User:Aargragargle/Li xu

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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Aargragargle/Li xu. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.
Lixu
The power of Li's scream emanating off of him. NOTE: Image has not been doctored. It was takes by a Li-resistant camera and has not been photo-shopped in any way.
Li xu a god. He walks amongst men and screams loudly for long periods of time. He allows the band "Balance of silence" the privilege of having him as a singer. He writes lyrics that if the human mind tries to comprehend, it explodes. He's THAT deep.


edit Li's childhood

Li was born in eleven seconds, in another dimension. He screamed such meaningful lyrics the second he entered that world, everyone in the room was immediately killed. When doctors at the hospital found the result of his power, the entered bearing ear muffs and anti-sound shields to prevent Li resigning them to the same fate. When captured, Li was put into a lead-lined concrete box; this gave him time to think. Li had so much time to think that the box which encased him couldn't handle the philosophy anymore and it imploded; creating a black hole, into which Li was sucked. The wormhole which lead from that black hole spat Li out very close to the planet we call earth. He landed in beacon hill in Leicester, causing a once active volcano to become dormant from the power of his thoughts. In his crater at Beacon hill, Li remained for Milena, giving the planet time to adjust to his in comprehensible knowledge of all things philosophical. Eventually, when he chose to emerge, the rocks which had formed around him for the many years he lay there moved out of the way in fear. Once emerging, Li then started to walk around the Leicestershire area thinking about things, and lining his wallet by the power of his thoughts, hence his richness.

edit Li's later life

On his travels around Leicester, having thought a lot of chavs to death, Li met a group of people who happened to play instruments. They seemed to be immune to his psycho-super-screamo powers and they formed a band. Balance of Silence. A name feared by all who know of it who are not immune to Li. A greater power seems to be curbing the success of the band, perhaps to keep the death toll down, perhaps just because he doesn't like them, the answer is unknown by all...unless its considered philosophical...in which case Li knows the answer. The band recorded an album, which was named the path of fate. The title itself is so shrouded in mystery and a shield of philosophy incomparable to Descartes, that most people who ever viewed it turned into hobo's instantly. The Album was, and still is, considered a weapon of mass destruction by most authorities due to its ability to out think anyone, even Einstein, without even being put into a CD player. That's if anyone can get past the box. The band, Balance of Silence, has lost several band members due to their inability to deal with Li's insightful screaming. Rumour has it that these band members are now either Hobo-fied or have been huffing kittens turning them into drivelling idiots. Li-proof people have replaced these members and the bands power is rising at a great level.

edit The Present

Li is currently midway through replacing yet another band member who has become hobo-fied by long exposure to him. This band member can now be found walking in circles around all major landmarks in Birmingham. Once a new band member has been gained, they will be working on writing and recording their latest assault on the world, their second album. Some believe only time will tell what may happen. Others say it was written about in the book of revelations.

edit Facts about Li xu

  • He can scream away a Chuck Norris Roundhouse.
  • Grues fear his growl.
  • He has a 3rd lung.
  • He has a 4th lung made of metal as a spare.
  • He's a god.
  • Most supernovae are caused by Li screaming.
  • Li Xu can think his way out of a paper bag.
  • Li's voice can melt the sun.
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