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Health Alert: Reading This Page May Cause Instant Death. However, since this warning is part of the page, you're likely already dead. :)

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Yo fatties. I, mean, uh... people who are kinda, no, not even, stout... hehehehe...

I am also an autoconfirmed Wikipedia user but I prefer Uncyclopedia better. I am a true Uncyclopedian, dammit!

Member (MUN)

This user likes Manchester United
en-N This user is a native speaker of English.
en-P This f****r speaks English heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
US flag This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

Virgindeguadalupe This user is Catholic and believes articles become featured through good works, not faith.
Lovejoybox This user is a Christian

(as long as they put a dollar in the box)

LV-5 This user considers him/herself a professional gamer and so has the worlds highest scores but no job, money, friends or place to live.
DIFF H This user plays Video Games on the highest difficulty available because they like to get the most out of their games and thinks you should too!
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