I leave the bulk of the categorising to you? *shifty eyes* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 18:49, 4 March 2011
Since you are an admin now you can order me around like a chinese dinner. Of course. Talking of chinese dinners, didn't I mention food to myself before? Ummmmmmmmm, food, chinese, woks, things to crunch. Al minutes later
No, I really can't. Only thing this really changes is the potentiality of my getting sidetracked. At any rate, I hope you have or will eat soon, as food is very important. And do eat well. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:58, 4 March 2011

edit How did you think of that?

Your Username is Awesome! Whenever I hear it I get the Image of a naked man on the floor crying and screaming. I don't know why. Lyrithya (pronounced "Lie-rif-yeah") Reminds me of EarthBound. Again I don't know why. - Barn-owl LOL vandalz

Thanks for asking. It's a takeoff of Alice in Chains, the band. I don't use the whole name anymore, because most people have those kind of images you have. It's an allusion to bondage, which is a very high art when practiced well, and to Aleister Crowley, one of the giants of stage and screen. Tie me up, please. Yay! Aleister 00:04 5-3-'10

Either what you said, or I've just read too many Odd stories. ( Don't believe any copypasta you see on the internet) - Barn-owl LOL vandalz

edit Thanks Aleister

You are swell ;) thanks for the nomination. Its not going to get you no candy! I've decided to spend a lot less time here, so I hope you don't mind if we put off the colaboration for a little while. I know I was bugging you about it, but Olive oil can wait. Ill focus on Stupid cats for now with Lolipop and write some pee reviews, as I really enjoy doing them, and its actually part of my work (though not in English hahaha). Oh the suspense, who will win Happy Monkey. Enjoy the rest of your sunday. --ShabiDOO 01:16, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Well you certainly deserve it. You've worked on the Happy Monkey contest and persisted with the pee reviews and other details even as lots of us monkeys were taking swipes at your tail. Let me know when you come back with more time, and you are very good at pee reviews. I'm seriously of the mind that Uncy itself "won" happy monkey by gaining lots of new quality articles, just like the first time. Enjoy! Aleister 1:25 7-3-'11

edit IMadeThisOnTheComputer

Uncyclopedia_talk:Imperial_Colonization#IMadeThisOnTheComputer WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 04:20, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit And then the sheer enormity of it all sets in...

Going through them all is insane. I was going through 2005, 2006, and 2007, and 2007 was when the unused file mass-deletions initially stopped, and even after that there were a few thousand of those when I was at it. There will only be far more from years that follow; I am not going through those and manually picking out the better ones, hells, it's not even doable the way it's set up. Wikia caches the special pages and only a thousand show at a time... and this has been put off for far too long...

It'll doubtfully even wind up by my doing, though.

But if you really wish to keep some, what we need are galleries. Put the particularly good ones somewhere specific that's actually off the unused files. I don't know how the lot'll wind up getting deleted after all the technical difficulties we've encountered this morning, but from the looks of things, an all-out automated mass deletion is going to happen sooner or later, and the ones we want to keep will need to be off, either through use of galleries like MadMax used to put together or with the {{notorphan}} template or some such. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 09:31, 7 March 2011

I may be walking into walls but I know when I'm "huh?" Where is this cache of pics you are talking about? When I look at unused pics it's by going to Special Pages and clicking "Unused files", but you seem to be talking of a vault somewhere. On this, why don't you call a stoppage to the slaughter and put a forum up, then we all can pick through the pics for a week and put the good ones in another place, as you suggest. Running ahead of your new found power (mower) trying to save the flowers amongst the weeds might be easier if you take a break for a week or so. TGhis will give you plenty of time to hate your way through works of art, and then we can keep some really good ones for future generations. But, like I said above, where is this stockpile? Thanks Aleister 11:25 7-3-'11
There is no "stockpile". What Lyrithya meant when she was talking about a "cache" is the fact that, for some reason, Wikia doesn't update Special:UnusedFiles in realtime. Instead, at the beginning of each day, the server selects the first 1,000 unused files. Those files are displayed until the cache is refreshed in 24 hours. Because of this fact the whole process will probably take us many months. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 18:43, March 7, 2011 (UTC)
Ah, it becomes clearer. So the first 1000 stay on until they are either used or dumped? That is a problem when you want to get to all the ones in back of those. Maybe just create one or two "pages" a day for them, and dump 1,000 a day into those page so the pics will be marked as being "used", so the next 1000 can show up. Then dump those onto the page, etc. In that way you can get all the unused pics in one place and seeable. How many unused ones are there, 10-20 thousand or more? 100 thousand? As Spock would say, "fascinating". Aleister 20:12 7-3-'11
Eh, if all else fails, that'd be a solution... but it'd be very slow. Guuh. Also, I copied a script for adding ones to keep to a gallery - they can be sorted later, but it's a one-button add, so... eh. Might be useful. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:24, 8 March 2011
Actually, the more I think about it, if what Zombiebaron says is correct, this would download 1000 new pics a day. Copying and pasting the Special:Unused pages page (with its 1000 pics) to newly created "pages" will trick the code into thinking the pics are now used. And we could all pick through the "maybe" ones for a few days and keep lots of good material. Makes sense to me, are there gaping holes in this UnLogic? Thanks. Aleister 2:38 8-3-'11
It would be a lot of days. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:45, 8 March 2011
HowMany:Thousands of unused pics are there? Does anyone know. The hidden ones are doing uncy no good, no good at all, so if even 15 percent of them are good ones maybe digging those out is as important as huffing the rest. And probably the easiest way to huff them is to put them on a separate page, then huff them with one bite of the delete button from that page. Six of one! Half dozen of another! Aleister minutes later
Putting them on a separate page would be easier if the files were listed as a list of pages, instead of as a gallery. The MagicGallery (as it is referred to by MediaWiki) is probably the biggest obstacle this operation faces. Also, if I had to guess, I would say that Uncyclopedia has roughly 2 million unused images. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 04:46, March 8, 2011 (UTC)
2 million? So is it worth deleting them, I mean, does it make a difference in the storage capacity or, what does it make a difference in? If the pics aren't accesible to viewing, then they are as good as gone anyway, so is it just the servers that would be helped by doing this? It does seem like a huge task, so I'm just wondering if it's like an elephant chasing its tail, the weight of it alone begs the question why? And if the answer is one that benefits the site, I guess more power to you. Aleister minutes later
In it's current state, UnusedFiles isn't useful to anybody. It is basically just a huge list of shitty images. It is my understanding that on wikis where they keep their number of unused images at a reasonable level the page can be useful, in much the same way as BrokenRedirects and DoubleRedirects. Obviously new unused images get uploaded to Uncyclopedia every day (either by users who never really intend to add them to articles, or by idiots who upload photos of their friends for their quickly deleted vanity articles). Basically, it comes down to the same argument that keeps VFD going: Uncyclopedia is not a giant repository that keeps everything. {{Deadend}} is a monthly maintenance tage, after all. I am dedicated to deleting the bulk of these unused images, as my own personal pet project, so it doesn't really matter to me how long this process takes. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 05:00, March 8, 2011 (UTC)
OK. Isn't there some way to just zap the two million unused pics that nobody can see, all in one swoop. Since the database refreshes itself into the viewable unused pic page, there must be a depository somewhere that some coding is accessing. Couldn't that code be used against itself to remove them all at once? I ask this from the perspective of someone who knows almost nothing about coding and programming, so, just askin'. I'll stop talking about all of this pretty soon and let you guys alone. I just added one of the unused pics to the Dali article (I tend to search the unused pics for things for my pages, which is maybe one reason I'm questioning this so much. Will keep quiet now. Al six minutes later
Oh, sure, if you had access to the server itself and were a competent programmer, this could be done pretty easily - although there's a not-insignificant amount of babies in there with that bathwater. For example, RadicalX would occasionally shop a funny picture and then never actually put it on any pages; and just yesterday, Lyrithya deleted my signature, because I referred to it in my sig file by its full path rather than a relative link. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 05:14, March 8, 2011 (UTC)
God help us. Batten down the website and pray for sun. I did save one pic I'm proud of from the storm, the one on Obesity in the "War on Fat" section. Al time unimportant in the general sceme of things.
I have contacted our overlords concerning this matter. Hopefully they can provide use with a complete list of the filepages for all our unused images. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 06:04, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hey

Why the talk page for University of Nevada, Reno? Do you know someone who goes there or something? Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 18:25, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Random pages to the first blah article, then to the talk page, then checked the history (last edit in 2006) - a great place to hide out! But Tyson found him, as Funnybony knew he would, realizing he was just buying himself a little time all along. Aleister 20:07 7-3-'11
Huh. Funny coincidence: from my backyard, I can almost hit that campus with a rock. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 20:23, March 7, 2011 (UTC)
The stars have then aligned. You have probably done the Reno and Vegas casino scene so much it's old to you, I'd love to live in Vegas for a couple of months just to submerge in it (I don't gamble except for the penny and nickel slots, for the colours and sounds, and I would think not gambling has to be the key to an extended-stay fun time in those cities). I was just going to come to your talk page to ask if you've heard Alex Jones rant about Justin Beiber and human potential, then thought that instead of giving you google coordinates I'd just stick it on my user page. BIEBER!!! Take a listen if you'd like. Bieber. Aleisteer 20:27 7-3-'11

edit You Bastard

Skunk is so good I'm not sure that I can actually do an in-depth review on it without using the word "perfect" a record number of times. Please make it worse so I can review it. Failing that...I don't know what I can say. Well here goes nothing. Jackofspades (talk) 21:47, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you, and Kojol thanks you (and she'll show you her thanks, I'm sure). Really very flattering, thanks again. But I'm sure on your next reading of it you will say "Jeez, how did I miss that?" Aleister 21:52 7-3-'11

Urinating fountain

I just peed on something you wrote. I apologize profusely for that.

I'll attempt to control my bladder in the future. No promises though

In case you didn't notice. I love this article and will most likely use it as an example of how to write in the future. Jackofspades (talk) 01:07, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit A present


Lyrithya deleted this image, but as it's now used on your talkpage, she can't delete it again for being unused. ;) Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:17, 8 March 2011

Thank you. Why in all the hells on earth and monkey's heaven would she delete this image???????????? It's great! Thank you. And it will have to be moved, because once an archive is made, if memory serves, the images aren't counted as being stored. I'll move it to one of my pages to try to protect it from the storm. Probably a talk page would be best, set up a talk page for good pics. Hmmmmmmmm. Aleister 19:25 8-3-'11
I edit. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 15:27, March 8, 2011 (UTC)
I want to give you a present too! Here: --Tophat headless 17:40, March 8, 2011 (UTC)
Thank you, that's a great pic too. If it's not anywhere else let's find a place for it. Hide it, like Anne Frank in the attic. Protect the gifs! Aleister 19:29 8-3-'11

edit A buck

Thank you for the thanks. I took a personal vow never to use one of those American dollar coins that are the size of quarters, as they are America's attempt to devalue the meaning of the word dollar by making it the "new" quarter. So a pic of one is "yech" to me, but the thought behind it is appreciated. Aleister 3:57 11-3-'11

edit Science Fiction Thanks From the Alien Deviants at Imperial Colonization

William Shatner, dictating his memoirs, is emotionally shattered as he demonstrates what you screamed the morning after you met him.
Kirk admits it

Not such a long time ago, in a wiki not so far, far away, you voted for Science fiction. You voted for it to go where Science fiction had not gone before. Never mind logic, or physics, or even common sense. With your vote, and the votes of alien time-and-space travelers like you, you sent the shining, chrome and steel article where it was destined to go:
To Infinity--and Beyond!

Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  06:20, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

edit Greetings.

It has come to my attention that you have recently voted for one or more of my articles on VFH. I don't recall what they were, and I don't know if the records are entirely accurate, so if you have received this message in error, you have my sincerest apologies.

Otherwise, thank you for your support in my quest to pretend that I am capable of writing. It is most appreciated.

This copy-pasted spam message is brought to you by: 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 07:03, 13 March 2011

edit Psychedelia

I hear some of your favourite lines got deleted - this may well be my fault. If so, sorry. The current working page is on User:Sog1970/psych, which I'm trying to turn into a John Peel radio documentary on psychedelic music to avoid it looking listy. Feel free to re-add the lines or add any new ones. I fear, however, that with the notable exceptionm of Bony, no one outside the UK (or inside and under 30) has any idea who John Peel was. --Sog1970 11:52, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks! Although I don't know how much new material I can contribute. Maybe during the documentary Peel can take mushrooms and then go off on a description of the music. One way to describe Peel could be to say somehow that the administrative character in the film "Pirate Radio" is based on him (at least according to Funnybony, I think, unless I read a post of his wrong). The list thing is/was the pages biggest negative, maybe just leave the pages which have an actual link to an article and several of Funnybony's more funny listing? 'Aleister few minutes later

edit Competition list

I appreciate the assistance with Uncyclopedia:List of writing competitions, thanks! I was kind of apprehensive about writing it from such a serious standpoint, and without a humorous slant, since plenty of "official pages" can do both. By the way, you mentioned on the talk page that there were two 24-hour contests held last year. I only found Dr. Skullthumper's contest. Was the second one the HMC? MadMax 13:46, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

It's a very serious subject! No, if I did I was wrong, there were two one-hour contests (Skullthumper and Skullthumper Europa), and only one 24 hour. And now another one-hour has been announced for this week! [[user:Aleister in Chains|Aleister sometime that same moon cycle

edit Vector calculus

Yikes! That last illustration will be fine, thanks. Spıke Ѧ 14:54 13-Mar-11

edit Joe Pesci


You laughed at Joe Pesci’s joke and voted to make fun of him. So, you can only blame yourself.

Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:11, Mar 14

edit Happy Monkey Results


CONGRATULATIONS !!! You placed third in the Happy Monkey Competition. According to five different judges you wrote an extra awsome article. Thanks for participating. PS if you want your pee review to be expanded into a formal 50point review, please let me know on my talk page and Ill get to work on it right away! OLÉ!!! --ShabiDOO 19:35, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit Aye

Yeah [in answer to your question from months prior] read all of the end bit man, it'll bend your brain unless it's screwed on backwards already... There's shit loads [of better stuff] I haven't uploaded due to a vague fear of plagiarism. But I still like what's there, though it's long neglected... I thought it would be kind of funny to have a novella at the bottom of the page

PEACE, Kironoryx [don't nkow how to do signatures, date etc...]

I have no memory of who you are or what you are talking about, but look forward to finding out! Thanks for getting back to me, although I don't know what you're getting back from. Aleister 23:58 14-3-'11

Mmm... I go here a few times a year... 6 months ago you jabbered in my direction "here" meaning this website, not your discussion page

Ah, you've juggled my memory. Hello again! I'll read your page much more later, and remember it well now. Very creative. One idea, some more mints at the bottom of the page would "cap" it off most perfectly. Please come by more often (the site and here). Thanks. Aleister minutes later, on the Ides of March
Obviously more mints would make "sense" -- but I prefer nonsense... probably why pretty much all my articles have been deleted [love and punches from Kiron, further minutes later, during March]
Sign by typing four tildes (~~~~) or by clicking one of the things on that bar at the top of the edit box that I don't even remember what it looks like because I disabled mine. Also, hi, Aleister. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:13, 15 March 2011
It looks like this: Button sig --Tophat headless 14:35, March 15, 2011 (UTC)
Woah... you've, like, blown my mind, man. Totally. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 14:37, 15 March 2011
Glad to know it. --Tophat headless 00:10, March 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit Okay, now it's my turn to complain

Why did you do that? We made those changes because of the pee-review. WHY!?! --Tophat headless 23:59, March 15, 2011 (UTC)

What changes? The birds thing? That was funny. If that's not there there's not much reason to mention birds in the lead. What pee-review? Why? was suggesting that he do a pee review, which would be disaster of extinction level proportions, so it's good there's a pee review. Who reviewed it? Aleister later, after much thought and meditation
Black flamingo. It's here. --Tophat headless 00:10, March 16, 2011 (UTC)
Oh! And I believe the consensus from the res of the IC members was that we take "the birds thing" out. Just saying. --Tophat headless 00:12, March 16, 2011 (UTC)
What Birds thing? I just looked at the page and I don't see a birds thing. Aleister later that week
I must be seeing things. --Tophat headless 00:24, March 16, 2011 (UTC)
You folks are all insane. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:50, 16 March 2011

edit I'd like to take you up on your offer of me joining uncyclopedia.

Now you know my precious work that was erased. Marcel Duchamp, master of ready mades See you when I get back from the ban! It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 07:03, March 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Man goes to work; wife fucks his neighbor

I give my opinion about this on the talk page. In addition, Anon's title detracts from the superficial impression that UnNews is a legitimate news source. Does a cleaner and more subtle headline occur to you? The photo caption would be better if it were more subtle too. Spıke Ѧ 11:51 16-Mar-11

Great work on the caption. But one too many "scumbags." Spıke Ѧ 12:01 16-Mar-11

Thanks. And yeah, I feel the same way about the site as you do. Thanks for sharing. Aleister 12:03 16-3-'11
Gonna barge in here saying that subtlety in the title would kill it. This is an article that has no business being subtle. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 12:05, March 16, 2011 (UTC)
Some articles get their humour from overt blatantness, some from extreme subtleness. There's not much room in between. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:08, 16 March 2011
I agree with TKF on the title, which is why I suggested just changing the one word to "their". And the second use of scumbag was to show that everyone feels the same when they meet this particular newsman, and he takes it in stride, showing the backstory that he has been called scumbag his whole life. At least that's where it "came from" in my writing process, if I sit around and analyze it. Aleister minutes later

Roger on the scumbag. But please do for the title what you did for the caption. Froggy amuses himself by shocking other people, but for the rest of us, clever is more amusing than shocking. Spıke Ѧ 13:18 16-Mar-11

edit Re: Hello

It's good to see people here not out to destroy all my work, but I did the best I could possibly do on the Renamon page and there's nothing I can do to improve it further. The dragon wins in this case. But at least I have a few people to talk to here until he decides to leave. Ghostkaiba297 18:15, March 17, 2011 (UTC)

Hi. Please ask for it back on your userspace (that means it will be filed under User:Ghostkaiba297/Renamon, and if you'd like, when the link turns blue and I know the page is there, I can take a look at it and maybe do some edit on it if you'd approve. You seem to have literacy in your family history (maybe an uncle?), and might be a fine person to have on the site. But keep on writing, don't get discouraged, and that's really all you have to do to "fit in" here. Let me know if you have any questions and I shall do my best to ignore them. Have fun! Aleister 18:20 17-3-'11
p.s. It seems your page is back, Renamon, and it seems well written on a quick glance. You're now a real live boy on uncy, yay!
Yeah I noticed, and the same guy that deleted it put it back, and only huffed it cause the ICU tag was still on and I was supposed to remove it when I improved it. So I'm staying here. :) Ghostkaiba297 01:48, March 18, 2011 (UTC)

edit Re: wWRSD

I don't know why but everyone thinks that you have dreadlocks. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 18:29, March 17, 2011 (UTC)

Hy'o mon, dontcha know. Dreadlocks mon, de real ting if ya have deez, Jah. Me getcha vid mon, ta tell ya true dere, Jah. Aleister in dreadlocks 18:44 17-3-'11
Sinead O'Connor - Jah Nuh dead (live)02:08

Sinead O'Connor - Jah Nuh dead (live)


En de dreadlocks, dese in the heart and no de head, many of de variety iz de vampires, ay, doncha know. I and I 19:04 17-3-'11

edit Woooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooo

;) ;) ;) ;) --ShabiDOO 21:20, March 17, 2011 (UTC)

edit Competition

Thanks Ali for your nice words :) Ill take a look at this over the next few days and put in a real concept and finish it up (I was going to end it with a: and now we use the word global society even though its just a way to cover up our racism) thing and finish it. But afterwards, will you look over it? Ill name all my children after you (after I name my first children after the judges of happy monkey) :) --ShabiDOO 20:03, March 20, 2011 (UTC)

I am a spider, and have already named 8 of my children after you (spiders have lots of little spiders, hahahahahahheeheeheehee). Your page is very good, and I'll be only too happy of a monkey to look it over when you're done. Thanks for saving my page by the way, I can't believe people labeled it random (seriously). It's a juice bar that mixes the themes of Halloween and Yoga, what's random about that? I love both Halloween and yoga, and so do lots of people I know, and they would all love it if there was really a place like this. Disbelief. Thanks again. Al few minutes later
Ehm, the only thing that I can say is that, that randomness, is only seemingly randomness (kind of like killer froggies recent trillogy article). And with that I can finally have my post enormous sunday lunch nap ;) --ShabiDOO 22:11, March 20, 2011 (UTC)

edit Seeing as no one will respond to me

I've decided to take this into my own hands, I'm going to move Dinosaur into mainspace at ten fourty-five EST tomorrow. Anyone who wants to make their final edits can do so within that time frame. Thanks. --Tophat headless 14:59, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit PETA edit conflict

Sorry about the edit conflict--I was rewriting the PETA section of Dinosaur while you were editing. Feel free to check out what I did and see if you think any of it could be improved. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:02, March 22, 2011 (UTC)

An while we're on the subject, the whole thing with the last section is perfect, just as long as you get the robo dino option. But what if you get the File:Policy.JPG option? Maybe we should do something about that. --Tophat headless 01:48, March 22, 2011 (UTC)
That's the one I like the best, it looks like a war between humans and dinosaurs. Some dinos are helping the humans, others are attacking them. Scary, but true! Aleister minutes from then
Who could argue with dinosaurs firing lasers? So I'll agree. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:54, March 22, 2011 (UTC)
Okay, just wondering. --Tophat headless 02:01, March 22, 2011 (UTC)
Wondering about what? Skunk? Dinosaurs with lazers? Skunk? Arguing about dinos firing lazers? I'd side with the dinos myself, and take up arms beside my teethy brothers. Aleister 11:29 same day

edit Mimoed

My article wasn't featured. I am sad. I am the only user here who doesn't have a featured article. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 13:01, March 22, 2011 (UTC)

Piffle and oats. It took me 3 1/2 months before I got a feature, and during that time I just worked on my stuff and helped other people get features, not really caring if I had one or not. Lots of the things I was working on have been featured since, and I just got a pee review on one I started way back then. And some of my best stuff was or is shot down/being shot down on feature votes. So just keep on having fun and writing, a feature is just an article dressed up to take in a play. Throw eggs at it and run away! Al today, just after

edit Uploading images

Hey Al. Recently a few people have mentioned to me that one of the reasons why you may be such a vocal advocate of keeping unused images is because you have been having problems uploading images you find using google image search? I took a brief look at your logs, and all the images you have uploaded seem to come from Special:ImportFreeImages. If this is indeed the case, I would like to let you know that if you ever find an image somewhere else on the internet that you would like to upload, you can always request that another user upload it for you on the image request page or my talk page. MadMax makes such requests all the time. Also, if this is nothing but a malicious rumor, I'm sorry for troubling you with useless information. Cheers, -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 23:42, March 22, 2011 (UTC)

That's one reason, I've never learned how to upload other images. But the main reason is the used bookstore effect, I enjoy looking at a large collection of random images and choosing from these (not specific categories of images, random, like in a used bookstore). That was one of my joys on unused pics, and I prefered to use an unused pic rather than one that's was on another page. Thanks for the interest though. Aleister later that same few minutes
Ok, just know that in the future you can always request that somebody upload an image for you. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 23:49, March 22, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks. Can you bring all of wikipedia's images over here now, with a turn of a dial or something, and store them under appropriate categories too? That would be good. Especially that one. Thanks! Aleister away in a manger

edit I have fallen in love with this article I came across.

It was touched up on by the same guy as Being and Nothingness. Its Really Big Tree and its old school style, a style i wish there was more of. Hope you like it--ShabiDOO 22:21, March 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit Seriously doggy

I don't wanna be on it. The only thing currently keeping me from VFDing it is that I know everyone else on it will vote to keep it. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 00:46, March 24, 2011 (UTC)

Isn't your choice. You wrote the pages, got them featured, and now must live with the shame. Anyway, see my last note on the page. While you sleep! Aleister sometime much later
Yeah, it is the Hall of Shame, after all. This seems like telling your local porn store to take you off the Wall of Shame because you "don't wanna be on it." Well, shit, maybe you shouldn't have been "testing the durability" of their blow-up dolls. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 04:36, March 24, 2011 (UTC)
But it's an important engineering question! Likewise, this stuff here, it was to answer important psychological questions as to humour and whatnot - it has all been been for science. Doesn't mean one wants to associate with the subjects after. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:31, 24 March 2011

edit Cookies! Get cookies!

The cookie you wanted, eh? (How I love those s-letters...)

Newcookie Cat the Colourful has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
That would be then five pounds, please. Noobaward Cat the Colourful Noobaward 05:43, March 24, 2011
Must be a pretty great cookie - Snowman111 Butlerstar Frosty dah snowguy contribs KUN PLEB Big GREEN Button Big red button 05:46, March 24, 2011 (UTC)
It is. Very great. Wanna taste? I can give you it bit cheaper. Well? Cat the Colourful (Feed Me!!!)Leave me alone... Sleeping Cat 05:54, March 24, 2011
Sure why not Snowman111 Butlerstar Frosty dah snowguy contribs KUN PLEB Big GREEN Button Big red button 06:21, March 24, 2011 (UTC)
You forgot to put your name on the list. To get a cookie, sign yourself. I can give you the cookie still... But the name could be really nice. Noobaward Cat the Colourful Noobaward 12:06, March 24, 2011

edit Penis bird! Get penis bird!

Here's the penis bird you ordered. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 13:48, March 24, 2011 (UTC)

  < )
  ( \

Yes, my penis bird. It is the word. I will put it in a birdcage with my other penis birds, and feed it daily. Aleister the next day, dazed and confused

edit Grammar Police

Can you work with this? I really want to see this featured and that will happen woth your help. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 09:06, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Mimo, if you want to nominate it, then nominate it; the quotation marks you added last night will certainly clinch it. Or ask me. Though I personally would not even vote for it; it doesn't ramble, but it is a report on a nonexistent organization, with occasional ridicule of celebrities out of the blue. While we're here, though, I would like Aleister to comment: Do you think Section 2 should be ripped out? It clearly has a comedy concept; it's just not the concept of the rest of the article. Spıke Ѧ 11:11 25-Mar-11
I wouldn't be a good judge of that, as the entire page puts a fog over my brain and I don't even know what it's about. I tried reading it earlier when I saw Mimo's note, and got only so far when I began to scan it, and then a little while later after waking up from the haze only to realize where I was, I got out of there as quickly as possible. I'm the wrong person to talk to about anything concerning grammar. Aleister comma added
Grammar??? Can't you just answer the question? Spıke Ѧ 11:48 25-Mar-11
I thought I did. The page doesn't compute to me, so I don't know if the second section fits or not. Nothing on the page fits, as I would read it. Aleister 11:51 25-3-'11
That's an answer, thanks. Meanwhile, I am going to rip out that section. Spıke Ѧ 11:53 25-Mar-11
Meh, it's not good enough to be featured. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 13:20, March 25, 2011 (UTC)
Well, now we are all on the same page. Spıke Ѧ 14:10 25-Mar-11
What page? --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 14:11, March 25, 2011 (UTC)
Either this girl or this guy. Aleister geese fly north!
What about this lady? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:30, 25 March 2011

edit Ressurecting an old topic here,

Do you remember this? Your extreme sarcasm was too over the top (;*´Д`) . - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 17:43, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, I was kidding, hahahahahha, heeheeheeeheeheeheehee huh? Anyway, more importantly, I've never seen that face you just made there, that's a good one. Did you invent that? There have to be some that someone hasn't invented yet. Aleister 17:48 25-3-'11

I learned how to make these Emoticons from the nice people at 7chan. I have made a few I haven't seen before, such as (‐^▽^‐) . - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 17:50, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Hmmmm. We should have a forum here with people trying to make some that haven't been done before. I'll start it now before signing off. Aleister next minute or so

edit Grueslayer

Who the heck thought it was a good idea to make a website on it? --> Just saying. - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 14:30, March 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:India cracks down on fake pilot licenses

Can you do anything with my third paragraph? Spıke Ѧ 14:25 26-Mar-11

Thanks! that was about what it needed. Spıke Ѧ 20:57 26-Mar-11

Oh, OK. I just tossed in some stuff to pad it. I listen to these stand-up comics sometime and they are so good, makes me feel like a monkey scratching around for dimes on the spit soaked floor of a big-city comedy club while the main act is on stage wowing the audience with two liners. But they usually just talk about sex, marriage, or family. I've never tried an entire sex orienated stand-up routine article. Could be fun. But not today. Look, a dime! Aleister scratching

You can now throw it to me for good stand-up. File:UnNews--India cracks down on fake pilot licenses.mp3 Spıke Ѧ 21:29 26-Mar-11

If I hadn't written that quote then that Indian accent would not have been released into the world. Hanuman forgive me. Aleister later, with garlic nan

It already was running free, as Farzan Hasan in last May's File:UnNews--Bangladesh censors Facebook.mp3 Spıke Ѧ 22:34 26-Mar-11

edit Oh yeah...

And I'm not leaving, not that easily. Thank you for the send-off, however. >.< 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 14:16, 28 March 2011

Then don't say you are leaving in so serious a manner. Pwned. Now go, I won't try to drag you back again, and take lots of things around here with you. Oh, you say you have already. Good. You've made your bed, now lay on top of it. You've cooked your dinner, now share it with the first ginger that walks by. Go, be gone, get thee behind me that new guy two sections down. Ok, see ya. Aleister aren't you gone yet?
*bites Aleister* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 00:00, 29 March 2011

edit hentai

I removed some of the revert but kept the rest of the changes, who is authorized to remove the {{ugly}} tag? Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 15:07, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks. It's still pretty ugly, probably because of all those section heads followed by one liners. Maybe if each of the sections were expanded, and they do seem to have potential for expansion, although in a nice cute hentai way. Hentai is not child porn or even supposed to be porn, it is an artform using emotion, innocence, and other attributes to take on the appearance of porn but is actually a cute little romp pillow fight sex for teen girls. So maybe not so crude as nuanced, I dunno. I just fap to it, then forget about them. Aleister fap fap fap, ok, go home.

edit Need help.

Hey sir. I was wondering about since your article "Viking Metal" has been featured on the main page, you can help me with my article?

Why?:College is for suckers!

I need some advice on humour and structure so that I can nominate this as a featured article.

PS. Can you please also help me with this one, too? Also needs some ideas on humour.

UnPoetia:Black Sabbath

--Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 20:39, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Since I am a bored again Christian, and think the Devil is like a smudge or something, my religion won't allow me to assist you. But the good people at pee review will be falling over backwards to give you advice. They love devils and things (One of them gave a demon a handjob once. I won't tell you which one, or which demon). There are rainbows aplenty awaiting you at pee review. Now be gone, the power of christ compels you (to take these to pee review). Locca planic bewitzer. Aleister some time then and again

edit Glad...

you got rid of that microcephalic retard thing - I hated that. I know you read Last of the Mohicans. Pee review suggested the vietnam section was confusing. I thought it was obvious that Chingachgook didn't understand where he was or what he was fighting for (like everyone else in Vietnam). Was I wrong? --Sog1970 21:43, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Hey, that was a picture of me! Jeez. And jeez again, an Indian fighting against another native people trying to protect their land from the white man's army, of course he'd be confused and conflicted about which side to actually fight for. He was probably tempted to jump ship to the Ho Chi Minh's forces there, and had to concentrate on not changing sides. It's a very good article, and I see you've kept working on it (I haven't read it since I did the spelling edit), which is the way that you've excelled. Polishing, polishing, more writing, polishing, everyone should be doing that here but they don't. The only feature I ever had that came together fairly quickly was me just playing and lol the whole time I typed it, the "HowTo:Blow a dog" page. In my case that's been an exception to any rule I have. Your pages shine with good work. And the Last of the Mochicans, that's the only time since I've been here that I thought to myself "Why didn't I think of that?" It's a perfect showcase to comment and play out the Indian psych in conjunction with the historical drama of their past history and current situation. I'd suggest you keep working on it for a few more days at least, one of those "wake up in the middle of the night and write down an idea that floated up in a dream" type of pages. Congrats. Aleister 1:21 29-3-'11
There's no turd too sloppy to polish. i just wanted to check it made sense. i think the reviewer didn't understand bits of it and I wondered if that was my fault. --Sog1970 12:40, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit The Oldest User Ever

Remember him? Remember when I was banned for sockpuppetry for 6 hours. The thing is, it wasn't a vandal sockpuppet. My idea to relive the old man is to make an UnBook called UnBooks:The Oldest Man Ever: A 132 year autobiography. Tell me what you think. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:42, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

I won't read it today, tomorrow for sure, but great, I was hoping you'd do a page or five in the old man voice. You were very good at that. I knew it was a sockpuppet but didn't know who it was. Read my note to Sog above about his ability to polish and write and polish, that's what could make your old man article shine. It could be an opus. Aleister 1:23 29-3-'11

edit I just noticed



On my talk page. Are you some kind of psychic? Seriously how did you do that? Jackofspades (talk) 00:04, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

Of course he is, he's Aleister! --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:06, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
Truthful answer, yes, but psychic stuff is simply a by-product of other stuff. On the Mimo thing, that's just common sense, he wanders by a lot, in lots of places (was that his first visit to you? Maybe then.) And thanks for the thing that sounds like a compliment, Lollipop. I'd use my crystal ball but it's got french fries all over it. Ummmmmmmm, french fries. Aleister 1:27 29-3-'11thy

edit *Achoo!*

Excuse me. Anyway, it looks to me that you voted for on HowTo:Become a Master of Disguise and were inducted into the brotherhood of disguise masters. Well guess what? It made it into featured queue, which entitles you to the golden Groucho Marx glasses award. Congratulations.


Thanks for the vote, dude!

--Tophat headless 15:26, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, and congratulations! Those are great glasses. Aleister 15:47 same day as he said
Thanks! I'm just getting used to this Photoshop thing. --Tophat headless 16:27, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit Dinosaur Birds

Just in case you didn't see the link I posted in our discussion elsewhere Pffft! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:44, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

The article says dinosaurs may have evolved from birds. Or vica versa. In any case, birds are dinosaurs and that's the thing about them. When a crow is trained to say "Hello" to you, you are being greeted by a dinosaur. Aleister Friday Friday
I refuse to get into an "I'm right and everybody who disagrees with me is wrong argument." Have a nice day. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:37, March 31, 2011 (UTC)
I'll get into that argument if anyone needs someone to do it. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 19:42, March 31, 2011 (UTC)
[insert rant here about words and meanings and saurischia and ornithischia, and how, in fact, they are entirely backwards and technically we are all instance of the number C]
[insert justification based on how you are all wrong here] 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:48, 31 March 2011
Huh? I'm not trying for an argument. Oh well. But parrots! When a parrot demands a cracker from you, it's a dinosaur talking in english asking to be fed! To me that is one of the coolest things on the planet. Aleister the alphabet is only lines and rounded things
So when a parrot talks to you, you'e talking to a dinosaur. Cool. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:15, March 31, 2011 (UTC)
I know! Crows and things too. Robins demand raisins from me every day. Al seconds then more seconds later
And ostriches are giant cheese graters! I knew it all along! Wait, what do you mean I'm in the wrong room? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 21:18, 31 March 2011

edit By the Powers Vested in Me by Her Imperial Majesty of Imperial Colonization

It has come to the Imperial Navy's attention that thou, through diverse great efforts, hath reached the esteemable goal of having served Her Imperial Majesty in five Imperial Colonizations. Therefore, it behooves us to grant unto thee the rank and title of Commodore in Her Majesty's Imperial Colonization. Go forth and colonize!

Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  19:45, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, well thank you matey. I shall get my artilery out, dress uniform on, and salute you. I like the colour there, navy blue I reckon. Aleister the other side of the sundial

edit Bevanz

Has been missing over a month. The last time I saw him around was when I changed my username from Mcpee to Lollipop. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:17, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

Lots of that happens here. Many of the noobs of the month leave. MrN and Happytimes just left one day and never returned. DrStrange left, but comes back from time to time. Some others. Aleister why formally sign on your own talk page? I don't get it.
Actually, Happymonkey told us he was going. MrN disappeared one day, as did Bevanz. Perhaps they are dead? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:21, March 31, 2011 (UTC)
No, HappyTimes, not happymonkey who ran off only to have an honored contest named after him. Dead? Perhaps. If they are dead are they ghosts? Very likely. Happy monkey may be a ghost too. Aleister
Oh, happtimes. I liked his sig with the green dancing banana. Peanut Butter Jelly Time! --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:32, March 31, 2011 (UTC)
Yes, and he was the commander of the colonization of Dinosaur when he left. Makes it more of a mystery, as he was happy up until he left except I remember he was disturbed about wikia changing all the screens and fucing around with the skins. Aleister he said skins
Or it could possibly be the misconception of that he thought that I was leaving, when all I actually did was change my username. It's creepy when that happens: Lah-de-dah, edits every day...then BAM! They're gone! You don't see their name in recent changes. I'll leave a message on his talk. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:54, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

edit My April Fool's sig

(: --     Chompy domo-kun-small KUN Mcpee Go Crazy Canadian flag icon About ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Lolliflix 22:29, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

edit A quick question

What day is it? I'm so lost. Symbol neutral vote JackOfSpades [talk] 00:24, April 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit Moo cows.

Unbooks mousepad UnBooks Author of the Month March 2011

'Sall. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 07:13, 1 April 2011

edit I Agree.

How is this a joke? I'm having genuine headeaches looking at the Uncyclopedia on this day. What a stupid holiday, I've had fake messages saying my ISP has shut me off!! I really find that this is some sort of sick joke, as I can't even change it! Also, please tell Kip this is quite possibely the worst he could of thought of. Thanks. - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 16:43, April 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit The great Wikia debate: Aleister vs Skully showdown

Okay, dude, it looks like you want a Q&A session about Uncyclopedia's relationship with Wikia and some other stuff in general. So instead of boring the general public with it I'm bringing it to your talk page! Ask me whatever questions you like and I'll answer them to the best of my ability. I do insist that you call me names, though; it keeps the seriousness level from hitting too high. Numbskull.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 02:36 Apr 02, 2011

All I know is that the hosting began on New Year's Day 2006. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 02:40, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I can't think of any more. On the forum I just asked who does own uncy then, if wikia just hosts us (and what does that mean, that we are like a party guest who is sleeping in their spare bedroom?). What do they get from the arrangement? I thought that Chronarion screwed the site one day and just sold it to wikia and left. So lots of this info is new to me. My concern is that the site will someday be overrun with ads, then I and others will leave. You've probably seen Cracked, I can't even look at that site with all the ads. But most everything is already asked on the forum. I can't think of any names off the top of my head, because it's been skull thumped and is all woozy. Aleister minutes later
Since we're having a Q&A, Al may tell us about Joanie Fair!!! --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 02:47, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
Chron did sell the site, yes, along with its domain name. Not terribly long ago Wikia switched our main domain from to, in order to boost their ranking with some site that advertisers use to determine how important a site is (and therefore if they want to advertise on it).
Contrary to popular belief, Uncyclopedia did have ads on it once. I think they were Google ads somewhere on the sidebar. Totally non-intrusive and I didn't even realize they were there and gone until someone pointed it out. The concern about Wikia screwing us over with advertising is unfounded, however; Wikia is all too aware of how much the userbase here would react to such a thing. If they were to switch out the current skin with a different one, they'd have to deal with nothing but complaint after complaint, along with a large portion of the userbase deserting the site. So they technically could do it whenever they wanted, but it'd be too much of a headache for them.
Furthermore Uncyclopedia's name and logo are copyrighted, I believe. I don't know who (if anyone) owns the copyright for "Uncyclopedia," but I do know the potato logo is rcmurphy's (and therefore not Wikia's). As for the content, it's licensed under Creative Commons, which means that - if push came to shove - someone else could set up a server with Uncyclopedia's content on it provided they were careful enough to keep the page histories (that is to say, attribution).
As for what Wikia gets out of it... I'm not sure. Part of it is the pageviews, looking bigger and more appealing to advertisers. Sometimes they run spotlight ads on the bottom, I've seen that. There might also be ads visible to non logged in users. But all in all, we're far from turning into Cracked, or other Wikia wikis.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 03:04 Apr 02, 2011
Just got back from things as well as a crashed computer from all the hurly burly, the pushem shovem, the "Why you, and your momma too!" and "Whazyatalkinbout?" So what I get out of it is that Chronion is on a beach somewhere, we can copy everything if wikia wants to something or other, and RC owns the potato. I've learned a lot today, thanks. Seriously. Now I'll spend a few minutes seeing the world at Above Top (a must daily read), but their ad olacement is about as bad as Cracked in some aspects (they have ads in the talk threads, lots of ads! Things like that fuel my concern to keep what is so nice about this place). Thanks for all the fish. Aleister 20 minutes later or thereemsabouts
AdBlock, my friend. It helps me survive the Internet these days.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 03:18 Apr 02, 2011

We hashed this out in the Forum the last time Wikia (evidently by error) made ads visible to us. Aleister would love to live in a world without filthy lucre, but me, I consider Wikia's provision of an only occasionally imperfect platform to be payment in full for my only occasionally imperfect creative services, and I expect them to take steps to pay the freight. Wikia's business model seems to be to become a top gathering-place on the Web (with an increasingly rewarding mix of content, and working to develop users' expectation of not being pissed off too often), which it can then parlay into many other moneymaking options. Traffic, traffic, traffic! which strokes our writers' egos too. Spıke Ѧ 12:20 2-Apr-11

Wikipedia parody site equals no ads. Jimbo Wales finds ways to fund wikipedia, he can fund uncyclopedia from the same funding pool (I'll donate a coin or two). Aleister 12:32 2-4-'11
Lucky for us we have Wikia, if they cut us loose, we'd have to pay every month or something. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 18:14, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
What's this "we". Your pocketbook is deep enough to float the site for a few years without you even noticing. Aleister 18:17 2-4-'11
You still haven't answered my question about the mysterious Joanie Fair of Yugoslavia. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 18:54, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit So, I got to thinking...

And then I immediately lost my train of thought. But somewhere along the line, I thought it might be a lovely idea to give you a ninjastar, except then I ran into the slight problem in which I don't actually know how to give users ninjastars off the top of my head, and for that matter, a ninjastar to an Aleister in Chains for being an Aleister in Chains just seemed... odd. You know?

So I guess I'll just thank you and then run away, instead.

Thank you, Aleister. Thank you for all the wonderful things you do around here, for all that you write and say and inspire and pie. You're aweseome.

*runs away* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:12, 3 April 2011
Thanks for all your nice compliments, if ands or buts it takes one to know one. You could just as well substitute your name for that Aleister guy, and it would be totally accurate then. And jees, no ninjastars. I'd just cut myself on it and bleed all over the rug. I'm kind of dropping the chains thing as few people got its meanings. Wondering if I can change all my stuff to just Aleister? If you were an admin you could do that for me. So I guess you just have to be elected, again. Aleister 19:42 3-4-'11
But I don't do what you have done. I couldn't; reassuring folks, and reminding folks of things, and all the while keeping track of everything, it's just not in my nature. You, however, pull it off brilliantly. And as for meanings... who ever gets the meanings of things? What does it matter, so long as you know the meanings? Or perhaps not. You can get a namechange, but not from any administrator, nor even from a bureaucrat, though that would probably be the case if we weren't on wikia. Anyhow, ask sannse. She'd probably oblige, if you're certain you want that. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 21:50, 3 April 2011

edit I give you a cookie

Newcookie Kevin Fillips has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

My reference to unnews being ruined is the distinct preference made for real stories misunderstood, as opposed to obsurd original news stories similar to I lucked out once when my long pondered notion of requiring subatomic passports for the hedron particles just happened to have a news article at the time I wrote it. That was happenstance. I have hoards of ideas that I am now hesitant to publish because the rules seem to have changed by an arbiter of humor or procedure. I am spread very thin over the internets. I have set up my own fake newsbriefs blog for when I want to pull a prank. --K3vin-Yak-Bak MUN,CM,NS 20:08, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the cookie! I've already eaten the underside of it, the part you can't see, and left the thinnest of top crust to look at. Ha! UnNews is what you make it, SPIKE has his own preferences and has run it very well, but he doesn't control it. He does a good job, but it is a wiki. He and I have had go arounds about some stuff, but never to any extent where an article is lost. I've only had one UnNews feature, and it was on one that SPIKE knew nothing about until it totally submerged any objection he could have. Ha! Please write some more UnNews things on whatever topic you would like, I for two would like to read them. Good to meet youz! Al minutes later

The underside? Yuck, you know the last time that pan was cleaned? --K3vin-Yak-Bak MUN,CM,NS 21:34, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

About 3 months ago, I cleaned it last. Feels awkward because he interrupted a conversation between Al and some other guy. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:10, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

edit Good day Sir

I assume you are one of the authors of the Friday page. I'm not sure if you read my comments but I am Jokerman, another one of them "n00bs" you guys like to torture so much. It was your brilliant work on that entry that led me to join Uncyclopedia I'm not all that great with wikis yet {I spent a bit of time on Wikipedia as an IP adding to articles on Medieval history) and just wanted to say hi. I added this to your site. I assume also you are an administrator. I hope your page gets highlights. Oh, and would your website have any use for a parody U.S. History/Government tome? If so, I would like to publish one. Many thanks for your time and keep up the good work!--Jokerman 21:10, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

See Al? Everyone wants you to be opped. Jackofspades (talk) 21:12, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
When I first came, I thought Al was an admin too. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:25, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
I should answer this op thing, and thanks for the nice words. In mnho uncy should opt about five people, just so that all times are covered and some other people can do things. Dexter, Socky, Lyrthya (or however the spelling goes), someone else, and only then would I be comfortable being an admin just to do little things when nobody else is around. But the thing with me is that if I feel I have to do something, I don't want to do it. And I don't want to be in a position at uncy where I don't want to do something but am expected to - if I had a goldfish I'd starve it, just to see which direction the tail would float - so if I were an admin I wouldn't do some of the things people would think I should do, and would probably just do the stuff I wanted to do. That's why we should have lots and lots of new admins, to cover all the bases. If there are four or five people capable and trustworthy (Ha!), opt them. But me? Nah. Like I said once, I'd slip all the coding secrets to the 92 vandal, and then play "huff the site" with him. Aleister 3:27 5-4-'11

edit In answer to your question...

On that VFD thing. Of course I'm out of my mind; that's not the point. But sometimes it's interesting to nominate things just to see what people do and say, you know? Now... don't tell anyone, okay? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 04:08, 5 April 2011

Someday somebody is going to slip you a poison oak sandwich, and you will itch and itch for at least two weeks. Only then will the animals in the forest be happy. Aleister 4:11 5-4-'11
I best be logging off this village now. One very good thing you did by nomming DoF is that people who didn't know about it will see the commotion and click on it just to see what the fun is about, then they will be partying partying. So, good work, spreading the data and all. Aleister soon later then
You assume there are animals left alive in the forest... *shifty eyes* But yeah, I'ma set up a tracer for recent edits on the thing... see what this sparks. Edits really are very few and far between on it, though, normally, just a few passing IPs and the odd noob. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 04:40, 5 April 2011
This is what I mean by dead, anyhow: User:Lyrithya/Departure of Fun. No edits. Ghost town. I'm removing it from the templates. Apparently I've lost my mind, too. How weird is that? Poor Socky... he kept insisting and I kept seeing shadows. All I ever see, though. Does this look shadowed to you? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 08:04, 5 April 2011

edit Dinosaur made it into queue!



Thanks for the vote (and nom) dude!

--Tophat headless 15:11, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

edit Thanks for voting, man!

I'm glad you changed your mind about voting, anyway, thanks again. --Tophat headless 22:42, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

You're very welcome, and it's a very good article. I enjoyed it. Q_Q 00:46 6-4-'11

edit Spam

I just got this in my inbox. Thought you'd appreciate it.

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Pup 08:26 06 Apr '11

edit UnNews:911 conspiracies explained by a sandwich

I don't mind that you edited {{RecentUnNews}}. I am not perfectly fastidious about doing it, I never actually look at the main page, and there was a time during the unspoken hand-off from Zim to me where I didn't do it at all. The extreme non-squareness of the illustration precludes it from being featured. "Lazer" is spelled "laser" except in laz0r eyes, and your dateline should be in bold.

Your story is well-written, though creating a conspiracy theorist for the purpose of showing how ridiculous he looks is a concept that doesn't inspire me. Ptok added himself to {{RecentUnNews}} recently, on a story about how Polish politicians stammered and interrupted one another on television, a concept that inspired me even less.

Your change history supposes that I was in Maine clubbing a shapely union activist. In fact there is no need to go all the way to Augusta to Bangor; unionists are in our own state capital. This winter, our 295-105 Republican majority ruled that if a local school district does not come to terms with the teachers' union, they work under their previous contract without their most recent pay increase being repeated forever, as was the case before. (Individual teachers still do get raises as they move up the pay ladder; it's just that all the numbers in the ladder don't change every year.) That wasn't enough for our legislature, and the House has just voted that, in the case of an impasse, everyone becomes an employee-at-will and can even be fired for cause. Spıke Ѧ 22:58 6-Apr-11

Back from clubbing seals, eh? Hiring some child labor to assist you in the clubbing of the seals. Yo, thanks for the high praise. You're probably right about laser, that's the more common spelling (although this page is the other way, I'll change that if nobody has yet. This is a page I started maybe six weeks-two months ago, and left laying around. Well, for sticking it on the template, I'll add the peanut butter Building 7, that should make it perfect for the Number One spot (sandwich is #1, sandwich is #1, or somewhere) Give me a few minutes to play with it. Lasers to you. Aleister 00:03 7-4-'11
p.s. 00:20 New pic added, all dressed and ready to make the feature template. But maybe I will eat the sandwiches before you get to it.

An hour later. Nah, see above under "concept." Lead paragraph uses the colloquial "whipped out," doesn't use the obvious "Dagwood." Where? When? Did the conspiracy expert give this talk for change at a tube station? Also, "All right" is two words, though already is one word.

However, it beats my animal-rights-Libya story, a two-joke sandwich with a Shoop from a user talk page as the only meat, and will take over in the 4-Spot. Spıke Ѧ 01:23 7-Apr-11

PS--You add something to {{RecentUnNews}}, you remove one from the bottom. That's the rule. Also, would you please see if you can do something about the photo in Anon's otherwise-excellent UnNews:Oden, Wheelblazers approach perfect season? Spıke Ѧ 01:30 7-Apr-11

edit I see

ads. Do you see them too? Jackofspades (talk) 17:23, 7 April 2011

No, only on the bottom where they've always been, but these seem larger now. Do you have ads on the top or side? Maybe an admin can politely ask wikia to stop using the monobook skin on Uncy, this seems to be the problem. It's not even wikipedia looking at all. Aleister 18:56 7-4-'11
There can be ads on the top and the side too? This is an outrage! Jackofspades (talk) 20:40, 7 April 2011
I see broken formatting everywhere. Just think, if they break this much just putting the highlights back, how much'll the break putting in full advertisements?! Then again, that would just be here, not across Wikia, as they're already there, no? So maybe not as much. I mean, this did break stuff across Wikia. Wheeeeee! 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 20:58, 7 April 2011

edit Congrats on the Feature dude!

Althouhg all credit goes to the IP. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 02:10, April 8, 2011 (UTC)

Actually Lollipop, if you rewrite a crappy article, and it gets featured, you get the credit. Just saying. --Tophat headless 03:25, April 8, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks Lollipop. That was another fun one to write. In this case I'll split the difference on both your comments and have half-credit. The foundation of the storyline was there, it was new, and it was well-written in many parts when I started in (someone had put an ICU tag on it, but that is a subjective tag, as is this one - "Tag, you're it!"), then I added lots to it. So half-credit for myself and the IP seems fair. I hope he comes back in time to see it on the front page, he hasn't answered my posts on his talk page as of last night. Thanks again. Aleister 9:40 8-4-'11ty
Good. I'm taking a mini sabbatical on Uncyc...i'll be popping in a few times this week maybe. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:47, April 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hi!


Well, I do have a bit extra laying around in the couch cushions. Here, I'll dig it out for you. There you go. - Aleister 19:32 8-4

Boobs! Crap! Boobs! Cocksucker! Hi I'm Mimo&maxus. Do you remember me? --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 11:26, April 8, 2011 (UTC)

Mimo and Maxus. Mimo, and...Maxus? No, can't say I recall. Do I owe you money? A creditor? The check is in the mail, don't you know. Aleister check is in the mail
Actually you DO own me money which you're gonna give to me right now. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 17:57, April 8, 2011 (UTC)
Ι will be fine with them until you find the rest of the money you owe me. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 19:34, April 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit Glory be!

Congrats on the FA of "Friday". I loved to see it jump from last over first. And good enough even for Wikipedia it is obviously a subject, opposite of BNA, that is very popular here, specially younger people. Like my son cannot even relate to racism, what to speak of slavery (although I noticed he doesn't have any black friends, either). But it still begs the question why do blacks get the most attention when they are the worst in many ways? Other races are good, hard working, smart, but there is no mercy here for their worthless races. Racism here means blackism - lets face it. Excellent.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:24, Apr 8

Just watch. Al will make a Suddenly, Japs! page to prove you wrong. Jackofspades (talk) 21:28, 8 April 2011
Thanks J. But if someone wrote "Suddenly, Japs" then Mhaille would write "Suddenly, Aps", and then someone would have to write "Suddenly, J", and then where would we be? And thanks Funnybony. The IP left a solid foundation to add to. I think the biggest ism here is against stupid people, and as one of them I resent it mightly. To be stupid on uncyclopedia is a sin that is even mentioned to everyone upfront (be funny but not stupid, or some stupid saying like that). When well meaning stupid IP's wander into uncy, they are killed by the dozens every day. So blacks have it easy, as do midgets and gays, who have it made in the sun. Stupid people, that's where the big boys roam. Al 9:46 de next daze.
Hehe! I was in an anti racism, antiwar band. I always admired MLKing. I was pals with Hendrix, but I was terrorized by jigs in my friggen high school. ALL they wanted to do was stomp on any lone white guy in a big 15 against one slaughter. High school was hell because of those bastards. And, as far as I could see then, the Vietnamese had way less human rights than the blacks. We weren't carpet bombing and slaughtering blacks, but we were in Vietnam doing it to gooks. So I say, fuck black racism, they're goddamn lucky that Uncyclopedians are such reverse-racists ONLY in their favor. That said, they shouldn't have a heart attack on Halloween if some kid comes trick-or-treating dressed as a "job". HAha. Rant over. GRIN. Friday article is really good enough for Wikipedia, seriously. Is there a page on Wikipedia? With a few tweaks it could stick. It's quite educational -- VERY! Bravo! - OH! And Dylan is soon going to play in Vietnam! Well whattya know!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:36, Apr 9
The old saying "There are 15 bad apples in every bushel" applies. I'm sure there was at least one black in your high school who didn't want to stomp on the whites, and if she ever got out of her wheelchair I'd be the first to give her a helping hand. Thanks fo all the compli's. The IP did start the ball rolling on the page and set the tone. All hail IP's. Did Hendrix like white women as much asc they say, I was reading recently on Above Top that one theory is that Hendrix was Obama's real father because his mom was in Seattle at the same time as Hendrix. He must have had the semen capacity of John Scherer, which is where I'm off to now. Thanks again, and I'm hoping for your Jeff Beck page to catch the ball next. Al 14:48 9-4-'11

edit Check this experience with black folks - early '66:

Finally we spot the dimly lit neon sign of a small Watts blues club, The Inferno, and pull up in front. As we all begin to load the gear in, a crowd of heavy, scary-looking black dudes stand around checking us out. We work in silence, too afraid to speak out. The small blues club is dark and smoky. We’re setting up the equipment, watched by a club full of bloods who are murmuring stuff as they see Glenn pull out his ‘cowboy’ slide guitar.

We get ready and are all set up on the small corner stage. I take the mike. ‘Test! One two three, test! OK! Hi everyone. We’re the Misunderstood, and we’re here to play the blues! ‘OK, guys!’ We start up ‘Blues With A Feeling’. After the first verse the crowd bursts out clapping and shouting applause. Sh*t! We’re like, really relieved that the all black crowd likes us. We blast out about twelve blues numbers and finish off with ‘Goin’ To New York.’ What the? When we stop playing the crowd is silent. Jeez! Gulp! Then all at once the audience swarms around the stage pulling us down and hugging us and buying us drinks.

I spot Steve with a group of blacks. One dude tells him, ‘Way I figga, yo all playin’ betta blues than old Jefferson las’ night.’ ‘Thanks, we love the blues,’ Steve smiles. Another black dude says, ‘Man, y’all the blues brothas, fo sho.’ All the other blacks start talking at once and they’re all slapping us on the backs and praising us. God! Look at friggen John Peel! What a huge grin!

After the gig, as we’re outside loading the stuff into the Uhaul trailer, two carloads of white-trash rednecks screech to a halt in front. One is a pick-up covered in primer, the other a Chevy convertible. Three rednecks jump out and come over to us. One asshole pushes me, and Steve immediately jumps in between. ‘Sh*t, what you pansies doin’ here in nigga land?’ this dickhead asks. Steve’s like, ‘Man, it’s cool.’ He points his thumb over his shoulder toward the front of the club. ‘We just played here, in this club.’ This other redneck looks surprised. ‘Man, what? Y’all played here? Fer them niggas? What y’all, some kind-a nigga lovers or somethin?’ ‘Come on man, we’re a band,’ I plead. ‘We’re not against anything, except war!’ Another redneck shouts, ‘Bet you nigga lovers think y’all hot shiit! Huh?’ ‘Naa man, it’s cool, no big deal,’ Steve and I try to cool down the scene, but these dirtbags won’t let go. ‘Ta hell with you, whatcha call my buddy?’ one screams. ‘Nothin, man, nothing!’

It turns into a pre-fight standoff as the ten rednecks start toward us. Thinking fast, I glance around, spot Aladdin’s ‘magic lamp’ on the street, I quickly pick it up, rub it, make my wish, and... ‘Poof!’ In a cloud of smoke twenty black dudes come pouring out of the club and surround us. Ouuuuo! Heavy! ‘Bad To The Bone!’ Yeah, crank it up! One brother shouts at these scum, ‘Hey white buoy! What cho all doin messin with our soul brothers hea?’ He turns to a huge black dude and says, ‘Hey Leroy, cho think we goin’ burn some white trash taa-night?’ ‘Sh***t, blood! I ain’t prej’dist or nothin,’ Leroy slurs in perfect Jive, ‘but I just hate honkies!’ First dude is like, ‘Yeah man, time for some turkey jerky! Whatcha say, bloods?’

All the black guys start shouting and some pull out knives, and some lead pipes, which they show off. Holy SH*T! Suddenly all the rednecks bolt back into their cars and burn rubber as the black crowd chases them down the street throwing bottles and bricks at their rides. We can hardly believe it! One black dude comes running back, kinda out-of-breath, and says to us, ‘Man, yo all our blues brathas, doncha worry ‘bout nothin ‘roun here!’ ALL RIGHT! - Blues RULES! True (John Peel) story. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:45, Apr 9

So, if I understand this right, you played the blues, white guys said "Hey, who you entertaining you??" and the black guys had your back. And John Peel stood on the side and took notes or gave the white guys money or did the black guys know the white guys. Like, were they friends or lovers? And who had the most blues in your group? This, seriously, is a good story, and for the guys to come out and have your back shows the power of your music. Except for Leroy, who probably liked the knives and lead pipes, and is someone I'd like on my side when white guys show up. Thanks for sharing. Aleister 1:54 10-4-'11
HAA! No excuse is good enough NOT to stomp some white trash. Hehe!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:06, Apr 11
(dropping by)..interesting story there FB. Have you written your memoirs to preserve this episode and other stuff? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:01, April 11, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Romy! Sure "Like, Misunderstood" available on Amazon HERE. But if you write me by email I'll send you an eBook copy for free. Just like Uncyclopedia, you get what you don't pay for. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:30, Apr 11
Ok thanks FB..send it to Thanks and I'll stick on the kindle. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:35, April 11, 2011 (UTC)
*kitty eyes* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 15:39, 11 April 2011

edit Dinosaurs aren't extinct any more--featured!

(helped resurrect the great IC team with revitalizing writing)

For this you get 1/2 Feature Credit. Woo Hoo! Compassrose IC WHY??? (stratagems)  20:59, April 11, 2011 (UTC)
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