User:A.Z?123/HowTo:Become A Politician

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Poo Lit Surprise Logo This article is under construction for the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition.
For some reason, A.Z?123 thinks he/she/it has a chance.
Humor them and give them a fair shot. Unless you're A.Z?123, hands off!
“Politics- from the Greek "poly", meaning "many", and from the English "ticks, meaning "blood-sucking creatures".”
~ UnDictionary on Politics

Many, many people agree with the above quote. They think politics is stupid and pointless. What people don't realize are the huge benefits of becoming a politician. You see, when you're in politics, you can do many things regular people can't, like:

  • Evading taxes
  • Vote on bills
  • Corrupt money
  • Get everyone in general to hate you
  • And so much more!

Of course, not everything on this list is legal, but if you don't get caught, it's not illegal, right? <wink, wink>

edit Political Ideology

PROCEDURE: Before you do anything, you need to choose your political ideology. There are two common political ideologies in America: liberal and conservative. Of course, there are other types of ideology like Nazism, Communism, Libertarianism, etc. You probably won't be able to garner enough support with a minor ideology, so it is better to choose between the previously-mentioned major ideologies. Of those two, liberal is better right now because Congress is controlled by them right now. Almost any legislature you wrtie up will be passed due to your liberalism.You will find it easier to gain support.

PRACTICE: Say "I am a flaming liberal" one hundred times. Then write up a bill concerning something that doesn't need any action that you feel that the rest of Congress will want to screw up. Last, mail the bill to the President and see if he signs it.


edit Before Running for Office

Get involved

edit Speaking Skills

edit Charming the Public

edit Issues

edit Election Day

edit Re-Election

edit Retirement

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