User:Aleister in Chains/7
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This Rolling Stone interview was conducted in the underground bunker of Chang and Eng Bunker in the winter of 2011/2012. Eng, as we all know, is a vampire, while Chang is just a guy. They were both born on May 11, 1811, and recently celebrated their 200th birthday. Happy bi-centennial boys!
Eng: Thank you, most kind Sir. You honor us having your Rolling Stone into our lair.
Chang: Kill me, please.
Well, tell us a little of your story. When did you first know you were Siamese twins, and not just wrapped-up in a tight blanket together.
Eng: We born in Samutsongkram province of Siam - which now bears the occidental fake name Thailand. We celebrate each birthday with cake with blood icing and ice cream with blood topping. Yumskers! Mom, she so shocked at our birth she in her fright coma for week. But papa, a fisherman, took in stride. "Looks like a catfish," he told neighbors who gathered to stare.
Chang and I connect at the breastbone and shoulder with just a little bit of cartilage. I can separate us with butter knife with you sitting here. Our livers are fused together, but are independent of each other. A dentist could separate us.
Chang: Or a vet. I've talked to a vet.
Then why haven't you gone your own way?
Eng: No want to. Chang is good companion. He no care about remote, and has only one favorite show, Curb Your Enthusiasm, which I also greatly enjoy. So no arguments. I like Indian food...
Chang: Indians. He drains and eats Indians.
Eng: ...and Chang here likee Chinese.
Chang Bunker (Template:Lang-th) and Eng Bunker (May 11, 1811 – January 17, 1874)
In 1829, they were "discovered" in Siam by British merchant Robert Hunter and exhibited as a curiosity during a world tour. Upon termination of their contract with their discoverer, they successfully went into business for themselves. In 1839, while visiting Wilkesboro, North Carolina, the twins were attracted to the area and settled on a 110 acres (Expression error: Missing operand for *. ) farm in nearby Traphill, becoming naturalized United States citizens.
Determined to start living a normal life as much as possible, the brothers settled on a plantation, bought slaves, and adopted the name "Bunker". On April 13, 1843, they married two sisters: Chang to Adelaide Yates and Eng to Sarah Anne Yates. Interestingly, this made their respective children double first cousins. In addition, because Chang and Eng were identical twins, their children were genetically equivalent to half-siblings, thus making them genetically related in the same manner as half-siblings who are also first cousins.
Their Traphill home is where they shared a bed built for four. Chang and his wife had 10 children; Eng and his wife had 11. In time, the wives squabbled. and eventually two separate households were set up just west of Mount Airy, North Carolina in the community of White Plains – the twins would alternate spending three days at each home. During the American Civil War Chang's son Christopher and Eng's son Stephen both fought for the Confederacy. Chang and Eng lost part of their property as a result of the war, and were very bitter in their denunciation of the government in consequence.
After the war, they again resorted to public exhibitions, but were not very successful. They always maintained a high character for integrity and fair dealing, and were much esteemed by their neighbors. The twins died on the same day in January 1874. Chang, who had contracted pneumonia, died rather suddenly in his sleep. Eng awoke to find his brother dead, and called for his wife and children to attend to him. A doctor was summoned to perform an emergency separation, but Eng refused to be separated from his dead brother. He died three hours later. (An urban legend claims that Eng died of a broken heart upon finding Chang dead, but this was not the case.) Chang's widow died on April 29, 1892 and Eng's widow died on May 21, 1917.
grave near Mt. Airy, North Carolina]]
The fused liver of the Bunker brothers was preserved and is currently on display at the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Numerous artifacts of the twins, including some of their personal artifacts and their travel ledger, are displayed in the North Carolina Collection Gallery in Wilson Library at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. This includes the original watercolor portrait of Chang and Eng from 1836.
Chang and Eng Bunker had at least 21 children between them; their descendants, including several sets of non-conjoined twins, now number just over 1,500.
edit See also
- Liberal Party of Tarzan's Tiny Feet
- HowTo:Dash the Hopes and Dreams of the Common Man
- Jed Clampett's wallet
<ref>tags exist, but no
<references/>tag was found