User:Administrator/Instant Water

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Nuvola apps important WARNING
In accordance with the OMG U SRS???// act of 2002, all content of this article is to be believed, with no disputes whatsoever. (Hey, you voted for Bush, moron.)



“Instant Water® is an excellent product. Just add water, and you have...water!”
~ Captain Obvious on Instant Water


Instant Water® is a miracle product, the latest in the "Instant" line. It is a pinnacle of science and technology. There is simply no alternative to it. It's an unprecedented innovation of existence. If you don't have at least one package of it, you are seriously behind the times, man.

edit How To Use Instant Water®

First, you take a specially designed Instant Water® cup. Then, go to a faucet or tap and place your cup under it. Now turn it on and fill your cup with water. And...


VOILA!


You have water! Hooray for you!

edit How Instant Water® Works

The terraforming gluons in the specially designed Ryporabin-Grolime cups are activated when Dihydrogen Monoxide, a primary component of tap water, comes into contact with the breakthrough hyperglucose ion receptors specially designed by NASA for their space missions. The DHMO is purified in the laser antimatter purification bath and converted by the biological filter into pure water.

edit Why You Need Instant Water®

Instant Water® gives you free, anywhere access to water as long as you have some water to add to it. Water has many uses:

  • It's tasty
  • Grues can not cross it
  • Chuck Norris's muscles are magnetically attracted to it (good in a deadly pinch)
  • Giving it to dehydrated African orphans repels malaria. For you. Because the mosquitoes will now try to steal the water that they now have.
  • Codeine, Sophia, Hot Chick, Queen Elizabeth, Ceridwyn, and every single unicorn ever are all addicted to it, and when deprived of it will do whatever you ask to get it.

In addition, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a highly deadly component of tap water which is converted into water by our filters. For more information, click here.

edit Is this a scam?

No, this is not a scam. Nor is it spam. Nor is it annoying nonsense composed entirely of hyperlinked text.

edit You are lying.

No, I am merely using irony. You see, this page is entirely composed of fictitious nonsense based on a product that does not actually exist, parodizing the miracle product industry. Furthermore, I, the guy who wrote this article, am therefore a complete jack-

Stop hand nuvola alternate I was blocked from Uncyclopedia, and all I got was this lousy template!
Administrator/Instant Water has been blocked from Uncyclopedia for misconduct. May its sad fate serve as a warning to others.
Make Uncyclopedia better, not worse. Stop the cycle of violins.


Ha Ha! This isn't a user page! You can't ban me!

..dammit.

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