User:Aleister in Chains

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"What did you know and when did you know it? Wait, that wasn't me."

photos of my backyard, after planting a landmine:

My dubious award stuff. Bring a fork.

Pages created by this semi-literate idiot

• Mortal Sin featured
• Chicago Seven featured
• Giant Jew Band featured
• Warm piss water featured
• The Threat of Festivus featured
• Cemetery of the Absurd featured
• Why?:Reinvent the wheel featured
• UnPoetia:Well-Oiled Birds featured with Guildy
• Ghosts never seem to play fair featured
• UnBooks:The Old Man and LV featured
• People Who Like to Fuck Naked featured
• HowTo:Turn nature into collectibles featured
• A pizza a day keeps the doctor away featured
• UnBooks:My Daddy Has Two Yachts featured
• UnBooks:Fishing For Children featured
• California Marijuana Initiative featured
• Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
• HowTo:Create a sandstorm featured
• Dennis Kucinich's wife featured & good on vfg
• HowTo:Make it drink
• HowTo:Get a suntan
• HowTo:Blow a dog featured
• Above Top Secret featured
• Anne Hathaway featured
• Snow Angels featured
• Viking Metal featured

• Garage sale featured
• Tombstone featured
• Sideboob featured & good on vfg
• Peacock
• Skunk featured
• Bed featured
• Rolex featured
• Disguise featured
• Dreaming featured
• Phil Ochs
• Todd Palin featured
• Bipolar Girl featured
• Laugh track
• Corpsearian featured
• Bing Crosby featured
• James Bevel featured
• Britainy Spear
• Oz (TV series)
• Whale (colour) born and featured on Illogicopedia
• Find the Froggy
• Damaged goods featured
• Claudette Colvin
• Never on Sunday featured
• December 23, 2012
• HowTo:Go into the light featured four days in a row!
• Homophones (grammar) featured
• Poop throwing monkeys good on vfg
• UnBooks:Luck of the Irish born on Illogicopedia
• Welcome Party for Noobs
• Uncyclopedia is almost full featured
• UnBooks:A new lease on life
• UnBooks:Stairway To Heaven
• UnTunes:Troops on the Ground
• Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!
• The Wingfield family photo album
• I must stop editing and go to sleep
• The USA versus the primitive Taliban with 90s Kid21
• HowTo:Put the toothpaste back in the tube
• UnBooks:Did you ever lock horns with a goat? born and featured on Illogicopedia
• Animals with feet war with animals with no feet
• Uncyclopedia:Dance like you've never danced before
• That time I took a sojourn to visit my friend Jim Freklowski
• That time I nearly drowned during my sojourn on the Titanic
• As generals gathered in their masses, just like "witches at black masses".

Major rewrites by an illiterate cowherder

• Tantra featured a guy thought we were Wikipedia. Add'd humour, pics, data & links, with Funnybony.
• Ann Coulter featured rw of a GerryCheever rw
• Marilyn Monroe featured VFD save of Claudius Prime's page, later with Black Flamingo.
• Kitten Cookbook featured VFD save, nice assists by Romartus and Zana Dark.
• Mohandas Gandhi featured editaddits, pics, with MrN9000 & Ryuken.
• In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida featured existing page by PF4Eva, accidental collab.
• HowTo:Frighten small children featured expanded idea and pics pics pics!
• Jesus was Christian, NOT Jewish featured two days --- VFD save of a 92 vandal page
• Martin Luther King, Jr. featured shameful edits to The Woodburninator's shameful page.
• Pearl necklace featured rw & pics, VFD save.
• Puddle of shit featured a shameful VFD save
• Spider featured rw with Fredd after a deluded user put it on VFH.
• Evil Jesus VFD save of an IP ravaged Zim page, editsaddits and pics!
• Star of David from a stub, expanded existing twisted idea.
• Eve, Unununium, and Phoenix Islands, kept some, lots-o-addits, pics.
• Communion, Bob Marley,Mark David Chapman likewise.
• Fair citizens 'cept for the first paragraph left by a troll IP - some o' the same with Australia's history.

Frat, Colonizations, and other collabs talked into by workaholics

• Chicken featured Frat collab
• Dinosaurs featured Colonization
• Friday (song) featured added to 74.77.239.74's page.
• Jack Dempsey featured played along with Funnybony on his page.
• Science fiction featured Colonization
• Bruce Wayne featured Colonization
• Dead Dicks featured played on Funnybony's extremely good anti-war page.
• Mike Tyson featured played along with Funnybony on his page.
• Blockbuster featured Frat collab
• Tim Burton featured Frat collab
• Ron Paul featured lots of edits with MrN9000 on page mostly shaped by Jocke Pirat
• Nintendo featured First Frat collab
• Weird featured Frat collab with Black Flamingo
• Inbox featured
• Taco featured Frat collab
• Lonely Hearts Column featured Black Flamingo's page, as one of his gang of ten.
• UnNews:FED cites plight of Kennedy, Jesus to warn dissenters featured editsaddits to Funnybony's very good page.

Several coats o' paint on these and others

• Frankly Disappointing Telescope featured added lots of PicsnCaptions to a great NicknNora page.
• United States Emperors, exorcised the soul of Dick Nixon, crowned Sinead O'Connor as the once and future Emperor. At times reverted by citizens.
• Clara Bow, Clara Crow, UncleTom, Snakeland Thainglish, pineanaconda, Rastazzwoods, phosherbdogwatching
• Chicago Cubs back to its original theme, editsaddits.
• Camera Obsura Collection, a one-time user's extremely good article, editsaddits&pics

And then there's...Bagga

UnStuff reported by this unscribe

• UnNews:Marijuana Legalized in Florida for Even-Numbered addresses lead UnNews for four days
• UnNews:Pope Benedict Tackled, Demands Rematch
• UnNews:Kennedy Assassination Solved
• UnNews:Brett Favre Commits Harakiri
• UnNews:Doll Takes The World By Storm
• UnNews:Animals the size of tanks spotted in large cities
• UnNews:Earth gains on Mars for sandiest planet
• UnNews:Comcast fires Keith Olbermann for knowing too much
• UnNews:First Pet Rock passes away
• UnNews:Abraham Lincoln was an asshat, historian concludes featured
• UnNews:Wisconsin governor introspective as thousands protest
• UnNews:5-year-old tricks Wisconsin governor featured with a great "Madison Movement" audio by Dexter and Mrthejazz.
• UnNews:Body of last World War I veteran to be shot to moon
• UnNews:"You Belong in a Zoo" man turns 100
• UnNews:Wheelchair-bound grandmother rescued from Reactor No. 4
• UnNews:China perfects gibbon arm transplant
• UnNews:911 conspiracies explained by a sandwich featured three days in a row!
• UnNews:To honor Earth Day, man goes over Niagara Falls in teacup
• UnNews:Kate Middleton's Pa readies shotgun wedding
• UnNews:UnNews obtains Bin Laden death photo
• UnNews:U.S. releases bin Laden home movies
• UnNews:Mobster enters weak GOP field
• UnNews:Occupy Uncyclopedia
• UnNews:Japanese Attack Pearl Harbor Again!
• UnNews:Bibowler Girl bowls 900 series
• UnNews:Man awakes from 25 year coma, gets irritated
• UnNews:Cuban bicycles to freedom, quickly returns
• UnNews:Tim Tebow routed in NFL playoff game
• UnNews:Newt Gingrich calls kettle black, GOP monkey house continues
• UnNews:"All Narcissists Look In A Mirror Day" celebrated featured
• UnNews:Gingrich goes all magical on Romney
• UnNews:Amazonian sea monster emerges from river
• UnNews:Baby trapped in well turns 25
• UnNews:Gandhi statue coming to life in London
• UnNews:Boys who aren't historians celebrate hot Senator
• UnNews:Rape of pregnant women legalized in Virginia
• UnNews:Five million 1950s jokes leaked onto uncyclopedia
• UnNews:Leap year scares old people and children
• UnNews:Why?:Mitt Romney is a dick
• UnNews:Sandra Weisenheimer is dating
• UnNews:U.S. Supreme Court allows everyone to go naked featured plus lead UnNews for ten days. Resulted in The Full Hilary.
• UnNews:Surprise winner of Masters Golf Tournament cries "Ow!" featured
• UnNews:Local man drops vase (rw for 2012 UnNews Pee Buddy Awards)
• UnNews:"Suddenly French Resistance" destroys net censorship

“How can I describe the feeling of having a feature? Let's see. It's like washing your face in gold, getting some in your eyes, and then washing the gold out of your eyes with whores. Something like that.”

~ SireSir Aleister of Hempstead on the Thames, Earl of Stanley laurel, House of the Rising Sun, on having a feature.