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This script art a part of

The UnScripts Project

Your personal Shakspearian folio of humor, love, woe and other silly emotions.

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UnScripts: Big Sexy Hair.

After the incredible success of legendary musicals such as dogs, Phantom of the kareoke, Team America's: Everyone's got aids, Goose Lake and I like stuff, you like stuff, lets like stuff together (to name but a few), UnScripts brings you Big Sexy Hair which tells the heartwarming story of a young obese girl from a small redneck mountian town called Baltimore, who wakes up in a bed and decides to sing a song. As she walks around singing at everybody, a story of friendship, family and racism unravels and her infectious singing quickly spreads to everyone around her who also start singing and just happen to know the words to her songs. Big Sexy Hair ensures that the messages of love, dreams and kickass stiff hair contained within the play, will give everybody something to sing about.

edit Scene 1: Singy dancey, clappy clap, yeah yeah yeah!

A Short fat girl with big hair is lying in her bed on her back with her blanket covering half of her face apparently sleeping. She pulls the blanket halfway down to reveal her dark, wondering eyes and begins to sing.

Short fat girl: Oh oh oh, I am waking up. Oh oh oh I am opening the curtains. Oh, oh, oh look! There are people outside! Oh, oh, oh why not go and randomly greet them on my way to schoo-ooh--oohl. Wheee, oooh ahh.

She makes sure that her hair is still stiff and firm by spraying some "Big Sexy Hair" spray on it. Her hair magically stays in one place and she carries on singing.

Short fat girl: Oooh ooh, yeah yeah, wobble wobble, shake shake.

People start peeking through their curtains as the short fat girl leaves her house with her school bag thrown over her shoulder. Their eyes are wide with wonder and sudden excitement bubbles up inside of them as they leave their homes to join in with the signing.

Random woman 1: Hey you over there, what have you done with your hair? So kickass, so firm so cool! I want a bottle too!

Short fat girl: Thanks Mrs. Smith! How about you over there Cliff? Would you like a bottle too? Big sexy hair is so cool!

Suddenly there is a whole crowd following tracy as she casually makes her way to the bus stop. They are all skipping and clapping in synchronicity. They all sing together:

Big crowd of excited people: "We are dancing, we are clapping we are prancing we are happy because Short, fat, unidentified big-haired girl is off to schoo-ooh oohl. If you dont follow you're a foo-ooh oohl!

The chorus of singing repeats approximately five times as the short fat girl approaches the open and embracing bus doors which are wide open, reavealing a smiling bus driver who happens to me moving his shoulders happily. Short fat girl gets on to the bus and turns her singing onto the other school children.

Short fat girl: Hello Mr. bus driver. Hello bullying bitch who sits at the back of the bus every day and makes facetious comments about my weight! Hello, hello, hello!

The whole bus begins to sing along.

Black boy #1: Ooh ooh. Hello Tracy, hello hello hello!

Facetious bitch: Fuck you Tracy, fuckedy fuckedy fuck you, ooh ooh, yeah yeah, you are fat, you are ugly and my friends and I find that very funny, yeah yeah yeah!

The short fat girl (Now identified as Tracy) sits down next to a young, blonde 13-year old girl who is seductively sucking a lolly pop. Music ends. Tracy hugs her and begins to speak excitedly to her.

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